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The man (pictured) with Disney security.
The man (pictured) with Disney security.

Man attempts to surf Disney World water fountain, gets tossed out of property by security for being “most uninventive, low, cliched social media leech since Dan Bilzerian!”

Harsh.

Central Florida’s surf community woke up rocked, this morning, when it was revealed that a man attempting to surf a water fountain in Disney World had been ejected by security. The “stunt” began to unfold around noon when the mid-20s-to-mid-30s-year-old tossed his yellowed egg into the fountain in front of Ron Jon’s surf shop and Lime Garage at Disney Springs and attempted to “paddle.”

He wore messy hair, floral trunks and a pair of binoculars around his neck.

Security was quick to the scene, removing the “surfer” from the property while onlookers gaped.

Disney watchers covering the story assumed the antic was an attempt to gain “social media clout,” the man to allegedly post a video of the fountain surfing to Instagram where followers could “like” and enjoy the zany juxtaposition.

Critics immediately pounced, decrying the scene as “uninventive” and calling the attention seeker the “most cliched social media leech since Dan Bilzerian.

Bilzerian regularly poses with busty models and guns, captioning his photos “Don’t trust your gf with me, chapter 93” etc.

Not highbrow.

Reports quickly leaked that the same man had tried the same performance at a nearby Hilton hotel. Surfers in the area are advised to throw a rock into his egg if they see him attempt to reprise at any local beaches.

More as the story develops.

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18 Comments
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lawless

As for the board, Illusion used to be OG underground brand back in the day in Cocoa Beach. Had a pretty big following selling boards out of a rental unit so Quiet Flight bought the brand to keep him from gobbling up all their market share.

Clearly this board is the watered-down “private label” variety after QF bought the label to shut it down. One of the best boards I’ve ever ridden was an Illusion chip shaped by Manny. This was back in the glass slipper days and the nose could have poked your eye out while you were paddling it had so much flip. Good times. Sad to see it all go downhill on all accounts.

Keith Grace

This guy has far more cred than the droves of golfers and trust-fund 32-year-olds on Wave Storms in New Jersey, at the very least.

Waterproof Polo

That crease is really gonna fuck his next fountain sesh. That shit is 3/4 broke, right between his feet too. Not good.

Twinnie

Was Machado was contractually obligated to show up for Ikea’s gorilla marketing event?

channelbottom

This guy is the hero that we don’t need, didn’t want, and isn’t a hero.

Ricky Spanish

In his defense, that fountain has a better left than Slater’s pool.

tim_nelsen

went to ana’heim’s d-land as a kid…was six tickets to ride the matterhorn, one tick for teacups, then tossed bits during the small world after all raft floater…

Sean Connery

The Matterhorn was 🔥

tim_nelsen

thinking of ya!
https://i.postimg.cc/zBd8wh…

Piskian

More Bilharzia than Bilzerian.

notsurfingtoday

Jonah hill, laying down the law in disneyland.

Beef & Beer

He probably started off by doing a bit of casual ‘Faith Hilling’, before getting involved with the more serious ‘Taylor Swifting’ scene.
Doesn’t appear to have gone so far as to try the potentially lethal ‘Oh Long Johnsoning’ though.
Maybe that’s next…

Return of the Samsung Board

Is that the cat??

disqus_00d1gIXedO

Pioneering a future wsl venue for finals day is never a winning proposition

ValiantScorn

He looks like someone that smokes regs, and burns back bowls with a bic.

tim_nelsen

Certification:
The Conservtech Group has completed a Preliminary Site Assessment (PSA) and Final Report for the Disney property and the water slide slide located in Orange County, Florida.

This is the conclusion:

Throwing eggs is not safe…in and around, Fountain surfing. Participant may get hit in the assand/or lose an eye.

Note: Disney Attorneys are also Zucks attorneys…some disrection should be noted that FloridaMan is a local icon. Also, where’s Paris?

Stick man

Ohh I see. I just thought that was an old photo from the Metallica/ Billabong collaboration…

Ricky Spanish

Billabong x Iggy Flop


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