It's not love but lust, good old fashioned lust, the purest! Paul and Chris, busy on the plates.

Pro surfer-turned-Emmy-nominated DJ FISHER reveals explicit sexual fantasies featuring Conor McGregor and long-time guy-pal Chris Hemsworth, “Imagine slapping that f**king arse!”

A bold sexual revolutionary with a truly obscene ruthlessness!

The former-pro-surfer-and-comic-turned-DJ Paul Fisher, who trades under the stage name FISHER and who makes provocative videos that’ll make you want to twist your nipples in the dark, has revealed a bank of sexually explicit homosexual fantasies on the podcast Darling Shine!

FISHER, you’ll remember, delighted bar patrons in Las Vegas last year by gatecrashing his wife’s thirtieth birthday celebration at an all-male revue, performing a striptease act of his own, twitching like a dynamo and simulating forced fellatio, cunnilingus and coitus live on stage.


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A post shared by FISHER (@followthefishtv)

You can sense his hate for the legions of vaginally frigid out there, preferring the souped-up voltage of a clitoris ready to spring.

And, now, on a podcast hosted by his wife Chloe and her pal Ellidy Pullin, FISHER has revealed his most explicit sexual fantasies.

“I would definitely have to fuck Hemsworth,” said FISHER as he played a game called Fuck, Marry, Kill, “That thing, imagine slapping that fucking arse, it’s pretty good.”

Host Emily suggested FISHER should marry Hemsworth thereby guaranteeing multiple sexual excursions.

FISHER then nominated the mixed martial artist and former UFC champion in both the featherweight and lightweight divisions Conor McGregor as someone whom he would enjoy getting down on his knees behind and examining the machine more attentively before, cock stiff as a drainpipe and as red as a cheap piece of fishing tackle, working away like a billy goat.

FISHER nominated another UFC fighter, Luke Rockhold, as the person he would kill.

In the same podcast, FISHER and Chloe also talk of the travails of trying to have a kid via IVF.

A mixed bag, as they say.


Happier-ish times.
Happier-ish times.

Bombshell explodes as World Surf League allegedly detonates its much ballyhooed “WSL Studios” overnight sending tens of employees to the unemployment line without warning and pivoting hard away from original media!

Well shoots.

It felt like only minutes ago, though in reality it was probably months/years, that the World Surf League had decided that “content” and “media” was its future thereby launching the ambitious WSL Studios and poised for riches.



HBO etc.

Well, an explosive new rumor, from a great and handsome source, has just floated across BeachGrit‘s perpetually sunny horizon, like a World War II balloon bomb of old, that declares the much ballyhooed WSL Studios was shuttered overnight, multiple employees fired without warning, and this is the end?

Of that?

Heir of publishing money who turned it into hedge fund capital and a co-Waterperson of the Year title Dirk Ziff, who purchased the World Surf League, then the Association of Surfing Professionals, for free some ten years ago, has sunk over an alleged half billion United States dollars into the venture but decided that the only thing that matters is the tours and the shoulder content associated with the selfsame tour, not independent films based upon the “Rise and Fall of Gabriel Medina” which may have been very good.

The sparkling white Vans sporting Erik Logan, brought over from the highly successful Oprah Winfrey Network, was theoretically the man for that WSL Studios job. His place remains safe, as CEO of the whole shebang for the time being, but tens of others are out on the streets, maybe starving, and without warning.

This whole business is, theoretically, supposed to be kept mum until Friday but thank you BeachGrit for hustling the news forthwith because Friday is generally not chill for news.

I am almost certain that “Thank you, BeachGrit” is uttered in the Ziff household nightly.


And, as always, more as the story develops.

Gabriel and Sophia, the world champ holding what looks like a Lost round-nose-fish.

World surfing champion Gabriel Medina reunites with half-sister and surf prodigy Sophia following breakup of marriage to Sports Illustrated model Yasmin Brunet and rapprochement with estranged mom and step daddy, “My little one!”

The Champ and his lil sis back together after family feud went nuclear following marriage to Yasmin Brunet.

The three-time world champ Gabriel Medina has posted his first photo with his half-sis and surf prodigy Sophia since his dramatic split with his mama Simone and step-daddy Charlie Serrano

Gabriel became estranged from his Simone and Charlie following his marriage to the Sports Illustrated model Yasmin Brunet.

The feud went nuclear shortly after with Simone’s allegations of a wild sex tape of a real young Yasmin from a drunken party in Rio.

“She was really crazy at a party at her condo in Rio. Drunk, in the parking lot, doing this to a guy and then throwing up,” Simone allegedly wrote to her son.

Yasmin, in turn, hit Simone with a defamation suit.

Gabriel then quit the tour only two weeks before the tour’s opening gambit at Pipe amid rumours that he’d quit pro surfing for good.

