Come get a piece of the South Island pie.

New Zealand surf identity lists epic beachfront spread near “the Rincon of the South Pacific” for under one million dollars!

"Is this your lifestyle dream?"

In that search for a corner of paradise, that little piece of dirt where a man or woman can surf and ride mountains without the crush of crowd, and with Australia and the US lost and with Russian nukes aimed at Europe, eyes point towards the lower South Pacific. 

And, here, in the little South Island town of Kaikoura, population two thousand souls, the surf identity Negatron, who is famous, notorious to some, for his ability to manipulate a hundred different opinions into one coherent narrative on the BeachGrit commentary stream, is selling five-and-a-half acres of prime beachfront land for under one million US. 

When I asked for a description of the waves, the divorced plumber wrote, “One paddock over a fence to one of the most consistent waves on the East Coast with multiple boulder bottomed peaks and a 10 minute walk along the railways tracks to a right point that’s been called the Rincon of the South Pacific.”

Why’s he selling? 

“Divorce the main one but less mortgage more living. Five acres is 4.9 acres more than I need in my life.”

Negatron says he bought twenty acres from a local farmer and split it with another surfing family.

The selling agent’s prose is a little more flowery. 

“Punching high in presentation where design & execution come together in perfect harmony…this special coastal location with the internationally acclaimed Mangamaunu surf breaks on your doorstep sets the scene for this incredible lifestyle opportunity in the most pristine of natural environments, a rare opportunity to secure a setting that is beyond compare with overwhelming appeal. The private position allows for picturesque views that encompasses the ocean or the impressive mountain range to the north, set in a natural native bush environment. 

“Set on 2.23ha (5.51acres) surrounded by approximately 15 acres of protected native bush of which 2.5 acres are encompassed within this property. A true rarity this close to the ocean on the east coast, it enhances the natural landscape & offers a sheltered oasis from any sea breeze. This is home to many species of native Flora & Fauna, a wonderful place to explore to the sounds of the native birdlife. If you are a keen surfer, the famous surf breaks are only a hop, skip and a jump away. This once in a lifetime location makes you have the sense you are somewhere truly special, evoking the feeling of being on holiday permanently…is this your lifestyle dream?”

Examine a little closer and then buy here. 

Pete Davidson (pictured) in demand.
Pete Davidson (pictured) in demand.

Ordinarily placid residents of quaint San Diego surf town prepare for “paparazzi apocalypse” after famous first daughter Emily Ratajkowski revealed to be coupling with Pete Davidson!

First Brad Pitt, now this.

Encinitas, California, some thirty minutes north of San Diego and hugging the Pacific, is not used to much buzz. Residents enjoy waking up early, riding electric bikes down to Swami’s cafe for breakfast, or, if time allows, Pannikin coffee. Maybe going to drink a craft IPA at The Bier Garden after a little healthy pilates. A paddle at D Street or Seaside might follow, depending on Rob Machado’s whereabouts, before the sun is watched setting with many ooohs and aaahs about the gorgeous pastels.

Simple folk, living simple lives and, thus, not prepared for the bombshell that exploded in their simple Outerknown S.E.A.-swathed laps overnight.

For overnight the news broke that famous first daughter Emily Ratajkowski who graduated from San Dieguito High School and sometimes shops at Seaside Market is, in fact, dating the world’s most desirable man Pete Davidson.

Per Us Weekly:

A new romance. Pete Davidson and Emily Ratajkowski are dating, Us Weekly confirms.

“Pete and Emily have been talking for a couple months now,” an insider exclusively tells Us, adding that the pair are “in the very early stages, but both really like each other.”

Both ended relationships over the summer. Davidson, 28, split from Kim Kardashian in August after 10 months of dating. Ratajkowski, 31, split from husband Sebastian Bear-McClard in July after nearly four years of marriage and officially filed for divorce in September amid rumors of the producer’s infidelity. The exes share son Sylvester, 20 months.

Sparks started flying when mutual friends set up the model and the comic. “Pete makes Emily laugh and he loves how intelligent she is,” the source exclusively reveals to Us.

Davidson, who counts Ariana Grande, Kim Kardashian, Larry David’s daughter Cazzie, and Kate Beckinsale as exes, has seen his stock rise incredibly over the years and there is not doubt that paparazzi will descend, en masse, upon Encinitas in order to snap photographs of the new happy couple.

Smashing into simple folk trying to enjoy a craft IPA at Modern Times. Blinding simple folk attempting to lick ice-cream cones from Gelato 101 in peace.

But how will these simple folk react?

Will they go to war against the shutterbugs like they did Arizonians many years ago?

Accept the spotlight and wear the fanciest hats when going out in an attempt to be discovered?

Currently more questions than answers.

To the victor... (Photo: SBIA)
To the victor... (Photo: SBIA)

Rip Curl bloodies mouths of competition, wins coveted “Sales and Customer Service Office of the Year” at tony Australian Surf and Boardsports Industry Awards!

Also Brand of the Year.

It was a night to remember for Rip Curl. The surfwear giant, last in the news for withdrawing sponsorship from sexy time Surfer (The Girl) competition, might have expected to do well as its team dawned Sydney’s famed Coogee Bay Hotel for Australia’s Surf and Boardsports Industry Association Awards, but not historically well.

Not mouth-bloodying brilliant.

The evening began with the Torquay-based brand nabbing the coveted Sales and Customer Service Office of the Year followed quickly by the Australian Account Manager of the Year (congratulations to Daniel Jenkin) before the dam truly broke.

Wetsuit of the Year.

Boardshort Brand of the Year.

Swimwear Brand of the Year.

Brand of the Year Large.

