Zuckerberg (pictured) rock 'n' rolling.
Zuckerberg (pictured) rock 'n' rolling.

In bold management strategy, big wave surfer and Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg leans on vintage Quiksilver slogan to rally beleaguered employees: “If you can’t rock ‘n’ roll, don’t f*cken come!”

Surf-spun wisdom from the chief.

You, likely, know of Mark Zuckerberg as multi-disciplinary waterman, big wave surfer and star Kai Lenny’s BFF, but the world’s fifth richest man, and Kauai local, also happens to steer the online juggernaut Meta-cum-Facebook.

His company, based in Menlo Park, California has run into much trouble over the past few years. Accusations of willfully spreading misinformation, making a more toxic world, shedding billions of dollar in value etc. and its many employees are beleaguered.

Generally sad.

Zuckerberg, though, unleashed a bold management strategy on a call with them days ago, saying, “Some of you might decide that this place isn’t for you, and that self-selection is OK with me. Realistically, there are probably a bunch of people at the company who shouldn’t be here.”

Sound familiar?


The sentiment is basically a word-for-word reworking of Quiksilver’s iconic and vintage slogan “If you can’t rock’n’roll, don’t fucken come…” An absolute classic that buoyed legions of core fans while also pointing a very clear finger toward the door.


Inc. Magazine was less bullish on the move, declaring, “The thing is, assuming that some of the people who work for your company don’t belong is a terrible way to lead. It’s also a pretty lousy way to motivate your team. Instead, you should always assume the best about your team. If you find yourself thinking there are people working at your company who shouldn’t be, that’s a failure of your leadership.”

But Inc. Likely doesn’t rock ‘n’ roll and probably shouldn’t come.

Proof will, as they say, be in the pudding and I, for one, am hopeful that Meta employees will take the charge as radical surf-spun wisdom.

Inspirational as the boss.

"Gimme gimme gimme!"
"Gimme gimme gimme!"

Surfers shriek, burst into lusty sobs as French fashion house Christian Dior releases world’s first perfect surfboard for unbelievably low price of $10,000!

Where "want" and "need" meet.

There are wants and there are needs and the twain rarely meet but they did this morning when French fashion house Christian Dior released images of what may well be the world’s first perfect surfboard. The single fin mid-length, tinted a dazzling blue and featuring Dior’s iconic Toile de Jouy print was reportedly designed as a tribute to Christian Dior himself and as part of the house’s exciting Maison home decor collection.

Photo courtesy Dior.
Photo courtesy Dior.

Per early reports:

The Dior Maison surfboard is composed of polyester, polyurethane foam, fiberglass, polyethylene and three-ply lime wood. After it was molded, shaped and sanded into the perfect shape, it got its application of the house’s trademark toile. It was then polished smooth. You’ll spot the eye-catching motif on one side of the board and the classic Christian Dior logo on the other. A special travel bag comes with the board that has two hand strap options to make toting it to and from the beach a breeze.

A few things. Before you turn up your skin cancer-adjacent nose at the board being part of Dior’s home decor line, remember the very first commercially made surfboards, Swastikas, were made by Pacific Systems Homes which specialized in prefabricated dwellings.

A wonderful historical nod that even the grumpiest local can appreciate.

Christian Dior’s niece was also a notorious Nazi sympathizer in possibly another, darker, historical nod to the aforementioned.

The fact that Dior went for traditional materials, polyester, polyurethane foam, etc. another brilliant choice and the shape, we can all admit now, is right for perfect surfing. Effortless and chill. And imagine with me, paddling out to your local on your new Dior board. Imagine the heads that would turn as you stroked into the wave of the day, gliding with back knee slightly tucked, torso languid, letting the perfect shape do its work.

Imagine being queen for a day.

All considered, the price tag of $10,000 (US) seems unbelievably low especially when perfection is on the table.

Break out the credit card and give in.

