The stages of grief.
It has now been two full days since the World Surf League CEO was last seen. Erik Logan, in Tahiti for the Outerknown Tahiti Pro, had seemed in high spirits during the almost ten-day event run, taking fans on behind-the-scenes tours of the broadcast operation, donning the world’s largest lei before disaster struck.
At some point in the evening of August 21, Logan bonked his foot on the reef scraping some skin off its top. He could have been piloting a SUP, may have been surfing, might have been going for a snorkel to see the little fishies but was immediately taken to World Surf League deputy commissioner Renato Hickel and head judge Pritamo Ahrendt.
As the camera rolls, panning from Logan’s injured paw to Hickel’s grave face as he says, “We have Erik with his first Tahiti tattoo and he already poured some alcohol on it but we gotta go lemon, lime.”
The lemon or lime was applied as Logan squirmed, letting out whelps and spasms. Ahrendt, standing to the side and possibly not as concerned as he should have been for, as all surfers know, reef scrapes can become infected with staph and turn life and/or limb-threatening no matter how itty-bitty.
Directly after the procedure, candles were lit around the globe for Logan’s speedy recovery. Floating lanterns sent skyward with healing messages though panic began to grip as he remained out of sight for the entire day.
And now, with two full days gone and Logan still vanished, the public is beginning to both fear the worst and cast around for blame, which seems to be falling on Hickel and Ahrendt.
Was the deputy commissioner licensed to rub citrus on the wound? When he mumbled “…we gotta go lemon, lime” which one did he actually go and was it the correct choice?
Was the head judge certified to observe?
Denial turning to anger as the public begins to climb the stages of grief.
RIP.
He’s such a kook!
He’s kinda doing the knee out facebook sorority girl thing.
Nobody but you douchbags even understands this fucking tripe of an article. Its like you speak in some mixture of bro and redneck and you can fuck off
Thanks sweet marie.
Interesting (not really).
What’s possibly more interesting is the continued unexplained absence of Jessi Fatty Cyrus, and her non-attendance at both Jay’s Beach and Tayahoopaw’aw.
If I’m not mistaken she was last seen getting drunk in a Brazilian swimming pool about 6 weeks ago.
What has happened to her ?
Where has she gone ?
Will she appear at Trestles ?
There seems to be a large amount of potentially high-powered A-grade top-gun international journalism for you to investigate on this important matter Chas…
Absolutely.
Instead of ELo and Jonah Hill fluff, ad nauseum, this seems like the basis for a real story. Has JMD simply been fired? Did Dirk hire hit men? Is she in a new and tawdry ‘lesbian’ relationship with Sasha? The BG commentariat wants to know.
Hot tip..keep your hair short in the surf.
What hair?!?!?
Haha..I shave mine cause I can’t be fucked. Love to tell the bald guys at work that my head is optional.
“Is it ever gonna end?” (an impactful excerpt from current Nick C. feature article from surfline)
Tom: I get the nose on to the rack, silently cursing, then suddenly the ski feels oddly light. It slides forward into the rack without me even trying.
I look around, and there he is, Midget — lifting the tail of the ski, taking some of the weight off.
He doesn’t know it, but he only has a month left on this Earth.
“Thought I’d lend a hand,” he says, and smiles.
***
(Note: this is not a paid endorsement, but Midget struck a major E chord with his surfing…even in SoCal)
The Midget Farrelly Recognition Committee is conducting a fund-raising drive to help with creating and
placing a permanent memorial of Midget at his long time home of Palm Beach in Sydney. If you’d like to assist with this project, you can donate right here.
Theres allready one in Manly.
Noone goes to Palmy except rich VALS.
don’t let the sun go down on me, yet! they are still free, yeah? the sunsets?
https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….
Look for the guy limping in the airport.
I light a candle every night in hopes our beloved poser pulls through.
https://media0.giphy.com/me…
Please Elo, come back before we have to read another one of these.
Truly.
This dead horse has already been beaten to a pulp.
Bring back the sharkpocalypse please.
Renato actually think Lemon Lime is one fruit.
At least he went for it when it mattered in Tahiti, I’ll give him that. Can’t say the same for our friend Pip out there.
True
Tahitian limes, when ripe, look like lemons. Renato, as we know, is easily confused.
All citrus is green in Gmedland