"Oh, thank goodness..."
In stunning environmental news it was, days ago, revealed that many of South Africa’s picturesque, wave filled bays have been cleared of the most vicious great white sharks by even more vicious serial killer orcas. Great white bodies washed up on shore sans liver or heart. Great white orphans mourning their kin.
Per a study in the African Journal of Marine Science, the great whites have abandoned their normal feeding grounds due fear and discomfort.
During the study, which was carried out over five-and-a-half years, 14 sharks have been tracked fleeing the areas when the orcas are present and visual sightings have dropped dramatically in certain Western Cape Bays.
“Initially, following an orca attack in Gansbaai, individual great white sharks did not appear for weeks or months,” Towner said.
“What we seem to be witnessing though is a large-scale avoidance (rather than a fine-scale) strategy, mirroring what we see used by wild dogs in the Serengeti in Tanzania, in response to increased lion presence.”
The removal of great white sharks will likely cause pressure on the food chain.
Now, of course I know that J-Bay is not a western Cape Bay and you may know that too but great white sharks are not as well-read as us, not really into the African Journal of Marine Science etc. so they might not and may be avoiding it altogether just to be extra safe.
You, of course, recall that J-Bay was site to the most famous single heat in competitive surfing history wherein a great white became tangled in Mick Fanning’s leash as he surfed against Julian Wilson circa 2015. Fanning was physically unscathed and the World Surf League, in its first season, breathed a public sigh of relief. Privately, though, there must have been many high fives and tight shakas for the incident is, by far and away, the most watched and talked about in professional surfing history.
Not that the WSL would like another brush with great white death but… ratings are ratings and that taste of real non-endemic sporting news and news news, oh so sweet. So much better than being endlessly prattled about on surf blogs, even wildly popular ones.
Just one more hit, daddy, with everyone safe, of course.
Please?
One of the great media spins of all time ,Fanning talks up a story about punching the shark , but go have a look at the footage , its obviously hooked a fin in his legrope , it gets untangled , fanning in a panic scrambles to get picked up , foward onto the beach hugging people in tears and no marks on his hands at all ,well let me tell ya if you have ever smashed a boxing bag without gloves you know you can easily skin your knuckles ,try that on shark skin and you will shred them , Fanning punching the shark is pure bullshit.
Are we sure it wasnt a bullshark?
Very, very fortunate, lets face it who else on tour now could beat up a great white?
You can buy gloves to punch up sharks now so I guess everyone on tour that has a pair
Is the wsl saying they planted orcas there 7 years ago post mick to prep for the event now? that some foresight there
can script this?
“And with five minutes left in this nail biting mens final we will now cross for an exclusive interview with the orca that so graciously cleared the j bay line up of those nasty bitey sharks for us. Orca, are you there?”
*confused high pitched screeching*
“Oh I’m sorry we seem to have got Shannon instead”
Is medina pulling out? Due to injury and/or overwhelming shark awareness?
…breaking news…
…a whole (small) potato has been found in a bag of oven fries for the first time by a person (me) with many decades of oven fry experience… https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
That is extraordinary. Maybe instead of eating it, plant it in the garden. Seems only fair as it managed to survive this far.
Beef & Beer & Baked Potatoes
Stop press. This is fucked up good.
I was going to post about due to budget cutbacks the WSL has halved the medical team it normally sends to Tahiti this year and wonder if that’s putting athletes at risk but , honestly, this potato in chips scandal is more interesting!!
True fact, oven fries create the worst smelling farts. I had to sleep in another room to the wife after eating them.
I don’t believe it.
You think it may have been “ planted “ ?
So… how did it taste? Was it a ball of potato crumb or an actual potato?
I don’t understand why this information was not shared.
Behind The Music, Episode Beavis & Butt-Head: The Show Was Blamed For A Child’s Death
In October of 1993, a 5-year-old boy set fire to his home which ended up killing his 2-year-old sister. The show Beavis and Butt-Head was blamed because of Beavis’s infatuation with arson, according to the mother. MTV’s solution was to push the show to 10:30 and remove all references to fire from the rest of the show. (Cracked)
Not a fan of arson or shark attacks or The Guardian or The Washingtom Post or New York Times or misinformation or censorship. But loved the gore movies: There Will Be Blood, Piranhas, Sharknado, even Jaws2…
Also just watched 1964 movie Ride The Wild Surf and want to get ‘stoked’ on surfing. How do I get started?
Uh, heyy baby.
Just refer to yourself as “the Big Kahuna” and you’re set!
baby dane, not great…yet!
Ever see the low key horror classic “Terror Train”?
no….and?
curiousity killed the cat…a true lie…
https://cdn2.aznude.com/ant…
wait till sea world “rescues” those poor free orcas
But, but ….. 1976
Forecast looking good. WSL may not be able to screw this one up.
Dunno, four days out and not a peep from them, usually implies dog shit.
JMD will find a way
Sadly those Orca’s have left a while back and the GWs are back in numbers. A swimmer was fatally attached in Plettenberg Bay 200km SW of JBay last 😳.
Viva WSL!
Can I get a link to the wildly popular ones?
more cowbell!
Careful, d00d… that sounds like an invitation to get rickrolled.
I’m sorry to inform, but you’re here.
Goddammit. Hurluley is going to launch a major lawsuit against the WSL for destroying our potential sales of Shark Punching Gloves.
Why would a shark want to punch anyone though? Seems to me they’d want to rely on their teeth first and foremost.
I’d use them myself and try to punch the shit out of a shark when I see one – like screaming and punching and trying to get away.
EDIT: added scream punch scenario
It’s admittedly a niche market.