Tyler and coach Kekoa Bacalso watch Pipe from balcony of Rip Curl house, "Yeah, nah, ain't going out," says Tyler. | Photo: Make of Break/Apple+ TV

Female surfers not good enough to have Finals Day at Pipe says WSL CEO Erik Logan in surprise pivot away from company’s increasingly fragile wall of positive noise, “(People ask) why don’t you just do it at Pipe? If I put it at Pipe I can’t do the women there!”

And WSL CEO accused of turning child surfers into monsters as they emulate heroes storming judging towers!

During the taping of an episode of Ain’t That Swell at Torquay during the Bells Beach event two months back, Swellians welcomed WSL CEO Erik Logan with a volley of boos.

It’s to the man’s credit he faced the hostile crowd and won ‘em over by shutting down Mick Fanning, who’d joined the pile-on by telling Logan he wasn’t into the mid-tour cut, with the withering coup de grâce, “I think Barron (Mamiya) would disagree with that, he seems to be doing fine.”

Now, Logan, an attractive fifty-ish man who adopted the “sexy cocaine cowboy” look ten months ago to much critical acclaim, as well as imitation, has faced his toughest critics yet, the podcasting duo of Jimmy Miles and Cahill Bell Warren.

On the latest episode of their Lipped podcast, Miles and Bell Warren walk Logan into corners hither and yon.

Bell Warren complains of children attacking judge in junior events because Logan let Italo get away with it and, well, what else are they gonna do but emulate their heroes? 

“I’m going to have more people storming tents because of you celebrating it!” 

The combativeness continues.

Miles is opposed to the idea of running Finals Day at Lowers for a second year running, positing it’s about clicks rather than crowning a worthy world champion.

Bell Warren talks of surfers doing “cutbacks to win a world title” and of being “put to sleep” by the latest event in Brazil. 

Logan fares well in the exchanges until this wild admission, 

“No one is walking into the final five. The five surfers who make it are tested time and time and time again. We’re sitting here, watching Saquarema right now and for you it might’ve put you to sleep, but the twenty thousand fans on the beach didn’t have a problem with it…”


“Look, to be fair, (people say), hey, why don’t you just do it at Pipe? If I put it at Pipe, I can’t do the women there. They just haven’t had enough time.”

Moana Jones Wong, you listening? 


"Wanna see my Breitling, kid? Hint, it's not on this wrist." | Photo: Steve Sherman/@tsherms

Greatest athlete ever Kelly Slater reveals gruelling length of surf sessions in sprawling interview celebrating $5000 watch collab with luxury Swiss brand Breitling, “We surf 30 minute heats generally, though I can surf up to almost 50 minutes at a time!”

And always travels with a knife! Who knew?

The 11-time world surfing champion Kelly Slater, shunned by the New York Times yesterday in its list of greatest-ever athletes still competing in their harvest years, has made a startling revelation in a sprawling interview to celebrate his latest collaboration with Breitling watches.

“Watches are important for me because of what I do,” says Slater. “We surf 30 minute heats generally, though I can surf up to almost 50 minutes at a time.”

Fifty minutes! Gruelling. 

Anyway, the Champ has collabed on the limited edition (1000 of em made) Superocean Automatic 42 Kelly Slater which features a vivid orange face and costs US$4900.

“…we started talking about watch designs, and I said, ‘Oh my dad when I was a kid had this orange-faced dive watch.’ One day for some reason after having the watch for 20 years he decided to buy a different band for it. And we went surfing the next day and it fell off his wrist and he lost it. He went diving a few days later to look for it and couldn’t find it. So it was a really important thing in his life. I forget if his dad gave it to him or something, but it was a heartbreaker for my dad. So the orange colorway on this watch is definitely inspired by that as an homage to my father. “ 

Slater’s signature Breitling watch. Pretty.

Slater also reveals he travels armed, “I always have a knife”, packs a head lamp in case of emergency and says he’s gonna move hell and high-water to get into the US Olympic Team for the 2024 Paris Games, the surfing being held at Teahupoo. 

