Keramas during a WSL event there a few years back. | Photo: WSL

Fears of “worst crowds ever” at once secret surf spot following listing in “world’s best black sand beaches”!

"Especially popular among surfers…"

With locals already pining away for the pandemic days of yore when Keramas was empty and local kids could become really good surfers in under two years, the prestigious Travel + Leisure Magazine just had to go and list it as one of the world’s finest black sand beaches for tourism.

Now that the borders are open the last line-up count on a good day at Keramas came in at fifty-five. And, this is a one-man, or one-gal, wave.

Still, you can fantasize that you are Rizal Tandjung, who is still out-surfing the 18 year olds at age 47. He is our Indonesian Kelly Slater. Such is his level of local respect that he gets the pick of the litter on any set that he damn well pleases.

Dream on.

Due to the combo of local crowds and new visitors these days, the common salute to any overseas visitor headed over to surf Keramas is “Good luck, mate”.

Along with such secret spots such as as Iceland’s Jökulsárlón Beach, Italy’s Spiaggia di Ficogrande beneath Stromboli and Japan’s Miho no Matsubara in Shizuoka, Travel + Leisure has described Keramas Beach as “stunning” and “especially popular among surfers, so it’s a great place to hit the waves or at least watch as the surfers ride in over the black sand.”

Oh Christ.

Anyone who has bounced off the reef at Keramas can sneer at the wisdom of that.

But isn’t it comforting that squares will never understand the sport of kings?

The magazine feature also fails to mention that the word Keramas translates to “Washing Hair”. The rivermouth that has honed the reef to perfection having once been the perfect place for Balinese women to bathe.

The Travel + Leisure feature also notes that Keramas Beach is “perhaps the only surfing beach in Bali offering nighttime illuminated surfing”.

Perhaps?

It’s the only one. Thank the Gods.

And other than the deadly virus of wavepools sweeping the globe, any surfer in the world would be hard pressed to name any others.

Yet, it is true.

You can actually pay the Komune resort to flip the switch on their stadium lights and surf by an “illumination” that expat John Anderson describes as “about as good as surfing by the lights of a Ute parked on Seven Mile Beach”.

Also, surfing at night is strictly forbidden by the deeper Balinese culture.

The ocean at night here is the realm of child stealing spirits and must be respected.

No joke.

And so it goes. Open borders and prestigious awards.

After all, Bali loves the smell of tourists in the morning…it smells like…victory.

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Sid Bream
Sid Bream
4 years ago

Why do you have to use the term “Oh Christ” in your article, why not Oh Buddha, or Oh Muhammad, since you’re talking about Indonesia. It’s very timely at Easter to show your casual disrespect for Christians and Christianity.

ngoolark
ngoolark
4 years ago

in the words of The Ramones – “hey ho- lets not go”

Italo Post Heat Interview
Italo Post Heat Interview
4 years ago

Bali is long lost and after the jaded ‘grumpy locals’ abandon the place it will be the kooks and russians who inherit the bukit. The waves arent that good either, think about it.

Barrelled
Barrelled
4 years ago

The waves are that good, it’s just too crowded now.

Hippy
Hippy
4 years ago

Seek professional help

davidcarson
davidcarson
4 years ago

Mate’being the key word in that quote…..

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
4 years ago

Sounds like there’s a luxury yacht full of leftys parked out the back most nights

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
4 years ago

Would that be your nightmare Bexy? The yacht of socialism!

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
4 years ago

Having to talk to Albo and getting a face full of his spit.

Ricky Spanish
Ricky Spanish
4 years ago

Is this Bali Grit now?

Jordy's pout
Jordy's pout
4 years ago
Reply to  Ricky Spanish

Matt George Grit

@surfads
@surfads
4 years ago

These pseudonyms are getting even more elaborate Mr George.

But at least this one is interesting. I last surfed that joint about five years ago and was almost judo chopped by an angry Balo surf coach because I burned the Japanese surfer he was blocking for that had snaked me on the set I had been waiting half an hr for. Whatever, that’s fine. But the joint has definitely jumped the shark.

Party Pete
Party Pete
4 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

It was 10 years ago for me. I have no interest in returning there – I think I’ll maybe never go back to Bali – but then I stayed after my sesh at the Wavepool on Friday to see Toledo surf the left on the barrel setting. He and his entourage had that tropical surfer vibe and it reminded me of how it feels to surf and hang in a warmer climate.

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
4 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

Was thinking.. this is either a misspelling of Lynch, or the first time I’ve been exposed to the surname of Lymch.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
4 years ago

Russian name.

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
4 years ago

Pronounced “limk”?
A quick google tells me there is an author by the name of Robert R Lymch.

@surfads
@surfads
4 years ago

Lorne Wynch

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
4 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

Larton Bynch?

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
4 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

If he’d thrown you, judo, a chop, likely, karate. Now. A t-shirt to the first reader who can guess the famous author’s photo used on this nom de plume.

Huli Opu
Huli Opu
4 years ago

Michel Houellebecq

Huli Opu
Huli Opu
4 years ago
Reply to  Huli Opu

Pay up cunt and throw Veronica in for good measure.


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