“Last year was a very difficult year for me and Gabriel,” Yasmin posted. “I’ve said many interviews that anyone else in his place wouldn’t have been able to get where he did, in fact anyone in his place wouldn’t even have gotten out of bed. I saw firsthand everything he suffered because I suffered along with him. I saw him hold back a lot that was extremely unfair to him. Many times we were slaughtered needlessly without even knowing the truth of what they were publishing. 

Shortly after, Gabriel announced that he and Yasmin had drawn the curtain on their year-long marriage.

And here we are, Gabriel and lil sis, daughter of Simone and Charlie, on the beach, post-shred at Maresias on the north coast of São Paulo where Gabriel is currently selling his swank beachfront mansion, complete with swimming pool and sauna.

“My little one,” writes Gabriel.

The apparent rapprochement follows a moving post from his mama one week ago,

“This morning I prayed, getting ready to leave, end of vacation!!!!! This photo appeared in my Google photos memories of a very cold day in Trestles, I almost became a penguin lol but even with cold every mother is ready to warm her children. A lot of training day at Trestles. As always rain, shine, wind or hurricane, big waves, shark we are always there as a resting place. God bless you in this new cycle son. gabrielmedina felipemedina_17 @sophiamedina @charlaomedina100 you are my resting place. Love you”


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A post shared by Siimone Medina (@simonemedina)

Since the split with Gabriel, surfing power couple Simone and Charlie concentrated on Sophia’s burgeoning career.

To manage the kid, a sports agency, SoMedina Sports, was formed as a partnership between Charlie and Sophie, Charlie taking ninety percent, Sophia, ten.

From opportunity knocks department, abandoned cargo ship laden with Porsches, Lamborghinis, Bentleys, still adrift and unmanned off surf-rich Azores!

Get paddling!

Come on, here, surfers. This has gone on far too long and I simply can’t believe one of our kind has not asserted maritime law and gone to fetch the cargo ship laden with Porsches and Bentleys and Lamborghinis that as been abandoned off the Azores surf-rich coast.

The whole troubles began sometime last week when the Felicity Ace caught fire in the Atlantic, the crew jumped ship and off she floated alone and lonely with her loot.

Fire crews on tugs have attempted to reach her, though turbulent weather has delayed them meaning that opportunity is knocking, and knocking loudly, for one of our Portuguese brethren to paddle and claim.

“There are no visible fire spots anymore, and there’s no more smoke,” João Manuel Mendes Cabeças, captain of the nearest Portuguese naval port on the island of Faial in the Azores told the Wall Street Journal yesterday. “The temperature inside the ship is still high, but at least the crew can be on the main deck.”

As it so happens, the whole of the World Surf League Championship Tour will be in Portugal soon. Easy flights to the Azores. Easy paddles to felicity.

Who’s in?

Kanoa Igarashi?

A smoked Lamborghini would complement that gold chain nicely.

Tudor (in black) attempts to pull World Surf League's head from sand.
Tudor (in black) attempts to pull World Surf League's head from sand.

Surf champion Joel Tudor continues pounding World Surf League for answers about decimation of longboarding tour as biggest geopolitical crisis of our time reaches boiling point!

"Would love to say that’s all folks…but sadly we are still here with no answer or hope for a future!"

World champion longboarder Joel Tudor is back on the offensive, this morning, in response to the World Surf League’s most oft employed defensive strategy. Silence. Ears plugged with Joe Turpel flavored cotton candy silence. And while that particular sound of silence may be enough to head off other annoying this and thats, it is not enough to derail surfing’s great polemicist.

The biggest geopolitical crisis of our time sparked to life a handful of weeks ago when it was rumored that the World Surf League was considering and/or made up its hive mind to cut the longboard world tour from three stops to one.

Tudor, enraged by the possibility and especially after the WSL had leaned so heavily into women’s longboarding during its Pro Pipeline event, took to the public square and asked, “Yo @wsl @jessmileydyer @elo_eriklogan can y’all explain this kind of equality?”

Well, the aforementioned @jessimileydyer, who happens to be World Surf League commissioner Jessi Miley-Dyer, went straight to her desk, pulled out dusty paper and pen and wrote a letter to professional longboarders, declaring that their champion, Joel Tudor, was being “unhelpful and misleading” in a gaslit pyre that would have made even the most adept abusers green with jealousy.

Tudor proceeded to march up to the World Surf League’s Wall of Positive Noise and pound his 95-theses upon it then…


Until today.

Tudor is back with questions needing answering. Per his latest:

Yoooooooooo @wsl @elo_eriklogan @jessmileydyer a week away from March ..month 3 of the new year and still no plan for our existence within your organization! The reply letter we all received was laughable & insulting! Would love to say that’s all folks…but sadly we are still here with no answer or hope for a future! Beyond disrespectful and not very equality minded!


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A post shared by Joel Tudor (@joeljitsu)

How will the League respond?

The globe waits with bated breath.