“I’d be lying if I didn’t say it was on my mind. Because the location of the next Olympics is a spot I’ve probably had my first or second best results in my career — it’s in Teahupo’o in Tahiti. France is hosting the Olympics and they’ve chosen to take it down to Teahupo’o — I’ve won that contest like six or seven times. It would be really great to try to make that team. They only took two people from each country in the last Olympics, and they’re going to take three from a couple this time — including the U.S. I honestly think the qualification is potentially harder for me than winning the Olympics. If I can get in there I think I’d have a shot at winning the Olympics in 2024. And I’d be 52, so I’d be one of the oldest Olympians in that game.”

The interview wraps with an insight into Slater’s considerable environmental bona fides.  

“When I got into eating healthy in my early 20s, that’s kind of in line with the health of the planet. When Twitter came out, I got in this algorithm where I started following a bunch of people who were raising awareness for environmental issues, and I started to learn a lot more about that — especially in regards to clothing. I didn’t know the impacts of the clothing and fashion industries on the problems in the environment. You know rivers being dyed blue or red because of dye being used in clothing and the effects that has on the world. The desert in Chile…they’re just literally dumping untold numbers or acres of used fabrics and textiles from the clothing industry. There’s a big wasteland that they’re basically just dumping in the desert. It’s really wild to see. And most of the people who work in the fast fashion industry around the world and in factories, they’re not well taken care of, there’s not very good safety measures, they don’t have good working conditions, often times they can’t use the bathroom for like the whole day. It’s wild when you hear these stories. It wasn’t until I started following some accounts on Twitter back in 2008 or ’09 that it started to hit home for me. The thing that’s made me the most money in my career has been the clothing industry and I didn’t know much about it so I decided to start getting more involved. I started a company when I was still surfing for Quiksilver. We started a company called VSTR, and then when my time at Quiksilver finished I had already decided about 6-12 months prior that I would start my own brand, which was Outerknown. I started to kind of formulate behind the scenes what I wanted it to be, and social compliance was really number one, even ahead of environmentalism, though they’re kind of hand in hand for me.”


"Darth Vader eating raw dinosaur leg during a 9.2 magnitude earthquake is not quite as powerful as JBG at Backdoor," writes Matt Warshaw. | Photo: @_johnnyboy_gomes

BIPOC power surfer Johnny Boy Gomes, once compared to “Darth Vader eating raw dinosaur leg during a 9.2 magnitude earthquake”, slams World Surf League for ignoring his pivotal ’97 Pipe Masters win in best-of list!

“Now I’m speaking my mind and the truth WSL… I think Kelly (Slater) and WSL burned the tape!”

The Hawaiian surfer Johnny Boy Gomes, often cited as the best power surfer on the eighties and nineties, has slammed the WSL for ignoring his wild 1997 Pipeline Masters win in a recent best-of list.

“I’ve been keeping this in for a long time,” writes Gomes, “bcus I wanted to be cool and humble for my O’hana but now, I’m speaking my mind and the truth WSL. I can’t believe I’m the first guy in surfing history to make it from the trials to win it and still WSL didn’t even pick it as their top past Pipeline Masters winners list. We know the truth. I think Kelly (Slater) and WSL burned the ’97 Pipeline Masters tape… I’ve Neva Ask For Anything From Anyone but Let’s Do This wsl! Pipeline Heritage Heat Against Anyone or Maybe Even A Wildcard, Next Year.”

Gomes, who is fifty-seven and a grandfather, is described by Matt Warshaw as a man of “near-superhuman strength” and riding “in a tightly clenched weightlifter’s squat, with a ramrod straight back, leveraging his board into one massive turn after the other, and often riding deep inside the tube.”

In 1999, Gomes won fifty gees in the Backdoor Shootout, the biggest winner’s cheque in surfing at that point, and placed third in the Eddie that same year.