"Everyone thought I was gonna go crazy..."

It seems like just yesterday that Mick Fanning was hoisting his third title high above his tow head with all of Australia cheering wildly for their hero. The sporting nation has a long, storied history in the ocean waters with many champions before Fanning, including Mark Occhilupo and Mark Richards and Tom Carroll to name but three and there was no indication that mastery over the waves and American and Brazil would end.

Except it accidentally did. That yesterday is now nearly a decade ago and no Australian has been close to a title. Thoroughly and properly dominated by John John Florence and Adriano De Souza.

But could sweet relief be just in reach in the form of Western Australia’s thoroughly lovable Jack Robinson?

After back to back event mainstream news organ The Guardian thinks yes. The one-time prodigy and current world number two is profiled in today’s online issue, readying the public for his potential ascendence.

Robinson talks about this childhood:

I did home-school for a lot of the years. Everyone kind of thought I was gonna go crazy, like didn’t know what was gonna happen with me, because I’d be surfing all the time. It was like: ‘He’s not at school!’. But I had the best time ever. I was lucky to travel at a young age and see the world, see different cultures. It was pretty cool growing up like that.

The World Qualifying Series:

I think my view on it wasn’t very good – especially when the waves were shitty.

His relationship with his unique father:

I think it’s not always the easiest when you’re doing it with your family, them playing the manager as well – doing that with the companies, managing me and then also managing the deals. He’s my Dad – we keep that relationship like that, and I think it’s in a much better place.

And this year’s building pressure:

There’s a lot going on, more eyes on you, people saying this and that. But I think the main thing is to focus on yourself. Take it moment by moment, being present, going surfing.

It is a fine profile, certainly worth a read. Enjoy here.

Meanwhile, Italo Ferreira struggles to stay in world title contention… 

Joe Turpel and Mitchell Salazar kicked us off today, each man resplendent in the statutory Hawaiian shirt uniform of the WSL announcer.

Turpel, muted pastels and grey; Salazar, a more robust orange pattern on black background.

Joe turned to Mitchell for introductions.

“Joe Turpel, here with Mitchell Salazar, a man who competed here at the QS level…a few years back.”

The pause was critical.

The pause seemed to look Salazar up and down.

Deliberate or otherwise, it was a wonderful start to the day.

The waves, however, were less than wonderful.

Onshore throughout the day. Never to the stage that they were unsurfable, but relentlessly sectiony and distinctly unpretty.

The quality of the waves was not helped by continual comparisons to J-Bay. In classic WSL Emperor’s New Clothes tradition, they followed the script they had hoped to deliver, not the one we could see.

But the day was not lost, and not without moments of entertainment. More so for me because this comp runs at sociable hours and I’m better able to respond in a timely and lucid fashion.

Not so for the BeachGrit principals, it would seem, who couldn’t even manage to get a live comment post up.

(Editor’s note: A little comms static ‘tween DR and Chas. Stream saved in the back end by DR, instructions sent to Chas to kick live if contest runs, Chas in Germany, good times intervened etc.)

The message was clear: European (or Central American) Gritters be dammed.

One might imagine the mood in El Salvador as low today.

The jewel in the crown of their self-proclaimed “Surf City” failed to shine for the first WCT event in Central America, and Bitcoin continued to plummet to lows not seen for a year or more.

This is the country, if you recall, that made Bitcoin legal tender, and whose government, led by president Nayib Bukele, have gone all in on the digital asset, purchasing 2301 Bitcoins for a cost of around $105 million.

Today, that stash is worth around $51 million.

(I wonder how Mr Diamond Hands is feeling?)

It’s a bold strategy to throw your country’s wealth into such a volatile asset, especially when you’re already in debt.

But what else to do when your back’s against the wall? You might as well gamble.

Far be it from me to criticise.

Buy the dip, boys. Buy the dip.

Safer bets, however, would have been made on professional surfing today, and it’s not often you can say that.

Gabriel Medina, Filipe Toledo and Jack Robinson seem unflappable right now. Victories over lower seeds seem assured in any conditions they’re forced to go in.

Ethan Ewing is close behind.

He never advanced through his heat today, narrowly losing to Yago Dora’s tail-high rotation, the only truly spectacular moment of the day.

 

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But I was sure that in these conditions he would struggle. I still see Ewing as a surfer who needs good waves to perform, but maybe that’s just a hangover from previous failures at this level. I’m not quite ready to bet the house on him, but his immaculate style and flow was evident even in today’s junky surf, and I noted the improvement.

There is no consistency nor improvement for poor Italo, who can’t seem to buy a win right now.

