“I’m in tune with what the community is saying…people were very judgemental on how he surfed,” responds the one-time Cocaine Cowboy lookalike CEO.
This time tomoz, logic points to world number one Filipe Toledo, a Brazilian ex-pat who now calls San Clemente home, being crowned world champion at Lower Trestles.
His challengers, Jack Robinson, Ethan Ewing, Italo Ferreira and Kanoa Igarashi, will have to summon the sort of superhuman reserves of stamina usually only found in churchgoing women with plastic vibrating dildos, as well as an inconceivable leap in performance to match the world’s best surfer in waves three feet and under.
But there’s a hitch, a caveat to Toledo’s forthcoming glory.
The Brazilian, who is twenty-seven, has come under fire in recent weeks following his historic failure to catch a meaningful wave at pumping six-to-eight-foot Teahupoo.
As Chas Smith reported at the time,
Slater, barreled, unable to contain smile.
Hedge, barreled, unable to contain smile.
In the dying seconds, the King of Saquarema swung on a baby tube then punched board in channel.
Seven years earlier, Toledo had sat through an entire heat with Italo Ferriera at Teahupoo without catching a wave, the world’s largest surf news site describing it as “a brave act of cowardice.”
Now, the WSL’s CEO Erik Logan has addressed pro surfing’s elephant in the room on The Boardroom Podcast with Scott Bass.
There’s a little back and forthing between the two about Finals Day, Logan pointing out that if it didn’t exist “Filipe would’ve won his world title in a house or sitting on the beach at Teahupoo after the elimination round after someone else lost.”
What follows is an explosive exchange between the pair when Bass, despite adding a bank of caveats to his question, oh I love Toledo etc, says, “If you watch that first heat of him surfing at Teahupoo, you’re kinda like, Is that really my world champion? Am I really gonna put on a Filipe jersey? Am I feeling that.”
In a final spasm of honesty, Bass adds, “When you look at the Vans Pipe Masters, guess who’s not gonna get an invite, Filipe Toledo !”
Hot!
Logan, potent as ever, tries to douse the flames.
“I think, to be fair to Filipe, certainly, again, I’m in tune with what the community is saying, I read too much, people were very judgemental on how he surfed. The counter to that is, he went out and surfed good in his next heat.”
Logan then applied the Chris Cote argument, that Toledo wasn’t terrified at all, but as cunning as a fox.
“The reality was, he was the number one surfer in the world and he’s playing the long game, he’s playing the game of, ‘I’m not throwing myself over the ledge and potentially getting hurt.’”
Toledo’s thinking, theorised Logan, was, “I have the number one seed and people are having to come to me, which is going to be four-to-six at my home break. Come get me.”
“As incredible as he is at Lowers, I feel there will be a lot of pressure on him this year at Lowers and a lot of people chatting about what we just brought up, about his performance at places like Pipeline and Teahupoo and if you look at past world champions, you look at John John and Gabriel and Kelly Slater, they are all incredible surfers at Teahupoo and Pipeline… to be the world champion, you have to perform in all the venues.”
Click here to listen, Toledo comes in at 1:24:22.
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WSL Judging Criteria
Commitment and degree of difficulty, Innovative and progressive maneuvers, Combination of major maneuvers, Variety of maneuvers, Speed, power and flow
Not far behind Toledo at Teahupoo was Quinoa Lite in contrast to Colapinto. Griff blew Quinoa out of the water on Commitment alone. Quinoa was pathetic in Finals too.
J. Currie: “There’s some kind of hair in my coffee cup…”
DR: “church-going…plastic dildos…”
WSL: “Groms start plucking those pubes/”
Chas/Dez I’m all up for supporting your perverted website. Navigating in a sea of pop-ups, being spammed all the time, sex-botted, etc, but please, don’t expect me to endure a 2 hour podcast with elo.
“Always”
Let’s fucking hope not.
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wanted: WSL needs spotters…CB, apply here.
Elo tickling us with his affected poor grammar.
I’d respect you far more Eric if you’d just say “Yeah, Filipe did not really come to the table in that event.” or some other semi mealy-mouthed work-around.
He needs to be more Dana White’esque?
Dunno.
Never watched the guy, if he’s “honest” then yeah.
I think he was just tired from planting trees too save the environment.
I’m so freaking sick of hearing wtf Elo thinking. I can’t give a fuck what a mid west , middle aged ,new to surfing , walking advertisement is thinking !
If there are so many surfers stories in the wsl why is Elo always the one talking?
Where the fuck are the surfers???
Someone needs ask pip directly wtf is in his head or his titles are going to the 4ft and under champion trophy cabinet no one looks at and he will be quickly dismissed as an unworthy champion of surfing no matter what he puts on his resume.
Special shout out to Damian hardm….forgot his last name! He knows the fear pip feels looking at decent waves.
don’t ever , ever forget Pips wave at J-bay…greatest wave ever surfed in a heat…and it was 10-12″ Surfline size……..
I mean all this dribble about surfing bigger waves and you have to be able to surf 10″ plus waves, WTF?
I gotta mate called RCJ , who I would call a big wave surfer , anything under 20′ ( when Waimea closes out size!) he’s still yawning until a big wave comes thru…so relative to real big wave riding…how many world Chumps would go surf….ah, bigger waves????
2017 j bay Filipe showed hes the best surfer in the world. Smoked Jordy in their early morning quarterfinal heat in perfect point waves. Stylish and powerful.
If he would have just caught a couple bombs in that heat with Kelly and hedge we could all truly celebrate his title today
health & safety first these days…when WSL gets to the point of sub-scribing “don’t try this at home…” let me know.
