United States House of Representatives candidate from Oklahoma does state’s first son and World Surf League CEO Erik Logan proud by harshly criticizing pre-teen girls at party then vomiting in their shoes!

“judgy f–ker”

There was much consternation, years ago, when it was revealed that a man from Oklahoma would be taking the reins of our World Surf League. “Oklahoma?” Santa Barbarans, San Clementarinos, Haleiwaites muttered under briny breath. “What can Oklahoma know of this grand ocean? What can this Sooner teach us?”

Well, he taught us that professional surfing can be successfully moved inland (See: Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch) and it has also just been revealed that Oklahoma is homa to a mother who could absolutely shatter the Sprinter van set and raise the greatest legend since Andy Irons but have you read the reported tale of Abby Broyles candidate (democrat) of Oklahoma’s 5th congressional district?

Now, the story goes that she went to the house of a friend who was hosting a sleepover with “multiple middle school girls present.”

Broyles, it is alleged, began drinking red wine, chasing that with red wine, followed by a flight of red wine then, according to the New York Post:

The report states that Broyles insulted the girls attending the sleepover after becoming intoxicated, according to multiple people interviewed by the news outlet, who said she allegedly said one girl was an “acne f–ker,” and hurled multiple insults at other young girls as well.

“Hispanic f–ker,” she allegedly said to one girl, and “judgy f–ker” to another.

One of the young girls left the room in tears after being insulted by Broyles, according to the report.

Broyles also allegedly vomited into a laundry basket as well as a girl’s shoe, according to the report.

Now, imagine how the mothers of up-and-coming professional surfers with names like Landon or Bradon or Wolf or King would deal with this full frontal assault. They would not, pack up the Sprinter and retreat to trampoline parks leaving Broyles and her kin to continue dominance on the future of professional surfing.

You’re doin’ fine, Oklahoma. Oklahoma O.K.