Was this a hit?
Earlier today, the surf universe was shocked to learn that champion longboarder Joel Tudor had been brutally assaulted at his home break. Surveillance video appears to show the Duct Tape Invitational creator and style master being repeatedly beat on his knees, torso and buttocks by an alleged out-of-control stand-up paddleboarder’s naughty paddle.
As surf violence is on the rise, initial response to the disturbing video centered on the viciousness the SUP pilot intended to mete out on Tudor’s buttocks but has since turned to questions of why.
Who would do such a thing?
Wait.
Who would do such a thing?
Tudor had well-publicized beef with the World Surf League, earlier this year, wherein he called the home of professional surfing out for its performative equality and etc.
After a series of other hammers, the iconic longboarder and sitting world champion, was unceremoniously suspended, indefinitely.
Well, as it turns out, the World Surf League CEO is a notable SUP pilot and…
… oh stop. I am not presuming anything, here, just wondering.
Was this a hit?
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Living close to a reliable beachie will be the only remedy
Pity the paddle did not beat Joel Tudors massive ego.
Hiking the John Muir Trail was my favorite road trip. And anger is the one thing I lack but I wanna thank you for your diagnosis. So now, back to my point: the future is coming. It might, after all is said and done, be a massive green washing. But will it be better than the current complex of Industrial Revolution technologies dominating global energy production and consumption? I hope so. It’d be mighty cool not to have “my oil” under “their soil” so I can drive to Sacramento in a day. My brother served in Iraq post-9/11 in 3 tours. At the time, Humvee H2s were popularly driven across the SoCal scene. He advised me that he and his Ranger crew wanted us on the home front to plaster “10 MPG, 10 soldiers per day” bumper stickers on such vehicles while they foraged Iraqi dumps for scrap metal to weld onto the bottom of their service-variety H2s as they patrolled Fallujah.
Imagine renewable energy (oh wait you don’t have to, it’s real, it’s out there, as is the technology to implement it at scale). Imagine massive carbon-based fuel interests and the utilities/grids tied to their methodology. Imagine they’ll all be gone by 2035, and then you can manifest your 300 plus miles in a single trip destiny. Shit, imagine 122 years ago trying to do your Baja or Big Sur trip in a day. Horses and feet couldn’t carry you that far. But look what advancements in tech have wrought! It’d be a mighty foolish bet to assume the next 13 years will experience a massive fall-off in the evolution of energy and transportation. 2035 is coming. Alternately powered vehicles are too. Will it be the markings of a green revolution? Likely not. Will it be better than fossil fuels being excavated and burned so the global rich can make it 300+ miles in a single drive? Quite likely
China today burnt more coal than any other day before.
Its all gunna get used until its all gone, bet.
sounds amazing, bet.
in leiu of a BG tent with a sound system, a boombox will play Flight of the Valkyries initially, then whatever walk-up songs the finalists want…a few suggestions:
FT: flight of the bumble bee
KI: battle hymm of the republic
IF: the girl from iponema
JR: anything from midnight oil
EE: anything from the Gibbs bros
or Cotton’s Pt to raid the boxes marked classifed left behind by tricky Dick and John Severson
earliest childhood dream was being able to ride my horse, with board under one arm, and a doobie in the other from my hilltop cabin…many quarters in pocket and quality food vending machines along the route…to a bay with perfect rights & lefts…
may still buy that horse ’cause I got everything else!
NONE of this crap would be happening if Ben Marcus was policing the line up.
Aussie sharky bitey:
https://www.theguardian.com…
Sharks so last year.
Do you know who supplied the ‘well-publicized beef’ that Tudor had with the WSL ?
It could be a good contract to have if they continue with it.
Can you get me their number ?
last call for alcohol////
https://youtu.be/qVA8XEPZ3gk
Sorry DSS, but I cannot take them in the least bit seriously.
then, I won’t watch it later…
I really hope Elo has enough sense to purchase several of these super handy items. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
13 knots? NO CRIME!
The jab seemed almost effeminate or maybe passive aggressive. Jabbed him very “lightly,” ala Chas. I don’t like that wingspan advantage those SUP pilots have. Amazing he can share the stage with Tudor. No longer the Sport of Kings. Egalitarianism, democracy, etc.
Ninja weaponry will almost always beat hand to hand combat Joel
Yikes
Beach grit has less life in it right now than a trannys inverted dick pussy .
Oxygen!!!!
Stay safe, buy coal and gas.
de-knob ’em all!
Chas is the King of Klickbait, the Master of Malarkey, the Boss of Banderdash. Every time you think he’s reached a new low, he manages to dig deeper yet. His dedication to the extravagant is impressive.
I wonder if sometimes, DR wakes up and thinks, “What did Chas accomplish over the night?” and pulls up BG, sees 3 to 5 Chasisms published, and gets impressed.
bard of bullshit…
I’m thinking about getting a cat
Start with a lil pussy
Get a pitbull and be overly careless with it, and walk around like your invincible. That’s the latest pet thing these days…….
Thats been a thing since time immemorial in certain parts of CA the whole state over.
Far out, man.
You touch one janitor, you touch all janitors
Future never
What a record.
Makes you wanna live!!!!
Rock on Newy
Oh is it good? Haven’t listened yet. Prob won’t at all tbh but still somehow glad you enjoyed
Poor kid.
Lottsa Sarges in the bizz
in keeping with the times, the 6-foot spacing should be extended to 1 mile…
I hope this article is a based on the top comment from the previous Joel Tudor article.
It has all come full circle.
Jerk?
Probably.