Would you believe me if I told you that Italo’s only had four scores above an 8.0 all season?

Don’t believe me? Believe Joe Turpel. That’s who said it.

I haven’t fact-checked it (why would I need to, Joe don’t lie) but it’s more than a little surprising. Shocking, even.

Think of how many waves Italo catches. We’re six events deep. Just four scores over 8?

On more than one occasion this season I’ve thought Italo to be judged harshly.

By whom?

Pritamo Ahrendt…a vengeful god…I’m not sure. All I know is that he’s on someone’s bad side.

Caio Ibelli, however, seems to have fallen back into favour now that he’s wound his neck in, ditched the white wettie, and diligently performed his prayers at bedtime. He advanced through to the round of 16 at the expense of Griffin and Jake Marshall. Not entirely surprising given the conditions, I suppose, but I had expected (more than hoped) that Colapinto would be juiced up on Haribos and smash him.

I’m not sure I can stomach any more of Caio Ibelli’s unspectacularly moderate success this season.

At the opposite end of the scale was Medina, who looked underscored yet still unbeatable. The acceleration he gets from his bottom turns is perplexing. He seems to find speed in dead sections of the wave where there should be none.

 

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I know he’s only been back two minutes, but if Medina appeared at my front door as Vecna from Stranger Things I’d happily let him eat my brain and snap my limbs.

Onto elimination we go.

Let’s hope the wind swings tomorrow, along with my fortunes.

Unfortunately for this writer, Brisa Hennesy’s hoof injury wiped out nearly half of my initial stakes for this competition.

Eat me, Gabriel. Eat me.

“They did CPR on him for 20 minutes and then put a sheet over him… he seemed very dead.”

Five days ago, a man in his forties was pulled unconscious from “shockingly cold” water by other surfers at URBNSURF, Australia’s only commercially operating wavepool. 

A statement from URBNSURF said they’d reviewed the footage which showed “the surfer collapsed while paddling out and did not the hit the wall”. 

The man was taken to the Royal Melbourne Hospital in a critical condition. No update since. 

A surfer who was in the lineup when the incident happened says the man “didn’t make the drop on a wave and just kind of tumbled and then all I saw was him floating but that was a little bit after…it took some time for people to get to him. It was weird. They did CPR on him for twenty minutes and then put a sheet over him and we all assumed the worst. Then the news says he’s in a critical condition in hospital and that’s it. Have heard nothing since. Not even a call from Urbnsurf. Just seems very odd. He seemed very dead as awful as that sounds.

The water, even this early in winter, was “shockingly cold,”he says. “I felt like I had a heart attack when I went under.” 

The worst part, he says, is not knowing what happened to the man.

“Poor guy. Wish we had some clarity. It was a pretty traumatic experience.”

Surfers were offered counselling and given credit for the value of surf sessions missed or interrupted, the credit redeemed via a promo code. 

Money, money, money, money.

Yesterday, we discovered together a new heretofore unforeseen way for us, as surfers, to make money. Ties. Smart but, I suppose, we are also late as the market has already been cornered by an entrepreneurial father/son. So what now? Thankfully the universe lent an ear to our troubles and has provided a way forward.

Betting.

Bookmakers.com has just announced odds on the “world’s 30 hardest sporting feats.” Skiing the North Pole swings in at 500,000/1, landing a hole-in-one in golf at 12,500/1, bowling a perfect game 8,000/1 and surfing an 80 ft. wave 10,000/1.

Per the press release:

The debate over just which sporting feat is the most difficult has raged for decades, as sports fans everywhere have struggled to really put to bed this age-old question.

The sporting experts at Bookmakers.com, however, have gotten together and crunched the numbers to work out the odds for which sporting feat is really the most difficult, and which, if any, have been greatly exaggerated. The balance, coordination, bravery, and sheer stamina required to surf competitively are no secret, but it is only the 1% of the 1% that will ever achieve the feat of surfing a wave the length of the White House.

So, next time you’re out with your pals and this debate flares up again, or debating with the family around the dinner table, it’s best to keep this list close to hand, so you can finally put an end to the arguing with some cold, hard facts and let the data do the talking.

Sebastian Steudnter has, just last month, been given the Guinness World Record for “Largest Wave Ever Ridden” at 86 some odd feet or 42.3 German Male Lower Legs. Now, I can’t imagine bookies will allow us to retroactively claim those 10,000/1 odds but I’d have to think that this coming winter, the record will certainly be broken or at least challenged.

10,000/1.

That’s $100,000 for $100. $1,000,000 for $1,000.

With inflation the way she is, that’ll be enough to feed your family for a week or maybe five days.

Find a bookie quick!