First in, best dressed.
The war between me and Stab has, unfortunately, cooled off in the last few years. With comedically chubby nemesis Ashton Goggans and his trusty sidekick the Li’l Haberdasher apparently pushing off and a whole new staff of former Surfing magazine stalwarts, whom I greatly respect, taking over, the fun is gone.
I blame Stab, of course.
The joy that could have been had, for all, in an ongoing yellow’d fight could have been legendary. One of my favorite eras in journalism was the battle between Hearst and Pulitzer publications in the late 1800s led to an actual, literal war providing kicks for hundreds of thousands of otherwise bored readers during an otherwise boring time.
But alas and what might have been.
In any case, the aforementioned luxury surf blog has recently advertised a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to partake in a southern Mexico surf trip for the low, low price of $125,000 USD (not including flights and booze).
It can be split seven ways and includes a ten-board quiver of alternative crafts, for one, and filming of the entire session as a stand-alone cinematic offering to be shared at family get togethers at the other Hamptons summer home. The whole thing described as “summiting your bucket list and staring down at you, teasing.”
As a man of the people, neck deep in the blue collar art of ballet, it won’t be me. I just made myself a hot dog smothered in Grey Poupon for lunch but am also not doubtful that someone will spring. Kelly Slater’s Lemoore wave tank rents out for $50,000 a day and is booked solid.
Should it be you?
Furthermore, do you have any thoughts on the wealth gap?
Yes I’m sure this is all very interesting- but if you want to see how bad top end competitive surfing destinations get, have a look at Ballito – it doesn’t get any worse than this – good luck challenger people!
Grose.
need a bed spread/IDEA
https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….
Somehow that should be a piano, not a desk.
also, now understand y’all delta on gravvvy…whiplash!
Translation?
ben is behind the new sponge league, along with obrien…miles teller demonstrates the fury of that idea…cut to movie whiplash.
https://external-content.du…
Gotcha
2nd post, sorry…the PRTeam In contrast to the Chumash use of
such as
and
(jimsonweed) in ritualistic practices, there is no indication that the Chumash used any form of
, similarly to other
prior to
.being a shaman
Are we talking about Shroom Shamans?
left, on the rio grand/
Baby pulled her blue dress on
How does one of the cheaper trips one can take suddenly cost 6 figures?
I went there for 3 weeks in Sept/Oct of 2014 and scored every single day from the points in the arvo to the beachies in the am including Abierta which is basically like Puerto shorebreak. Crazy pits and brutal thrashings. Saw Curren get a 20 second tube there on a playful day, Actually hit my head on the bottom there on another trip when the swell was too SW and moving too fast. I saw the sickest left grinding down the beach and told myself “if I see another, I’m out there”. Sure enough I did and caught a couple medium ones and then saw the dirtiest mutant grinding sand sucking beast…only a little overhead but so thick and nasty roaring up the beach like a runaway speed train. So frighteningly tantalizing but such a death wish. I knew I had to get out of there pronto but the problem with this spot at basically any size is that you gotta make the wave or straighten out else you get sucked back out. So I paddled for what looked like a pretty benign head high wave and it went mutant on me on the drop. I went ass over teakettle and hit my head on the hard packed concrete sand bottom and came up unconscious. Luckily I was in the shorey and my buddies were able to drag me out. I came to when they got me on the beach and the back of my eyeballs felt like they were on fire. I had what felt like the whole stretch of sand behind my eyeballs. I’ve had countless surfing and other sports related injuries, including but not limited to broken arms, dislocated thumb trying to catch my board leashless in the whitewater on the wave behind on a 2 ft Salt Creek windswell day and my thumb was pushed up so far up my wrist that the lifeguard nearly puked when I begged him to pull it back out into socket (the 3rd or 4th of numerous dislocated digits), two 2 wave hold downs…one at Sunset Beach after being called into an “insider” by Tony Moniz when I was 14 only to get swatted like the featherweight I was and then getting held down for what felt like an eternity (probably only 20 seconds or so…at least tony was cool enough to patronize me by telling me it was a solid 8 footer), numerous japs to the face running my jibs to older guys as a cocky grom out in the water and later in the clubs feeling like the man with my fake ID trying to hit on ladies twice my age, too many skate injuries to count…but this was a pain unlike I’ve ever known. A stinging burning gritty sandpaper-rubbing the back of my eyeballs panic inducing pain unlike anything I’ve ever experienced including after full replacement hip surgery when I got a little behind on my pain meds post op and could feel the surgeon phantom hammering the joint out and cutting my femur 2 days after the fact…actually come to think about it that may have been worse. Point being, sand behind the eyeballs is a farkin screaming unlike anything I’ve ever felt. I could still feel the impact on the back of my dome for a solid 6 months after. Long story longer my “amigo mejor” Fido who runs Salina Cruz, got a full page spread in Surfers Journal going backside riding a 5’4 Dumpster Diver that he loved to ride as a twinnie on a full mutant at the spot that anyone who has surfed it knows that the most terrifying aspect of the whole deal is not the 30 ft “Pelican” rock that you have to paddle straight towards and make the drop if you want to get a real one but the little pothole sized rock that sits in your line way down the end of the point and if you get a good one that stretches down the point you pull in the barrel either from the get or in the middle section and you see that damn thing looming large right in your line as you sit in the barrel watching it get closer and close. Just