40 years on and some of us maniacs are still alive…
bless the teachers and the lifeguards and the guy in the corner with the paper bag…and a neighbor with an electrical outlet!
What would be interesting is the top 5 lowest scoring heats ever in the WSL. From memory Bryce Ellis failed to catch a wave in the Billabong Pro. Numerous women at Chopes one year failed to catch a wave. There would be other men for sure.
Sunset was once the wave to prove yourself on. Bass endlessly talks about it’s importance to being on the tour and if you can’t do it there you aren’t a real champion. Of course then he contradicts himself instantly by rightfully holding Kelly up as the greatest champion (completely ignoring Kelly’s shortcomings at Sunset). So Toledo isn’t courageous in heaving lefthand slabs. O.K., but he is still the best competition surfer on tour this year by a country mile. As Strider said following ADS’s championship – “don’t hate the player, hate the game!”
You don’t have to hate either, just ignore them and they go broke and disappear.
Hate is a waste of energy in an little thing like pro surfing!
But Adriano literally moved into Jaime o’s house for 2 months and dedicated his life to improving at Pipe. All we ask is Felipe show a fraction of that desire
He beat Ivan Florence twice this year at all time Pipe!
I’ve definitely decided to get a cat, the question now is should it be a kitten or a rescue cat?
Rescue Kitten
Anti-depressive!
Hey, Okie
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But he has a lion on his chest. Surely that means he’s hardcore?
That’s why I never got one
Guru Ghand-E-Lo commands you to look deep into his eyes and BEELIEEEEVE his all-knowing wisdom
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Guru Ghand-E-Lo commands you to look deep into his eyes and BEELIEEEEVE his all-knowing wisdom
Guru Ghand-E-Lo commands you to look deep into his eyes and BEELIEEEEVE his all-knowing wisdom
Ad infinitum…
Nice one Beef. Looks like the hippy love child of mesmeric Indian spin bowler Bishan Bedi.
Beautiful work B&B. I think you have a future as a painter. Gorgeous palette.
How could anybody divorce this guy?
More about these church going freaks. Less about Flips clit.
I reckon Pip is packing a beautiful cylindrical caramel circumcised schlong, not a fold of skin out place. Balanced testes and not unruly or neither overly manicured pubic foliage. He love’s it and will not have it dirtied up via dragging across a jagged reef.
Jack has a bulbous member that’s sturdy and thick in the middle with protective heavy duty sheathing on the tip. It’s up for adventure. Innocuous during polite daytime hours it comes out at night or other appropriate times and rises to any occasion. Never overstayed it’s welcome and is always invited back.
There’s your fucking power ratings cunts.
Haaa suitably gay. Upvote.
Gotta keep out the homophobic riff raff xox
should we be worried or infatuated with a review about athletes schlongs , do you dream/ponder or fantasize about cylindrical, caramelized/ bulbous, thick knob??
I do not dream of such things haha. I just find it really really funny and do often ponder the psychological advantages and disadvantages of how men carry themselves in relation to their anatomy. I can wonder about this aloud being very confident with my sexuality. I laughed properly for the first time in a while reading you re-type these depictions. In short Jack has a blue collar working mans schlong and Pip has his on a pedestal. Have a good red for me, I’m ten weeks without a drop. Hopefully I’ll be dispersing the La Gravierre crowd whilst nude in couple of weeks.
La Gravierre..no banks…but the nude beach is worth hanging out …..
Heck yeah. That joint will put a horn on a Jellyfish.
Dude! Hilarious
Schlong surfing news is the next BJJ over here. Just wait.
1. Filipe sits for 30 minutes at a tropical reef break, that people save for years and spend thousands of $ to get to, to catch waves. (Or, they’re Nathan Hedge.) Yeah, that makes sense. That’s like saying “He qualified for the NBA finals, so in the last game of the season, stood in the corner all game and didn’t dribble because he didn’t want to sprain his finger.” To finish the analogy: in the latter case, people just don’t suit up. Why fly around the world to bob around in the water, if it was tactical? Which brings up point # 2:
2. To quote: “Toledo’s thinking, theorised Logan, was, “I have the number one seed and people are having to come to me, which is going to be four-to-six at my home break. Come get me.””
In short, ELo is admitting the final event is held in weak, average surf, at an average break. So much for the excitement of the best, having to prove themselves as a champion, in champion-worthy conditions.
3. In conclusion, what a fucking tool
4. And since you “read too much,” ELo–see #3 above. Prove us wrong–come get us.
New model, the Mortal Combat model: Move the final event to a left hand reef i.e. cloudbreak, chopes. Top 5x surfers get to go against 10x old retired/free surf barrel specialists, last round is against Kelly. Whoever survives all rounds gets to become world champion, if nobody survives then Kelly is crowned champion.
It’s like Bruce Lee’s Game of Death! I like it
I agree/disagree on different fronts.
1. Flip had no reason to go hard at Chopes. Going hard and injuring himself would’ve been stupid.
2. E-Lo saying as much just shows how dumb the format is. He’s literally saying, yeah you can just tactically tank an event if you’re number one so you can save yourself. I’m sure the sponsors love hearing that.
3. Your NBA analogy doesn’t ring true coz it wasn’t the last game, or even the last series. That’s what Flip was saving himself for. So back to your point, why the fuck even fly to Chopes and paddle out?
The whole thing is a clusterfuck.
Make it best after 10 events. No throwaway events. No non-elimination round. Every heat counts.
“stamina usually only found in churchgoing women with plastic vibrating dildos”
And this Gents is why we are here