Surfers looking to get rich quick flock to betting sites and throw money on Ethan Ewing, gambling that handsome Australian will continue storybook run and smash “emotionally and otherwise fragile” Filipe Toledo in WSL Finals!

Exciting!

But here we are, now, under two weeks away from the potential kick-off of World Surf League final’s day, there on the cobbled stone of Lower Trestles. Excitement simmering at a heat low enough to guarantee no premature boil over.

Magical.

And dislike or hate the new format, rolled out for the first time last year, wherein the top five male surfers and the top five female surfers after Teahupo’o battle it out for the title of 2022 champion, it does provide interesting storylines where there would otherwise be none.

The prohibitive favorite, going in, for example, was local Filipe Toledo who is the consensus world’s best small wave surfer. He leads the rankings by a large margin and headed into his backyard, only having to surf one heat, seemed a guarantee.

Except.

Toledo put on one of the most embarrassing performances in sporting history out at the aforementioned Place of Broken Skills, watching two elderly gentlemen trade bombs underneath his priority because he was too afraid to paddle. The emotional toll of the incident on Toledo became apparent when he vigorously defended himself on social media, blaming the judges for his loss and declaring he was “stoked” on his showing.

Yikes.

To add fuel to fire, World Surf League CEO Erik Logan, in a sit down interview with ex-race car driver Danica Patrick declared, “I like having people believe in things bigger than themselves. A lot of my pathology in my life had been you can’t, you can’t, you can’t, you can’t, you can’t. And what I realized is that I was proving something to myself but then what I actually realized is that the joy came from actually watching other people see things that they can’t see.”

I don’t know what that means.

In any case, Filipe is in the top slot, Jack Robinson right below him in second, Ethan Ewing in third. The handsome Australian has been a revelation this year, beating Robinson at J-Bay, gaining steam. He is currently paying 10 – 1 and only has to beat either Kanoa Igarashi or a relatively uninspiring Italo Ferreira, then Robinson and a very fragile Toledo to win it all.

A Toledo haunted by failure.

By a shame that would cause a man from another time to slice his belly open, letting his guts spill out onto the floor.

So, are you going to get rich or are you going to die trying?

Pathology.