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Zuckerberg (pictured) rock 'n' rolling.
Zuckerberg (pictured) rock 'n' rolling.

In bold management strategy, big wave surfer and Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg leans on vintage Quiksilver slogan to rally beleaguered employees: “If you can’t rock ‘n’ roll, don’t f*cken come!”

Surf-spun wisdom from the chief.

You, likely, know of Mark Zuckerberg as multi-disciplinary waterman, big wave surfer and star Kai Lenny’s BFF, but the world’s fifth richest man, and Kauai local, also happens to steer the online juggernaut Meta-cum-Facebook.

His company, based in Menlo Park, California has run into much trouble over the past few years. Accusations of willfully spreading misinformation, making a more toxic world, shedding billions of dollar in value etc. and its many employees are beleaguered.

Generally sad.

Zuckerberg, though, unleashed a bold management strategy on a call with them days ago, saying, “Some of you might decide that this place isn’t for you, and that self-selection is OK with me. Realistically, there are probably a bunch of people at the company who shouldn’t be here.”

Sound familiar?

Exactly.

The sentiment is basically a word-for-word reworking of Quiksilver’s iconic and vintage slogan “If you can’t rock’n’roll, don’t fucken come…” An absolute classic that buoyed legions of core fans while also pointing a very clear finger toward the door.

Smart.

Inc. Magazine was less bullish on the move, declaring, “The thing is, assuming that some of the people who work for your company don’t belong is a terrible way to lead. It’s also a pretty lousy way to motivate your team. Instead, you should always assume the best about your team. If you find yourself thinking there are people working at your company who shouldn’t be, that’s a failure of your leadership.”

But Inc. Likely doesn’t rock ‘n’ roll and probably shouldn’t come.

Proof will, as they say, be in the pudding and I, for one, am hopeful that Meta employees will take the charge as radical surf-spun wisdom.

Inspirational as the boss.

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39 Comments
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Steve Borst

Did you say Kelly Slater is the world’s greatest athlete? What have you been smoking?

tim_nelsen

make the effort!

https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….

Keith Grace

Zuck should’ve followed the advice from the old Gotcha ads…

michaelsanchez

The thing is, every job isn’t for every person, that’s how capitalism is supposed to work. If they hate capitalism, that sounds like a problem of their own creation. If they don’t like the constitution, they can also choose to live somewhere else. No free stuff on stolen land

Beef & Beer

As Scotland’s wisest man once said

…”it’s a long way to the shop if you want a sausage roll”…

FL Skunk Ape

These fucking retards are such try hards. He’s a pussy just like trump and his bloviating big talk – bunch of pussies trying to act tough. Would love to meet either or both in a back alley and see what’s what. Zuck would piss/shit himself at the same time.

channelbottom

Some people pay for that sort of thing, and you’re giving it away for free?

FL Skunk Ape

When the animal is unleashed, he shall not be seen. You only get the aftermath.

channelbottom

All I’m saying is that you could set up a piss/shit prostitution emporium and the GOP would flock there in droves. You’d make a tidy fortune.

mike m

Facebook is so yesterday, it’s practically MySpace.

Party Pete

What’s a Facebook?

JohnsKnees

As someone who works very closely with Facebook (I know I suck, scum of the earth) he is 100% right, they have some of the dumbest people working at that organization.

paulo de tarso

I dunno… but… everytime I read
the names Mark Zuckerburg, Meta, Menlo Park, automatically I create a link with Zach Weisburg, L’Inerzia (no, not the general property of matter, in Italian…) and Venice (no, not the Italian city…)…

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Chas Smith

Perfection.

FL Skunk Ape

I wonder if they practice their pocket shakas together.

paulo de tarso
paulo de tarso
paulo de tarso
Chief Hot stuff

Or the motto in The Guardian offices
If you cant do the hokey pokey you cant swallow our cum.

astro

You’ve got the knife out for the Guardian.
What’s caused this pogrom ?

Chief Hot stuff

Na, thats just the motto.its a great read.

astro

Spose youve already got yourself a selfie with Hoss face ?

Chief Hot stuff

Im not down with all the cool nicknames, whos that?

astro

Jacinda, dipstick.
She’s conquerated the US, Europe and now in Aus.
Signed treaties, big agreements and real big stuff.
Prolly going to give you fellas a bit of a talking to as well.

channelbottom

I like her! But I’m not intimate with NZ daily life.

astro

A manufactured spin doctor puppet. Only wants to be associated with good news. Will do deals with ANYBODY to stay in power. Goes into hiding when things are shit. Has thrown numerous people under the bus to clean shit up for her. Likely to get re-elected tho, coz there’s nobody else … Even if she loses its off to the UN or somewhere like that coz the world loves her virtue signalling crap. It’s Fucken sickening, mate. But – theres nobody else … oh apart from a bald headed white guy who has no answers. Used to run Air NZ is his claim to fame which is the same as heading up Lotto. Ya can’t fail coz the govt owns 51% and will always bail your arse out. Fucken joke. MMP politics suck big time. Oh yea, Iforgot … Be kind, cuntee !

Hippy

From afar, I think her response to the shooting was immediate and she took fire for the decisions. No one here has the balls to make those decisions, they all hide behind the big bad NRA.

And she’s adequately good looking in a country that lacks that certain population that makes sailors give up the thought of home.

From afar….

astro

She took no fire for the decisions. That was the easiest political claim ever. What’s happened with guns here after CHch is a joke. Gangs have heaps of weapons. There’s shootings in AKL damn near daily. Public sector would comprise about 60% of the total workforce now. 58000 new Government workers in all sorts of interesting new roles.
New government ministries that duplicate existing ones.
No-one voted for this. No-one. Fucken joke.
This countries too small to pay for this type of bs.
Best we can hope for is that the new fentanyl wave replaces P and the nutters all veg out instead of rage out in P madness. I’m not joking.
It’ll make Xis life a lot easier when he finally invades.

Chief Hot stuff

Oh yep, ive heard of her.
Deth cult extremist.

@surfads

Any waves at dee why today? I’m area but prob just going manly

Chief Hot stuff

Im in The city little buddy. Hustling up that money, can you wear a mask while youre here, ta
Queeny could be on.

@surfads

Manly had a few but not much ROI

Barrelled

This dickhead puts the “cringe” in cringeworthy. Isn’t this also exactly what Elon Musk said a few weeks back?

Barrelled

“But Inc. Likely doesn’t rock ‘n’ roll and probably shouldn’t come.”

Auto-correct isn’t always a good thing, unless your name is Charles Smith.

disqus_00d1gIXedO

I can’t e-foil so I don’t really feel welcome to come in the first place.

Chas Smith

Oh but you could. It’s liberating!

channelbottom

Is ‘E-foiling’ the vape of heroin / meth smoking?

Party Pete

I think that’s chasing the dwagon… sounds similar I guess

tim_nelsen

puff…


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