Surfing.
Surfing.

Heartbroken chanteuse Shakira’s therapeutic surf vacation takes stunning turn as mystery hunk approaches her in lineup, helps smooth frontside flow!

The ocean giveth.

The world was spun into dizzying shock, days ago, when it was announced that Spanish football, or soccer, stud Girard Pique and the popular Colombian singer-songwriter Shakira were parting ways after 11 years of coupling. Fans, who had comforted themselves in the fairytale romance, immediately took to the streets openly wailing, shouting up to the heavens for answers.

While Pique has remained in Barcelona, allegedly practicing football, or soccer, and watching tennis Shakira has headed to Northern Spain in order to mend her heart thought the healing powers of surf.

Things seemed to be going well as cameramen, stationed on the beach, captured the chanteuse straddling a thick-railed red surfboard and smiling in the deep blue.

Therapeutic.

But yesterday, events took a stunning turn. There Shakira was again, straddling, smiling, but this time a mystery hunk approached and began speaking with her. Maybe sharing profound secrets of this surfing life for the very next wave she caught exhibited a smoothed out, enviably languid frontside style. Weight properly distributed. Stance ready for barrel or air.

Brazilian.

The goofy foot paddled back out to her new friend and the two continued to smile and converse, catch more waves, mend.

You must witness the entire scene here but could it be? The ocean not only providing soothing comfort but also a new man?

Who could he possibly be?

Tennis great Rafa Nadal (see above)?

Possibly.

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Gino
Gino
4 years ago

Gotta say, looking pretty average.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago

THE JETSKI SHUFFLE: Have an unsafe and insane weekend BGer’s…that still celebrate life, liberty and the pursuit of sappiness…

SANTA BARBARA, Calif. – First responders are urging visitors to stay safe July 4th weekend.

Heat exhaustion, heat stroke, dehydration, drowning, and accidents related to intoxication are of utmost concern.

Santa Barbara County Fire Spokesperson Scott Safechuck says, “Illegal fireworks can cause hand injuries, eye injuries… and a lot of the times those happen to children.”

Children are also susceptible to water related injuries.

Santa Barbara Aquatic Supervisor Tony Sholl emphasizes the importance of water safety stating, “A lot of people want to come out and bring floaties and everything for their kids, but it really needs to be
lifeguard approved.”

Sholl adds that stingrays pose a threat to swimmers, as well, saying “We like to say do the stingray shuffle. So let’s just shuffle your feet as you’re going into the water to let the stingrays know you’re coming.”

Whether swimming, hiking, or sunbathing both fire officials and water safety experts maintain that staying hydrated is critical.


https://www.unbatch.com/wp-…

Eesha Williams
Eesha Williams
4 years ago

Glad to hear I’m not the only one who has been experiencing technical difficulties with the Beach Grit comments.

Eesha Williams
Eesha Williams
4 years ago

Surfline posted an article today headlined, “The Way It Was: California like you’ve never seen it before.” It totally failed to encourage readers to do anything to make the world better: donate to a land trust, call your member of Congress and ask them to create new parks, etc.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago
Reply to  Eesha Williams

Surfline at its finest…premmy membership is bitchin’…as for donations? Nope. Attended the first meeting of Surfrider Foundation…

Thirty seven years ago a group of surfers from Malibu, California, were concerned about the health risks associated with environmental threats posed by escalating coastal development at their favorite surf spot. They took action. Not even they could have envisioned the history they were making when they succeeded in protecting their beloved surf spot.

Since its inception in 1984, the Surfrider Foundation has evolved into one of the largest non-profit grassroots organizations with a volunteer-activist network dedicated to its mission to protect and enjoy the world’s oceans, waves and beaches.

Here’s why: as a young enviro-consultant eager to raise a young fam, activism isn’t a career…complying with cali’s strict regiment for any business producing widgets, I wanted to make changes that kept business in business…my teams assisted hundreds of clients in reducing pollutants in wastewater, air emissions, and soil…thru onsite pretreatment, best management practices and/or remediation…and meeting strict regulatory compliance…thru engineering and common sense solutions…while protecting an entire coast, not just the local surf spot.

Nothing irritates me more than having to go to a courtroom, or do a deposition, or attend group rallies, or public hearings…hoping to make a change.

EW, you are in the right headspace, but don’t trust your government. Keep your money and enjoy the spoils, as such, of the great cali experience…pretty sure you and I have, and are having, a great ride!

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago

saved by zero…fixxit!

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
4 years ago

For every piece of ass there is a dick that is tired of fucking it. More so if you have money.

