"Summer in Cardiff is special."
Surf fans, near and far, woke up to shocking images, this morning, that appear to show Joel Tudor being brutally assaulted at his home break of Cardiff-by-the-Sea, California by a man riding a stand-up paddleboard. The apparent attack occurring during a recent small to average run of swell was all caught on camera.
Tudor can be seen taking off near the peak of a left that the SUP pilot must have considered a right. The multiple-time longboard champion gamely crosses over the SUP’s tail while its pilot appears to grow enraged, swinging his deadly paddle at Tudor before falling into the soup.
Not satisfied, he remounts his steed, getting to his knees, and paddles after Tudor as he is returning to the lineup, attempting to vigorously spank those offending buttocks.
Tudor simply captioned the post “Summer at Cardiff is special.”
The SUP pilot, unnamed, must be a brazen sort for Tudor is well-known to be highly trained in Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Do you think his mastery allowed him to resist the temptation for a choke out?
Do you recall when Bruce Lee declared, “You’re the one with the big mouth, and I would really enjoy closing it, especially in front of all my friends. But my hands are registered as lethal weapons. That means, we get into a fight, I accidentally kill you? I go to jail,” in Quentin Tarantino’s “Once Upon a Time in… Hollywood?”
A similar sentiment?
More as the story develops.
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Fairly soft spanking by Aussie standards, merican rage !
sue , sue, where’s the police/ lawyers !!
I mean assault now our beloved Joel could have traumatised/ hurt/ etc????
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could have just farted in his general direction, same effect
The Bruce Lee of Instagram comment sections.
What a CUNT!
I thought Joel was the rarest of jewels, a BJJ-gilded Rastafari
That exchange sums up the surf scene in SD perfectly.
“Save it for the Kumite” -Frank Dukes
It’s a rival sensei from a rival dojo to Joel’s Surf Fight dojo. They are going to make a movie about it called Kook Kid
It’s been a Cruel Summer, a cruel, cruel summer
Totally justified given the pumping surf.
It’s a matter of life-n-death. Gotta regulate.
Joeljitsup
Common Assault at its least.
Choosing between a sweeper or Tudor is almost as hard as choosing between Maroon 5 or Coldplay. It’s a lose lose proposition.
no women,no paddle, no cry…I think I need a new hobby. This homoerotic-adjacent lifestyle, seems to be less and less adjacent, with each day that goes by.
Could have been any of us.
Longboarding, wrestling sweaty men, and being paddle spanked is a lifestyle.
You are speaking from experience?
Yes, minus the longboarding and wrestling part
I wish my parents spanked me like that growing up. Would have had a lot less bruises.
just pick one and stick with it!
An assassin hired by Elo to shut Joel’s mouth for good?
The story has developed!
If so, he’s not very good at his job. Just the kind of person ELo would hire.
Too much frothy overload clouded the mission.
or, maybe it WAS Elo on the SUP and corporeal punishment via a paddle spanking is one of the conditions of Joel’s suspension. Kinky indeed…
so, an ass assin ass aulted his ass?
can’t help hearing this in bostonian sibilant accent…
“appears to grow enraged, swinging his deadly paddle at Tudor before falling into the soup”
“he remounts his steed, getting to his knees, and paddles after Tudor as he is returning to the lineup, attempting to vigorously spank those offending buttocks”
Those might be some of the most overly exaggerated quotes you have written Charles. Looks more like a love tap.
That’s…the joke