Rumor: North Shore locals “bitterly opposed” to re-imagined Vans Triple Crown format as it perpetuates ugly economic inequalities, slapping working-class surfers directly in the face!

Haves vs. Have Littles.

Last year, or maybe the year before (who really knows anything anymore in these the Covid/Post-Covid years of our lives), surfing’s iconic Triple Crown was re-imagined. Previously, it was a simple but wonderful formula. The surfer holding highest combined event results from Haleiwa, Sunset and mighty Pipeline was crowned and there, by the grace of God, went we.

Things changed, though, thanks to the aforementioned lung disease and it was turned into a video submission thing wherein, I guess, surfers enter their best clips from each wave and get voted upon (?).

Equal opportunities for all!

Or are there?

A well-placed source with a finger on the North Shore pulse has declared that majority of locals are “bitterly opposed” to the new format.

“The elite guys have full-fledged production teams with two to three Red cameras on land and drones covering every blip but the average guys can’t afford full-time teams so feel it’s unfair, skewed, impossible and a waste of time chasing. At least in a contest it’s a level playing field, but when it’s all based on video clips the haves vs. the have littles are at such a distinct disadvantage. There’s heavy grumbling.”

It makes very much sense but also causes me to wonder. Will Meta CEO and world’s sixth richest man Mark Zuckerberg toss his cap into the ring? Oh, I know he has fallen out of love with surfing but imagine what he could do with his production capabilities.

Win, I’d imagine, then hang it over ex-BFF Kai Lenny’s head like the world’s largest lei.

To the victor go the spoils etc.