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
4 years ago

For every piece of ass there is a dick that is tired of fucking it. More so if you have money.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago
Reply to  Sean Connery

worth repeating!

Tom
Tom
4 years ago

Holy fuck just clicked the story – how many photos do these cunts reel off prob took 1000 to publish the shit they posted there. That was a waste of 5 secs of my life – fucking click bait, fucking hangover

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
4 years ago
Reply to  Tom

I’ve learned to never do that

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
4 years ago
Reply to  Tom

Oooof I’m nursing a wicked one too. Pizza, Codeine and YouTube is the remedy.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago

A successful Australian heiress and entrepreneur allegedly had drunken sex with a 14-year-old boy on four occasions in a 24-hour period and is now being held in custody as she awaits trial.

An adjacent-adjacent story, much disimiliar (to Chas’ post) maybe…but the best comment to the BB post is worth sharing with you guys:

Award w8nning comment is as follows:

The 14 yr old has passed away after being high fived to death by his friends…(complete satire, you’re welcome!)

https://media.breitbart.com…

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
4 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

His life has peaked way way too soon.

Surfer
Surfer
4 years ago

Come on guys is it to much to ask to post about real surfing stuff instead of click bait to rate higher in the SEO department so that people will advertise on the site.

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
4 years ago
Reply to  Surfer

The mod doesn’t surf, and hates boobs. What would you expect?

Surfer
Surfer
4 years ago
Reply to  ValiantScorn

Just another reason to ride a SUP in the ocean with Jonah Hill

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
4 years ago
Reply to  Surfer

Hold tight. Next week we’re having a series of interviews with the different brands and reviewing the zips on their wetsuits.
Also the following week Pilates v yoga, just what is the best for surfing and the cherry on the top. Bucket list surf destinations.

astro
astro
4 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

A double twisting ! Dirty diqus

astro
astro
4 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Diqus pizzle twisted me

astro
astro
4 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

That’s a fucken record, right there. Three twistings ….
I wonder if it’ll repeat again ….

astro
astro
4 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

I’m writing a feature entitled, “South Islanders like wearing pantsuits. Here’s why you should too.”
It’ll be extremely well received, I have no doubt.

F Scott Fitzbarrelled
F Scott Fitzbarrelled
4 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Oh that sounds just delightful; may we also learn the difference between warm and cold water wax too please?

Gumby's Left Nut
Gumby's Left Nut
4 years ago
Nonagon_Infinity
Nonagon_Infinity
4 years ago

Matching wetties! Probably one of them instructor predators..

headhighoverheels
headhighoverheels
4 years ago

Loose lips sink hips that don’t lie, that’s a saying somewhere which means Nadal doesn’t have any room for such a voluptuous figure in his man-capris of a tight life.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
4 years ago

…breaking news…extra extra, read all about it…

It’s just been revealed that Shakira has had a fuckin’ tall ladder erected in her Spanish garden to enable a view of (her latest crush) Kelly’s birth state. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
As of going to print, it’s been reported that a stalk was seen growing near Kelly’s Florida home.
At this stage it’s unsure who actually planted the bean, but Conan Hayes has been known to engage in Govt ‘business’ nearby…

AI (for ever) .
AI (for ever) .
4 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

I’m thinking ladders might spell the end of the wave cam!

Why go online to check the surf when you could just climb a ladder?

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

translate? got 3 pesos/

Waterproof Polo
Waterproof Polo
4 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

From there, she can see the eastern Indian Ocean too!

Working Class Hero
Working Class Hero
4 years ago

That big Colombian booty probably looks amazing lying prone on a surfboard. Front side bottom turn as well. I remember when Alana Blanchard was on the tour, she had the best front side bt in the business.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago

The 14 yr old has passed away after being high fived to death by his friends…

ricmatic
ricmatic
4 years ago

tried “shouting up to the heavens for answers”
fixed my shit, wish I thought of it sooner.

astro
astro
4 years ago

I found psyllium husk improved my backside flow.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago
Reply to  astro

too much husk can reduce speed and power, tho…

astro
astro
4 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

That toilet bowl section can be rough, fo sure.

Hippy
Hippy
4 years ago
Reply to  astro

Full

AI (for ever) .
AI (for ever) .
4 years ago
Reply to  astro

Would make a suitable sponsor for Ethan Ewig , no?

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
4 years ago

BIG POINTS FOR THE WIDE STANCE AND THE GOOFY STANCE! I’ve heard since childhood that left foot dominance is sexy and edgy.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
4 years ago
Reply to  Picard Madeoff

with theraputic foot rubs, I can go either way…


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