like the big towering triangular nightmare rock that looks you right in the face as you take off but so much more seemingly benign…but if you pull in up top and/or make it through the mid to inside sector, you will undoubtedly be faced with that little bastard of a 3×3 rock barely breaching the surface taunting you to stay in the tube when in reality its a total optical illusion that you will pass by mere inches as long as you don’t fall in front of it or bail out of fear that you’ll hit it which is totally understandable considering the thing just farking stares at you as you sit in the cone going mach 90 straight at it. Such a wigged out optical illusion although it will ruin your trip if you either panic and/or fall in front of it…if you ever go to Salina Cruz and you want to be treated like royalty book your trip through https://marsurftours.com/ and tell Fido paisa Craig sent you. He is my hermano de otra madre y mi corazon and will get you into the best waves Tihuantapec has to offer. If you happen to score Chipehua, you will ride by all the dudes who went with the other guides and had to park as far away as Carl’s Jr is from Lowers x3 but like trekking through the Sahara in 120 degree desert death heat…Fido is the only one in Salina Cruz who the locals will let drive right up to the top of the point. Not only that but he will roll you J’s all diggity and is the coolest dude ever, especially if you try to speak Spanish no matter how badly you mangle it…anyway sorry for the novel…been playing poker all nigh and drinking which invariably leads to a rambling diatribe that no one will read. But seriously if considering going to Salina Cruz, go to the website above and tell Fido Craig referred you and you will have the trip of your life guaranteed (waves providing although no matter what the beachies are head high plus and barreling). If you want more info feel free to email me at wayvs at aol…yes I know I’m one of 3 peeps left on the planet w an AOL address but I’m always happy to set up good people down there bc its fucking epic and mi amigo mejor Fido will get you into the best waves in all of Southern Oaxaca especially if you tell him the paisa sent ya…
a friend in need is a friend indeed…also, as an escape artist and survivor…you delivered. and a a sharer of some of the finer POINTS in Mex. which have escaped ME…
did you win at poker? must have…cause a loser wouldn’t spill guts…simply drinking? want some of what you’re puffing Guy!
I almost always get my money in good playing poker in all-in situations but tend to get outdrawn a lot which is part of the brutality of the game. Over time if you get your money in good (meaning you have at least a 55% chance of winning or higher (I like higher obvs) in an all in showdown) you’re going to be successful at the game but you’ve gotta have the bankroll to sustain the inevitable bad beats.
I’ll listen to it later
How’d my marital advice go?
Actually better than I could have hoped. Tensions have eased slightly in the Pete household. Thanks again.
Serious, Dear Negatron?
Or do you consult the Greek chick and transcribe under your pen name?
The Oracle
Was it publicly published or private convo?
I could use some too. Although I know what mine should consist of: “enjoy being tired all the time and just get the fuck out of bed earlier and do more stuff, go to bed earlier”
Sounds like you’re on the same page as me. Damn it!
Never gets old
I’m offering a similar trip experience: 36 hours in Rosarito with a 3 board quiver of yellowed beaters, some severely stepped on Mexican meth, all fimed carelessly on Nokia flip phone. Price: $1.25*
*Does not include the cost of everything listed above
Hey Chas, Southern Mexico no longer exists. The direct hit by the hurricane a month ago destroyed the famous waves, may take decades to recover if at all. Very fortunate that the WSL did not schedule another event this year because it would not be possible.
This recent photo shows Chas asking a passing motorist for a mustardy condiment to smother on his wiener-filled bread roll… https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
its a clone isnt it??
I keep asking brother… when you harvesting that plant?
That was a few months ago
(Cured nicely)
How did it go? Looked good as you.
Fyre Festival!
Hot Stiff is trying to set off a feud between us in the BG comments and those fine yet unheralded journalists over at the Guardian. All this is happening under your very nose.
Cum feud!
No wonder you did not like STAB for so long. Gets bought out and Sam Mac makes a fortune and then he buys it back for virtually zip and seen to be surfing off into the Sunset with the hipsters in Byron
which should rankle Derek’s smooth as silk skin.
For $1250 I can give you three weeks in Mexico with a ten board quiver of ‘alternative’ surf craft I’ll buy off FB marketplace,
Every session filmed on surfline surfcams, all you can eat gallo pinto and enough cocaine to kill a small elephant.
Hopefully this includes a pair of yellow Speedos and matching beanie.
Can we pay in instalments?
Yes you can go on tic Pete
Thanks and, jsut while we’re working out the details, can we please swap out cocaine for speed?
Yes in with case the price drops again to $125.
Great! Might be able to cut repayments down to about 5 instalments in that case.
Omg, speed is grosser than steamed brussel sprouts.
I enjoy both
Cancelled. Bye.
In contrast to the Chumash use of psychotropic substances such as peyote and datura (jimsonweed) in ritualistic practices, there is no indication that the Chumash used any form of fermented alcohol, similarly to other indigenous peoples throughout North and South America prior to European contact.
You should change your handle to Carlos Castenada
prefer Don Juan…the teachings of…
so you pay later too? Im seeing a theme
Don’t forget the rucas!
There is no gallopinto in México… You would have to get it from FB too
If they aren’t including a yellow beanie for everyone to wear on the trip so they look like dickheads, I’m out.
Pick one Stab…..new tagline “Stab! We Like to Rip You Off” https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
The classic house style of fence sitting from STAB. Just own it fella’s.
Just let me saddle up my Dior board.