Six hefty awards in but a few glistening hours. Billabong gasping for air, clutching its only bauble, the Ladies’ Marketing Campaign of the Year (The Billabong x Steph Claire Smith Collaboration). Volcom dry heaving in the corner, trying not to soil its singular achievement, the Men’s Marketing Campaign of the Year (Welcome to “Beer’a’dise”).

Quiksilver escorted out of the hotel by security, lurching, spewing curses into the late spring air.

Entirely empty handed.

Industry watchers will certainly be curious as to how Rip Curl will lord the dominating performance over its rivals and also if Quiksilver, Billabong and Volcom might form an unholy axis of powers to destabilize the juggernaut.

Welcome to Beer’a’dise, Now Go to Hell.

View the glamor here.

Slater (pictured) on top of the world at the start of last year. Lined up for the gulag this one. Photo: WSL
Slater (pictured) on top of the world at the start of last year. Lined up for the gulag this one. Photo: WSL

In unmitigated blow to California and Hawaii, Kelly Slater’s hometown of Cocoa Beach, Florida named “best surf town in America” by respected travel blog!

Every rose has its thorn.

The World Surf League is halfway through a three-year deal to host its most famous, insanely watched Final’s Day there on Lower Trestles cobbled stone and, no doubt, San Clemente officials are confident of their place in the pantheon. Yes, the Spanish Village by the Sea is often considered one of the best surf towns in America what with its Trestles (uppers, lowers, middles), Andinos, Colapintos, Bioloses etc. Oh, Huntington Beach, just up the 405, dubbed “Surf City, USA” might have something to say about that and, likely, Haleiwa, Oahu, Hawaii too there across the Pacific but San Clemente has Final’s Day and that speaks volumes.

Though apparently not volumes enough for, hours ago, San Clemente along with Huntington Beach, Haleiwa, Santa Cruz, Princetown, Coos Bay, Kill Devil Hills, various Newports were stunned as respected travel blog ParkSleepFly dubbed Kelly Slater’s Cocoa Beach, Florida the “best surf town in America.’

Per Travel + Leisure:

The world’s best surf spots have more than just reliable waves. To get the ultimate surf vibe, you need warm water, plenty of breaks, and a nice long beach. And it doesn’t hurt if there’s a fun surf posse out in the water, too.

The travel blog ParkSleepFly took this all into account — and more — while evaluating some of the best surf spots in the U.S. The site considered natural factors like the number of surf breaks, water temperature, and the length of coastline in addition to social factors like the number of Google searches and Instagram tags. And Florida’s Cocoa Beach came out on top with a score of 8.32 out of a possible 10.

The long-time surf town beat out other spots like Waikiki Beach in Hawaii and Huntington Beach, California. And it made the win look easy. In Cocoa Beach, which produced world-renowned surfer Kelly Slater, the average sea temperature is a balmy 80 degrees, and there are 78 surf breaks packed in almost 12 miles of coastline. The beach is also trending online, with more than 3,000 surfing-related Instagram hashtags and 5,800 Google searches.

But as any surfer knows, a good surf spot is about more than good breaks and a cool crew. To keep the stoke alive, you need to eat and sleep — and if you’re a newbie, chances are you’ll need a lesson. Here’s how to plan a surf break (see what we did there) in Cocoa Beach, Florida.

But have you surfed Cocoa Beach? I’ve been, once, and went to the giant Ron Jon surf shop and also the Kelly Slater statue. The waves were sub-knee high (Surfline 5 – 8ft) during my visit and I didn’t consider paddling. Had I known that it was trending on Instagram, though, I might have thought differently.

Pop a bottle of… something to celebrate.

Slater (right) in a bad spot.
Slater (right) in a bad spot.

Surf fans go into mourning as dreams of fairytale reunion between Kelly Slater and Gisele Bündchen suffer gruesome dislocation by swank jiu-jitsu instructor!

Rear naked.

The sun rose on surf fans this morning but provided no warmth, not even in Cape Town where it is forecasted to be in the mid-90s or Puerto Escondido, Mexico where it will be the same. No, a cold grey pall hangs heavy in the air. A joyless fog obscuring any bit of good for last night images began leaking out of Gisele Bündchen out and about in Costa Rica, enjoying the pure single vida with a dashing man not named Kelly Slater.

As you know, the Brazilian supermodel and her husband of many years, Tom Brady, declared their union over earlier last month and surf fans immediately turned their eyes and hopes to Kelly Slater. Bündchen and the 11x world champion had dated for some portions of 2005 – 2006 forming up the most powerful couple since Kaipo dated Madonna and dreamers began seeing a return to Shangri-la.

2005 – 2006 just so happened to be the best years in surfing history.

Candles were bought, in bulk, lit, put on windowsills and fate seemed to be bending in our direction. Bündchen visited a faith healer, saged her car, traveled to Costa Rica just miles away from the Ayahuasca retreat center where Slater sits on the board. Only a matter of time before the paparazzi captured the two canoodling over a steaming breakfast bowl of gallo pinto.


Except, overnight, surf fans and our eyes, dreams, candles have been put in a rear naked choke hold.

Per Page Six:

Costa Rica is for couples!

Gisele Bündchen appears to have a new man in her life after her divorce from Tom Brady, stepping out with jiu-jitsu instructor Joaquim Valente on Saturday.

The duo grabbed a bite to eat at Koji in Provincia de Puntarenas with the 42-year-old model’s two children — Benjamin, 12, and Vivian, 9.

Bündchen showed her stomach in a cropped top and flowing black pants on the dinner date.

The Valente Brothers co-creator, for his part, was all smiles in a gray shirt and shorts.

While it is unclear when the pair’s possible romance began, Bündchen and Valente did a shoot for Dust magazine with his brothers, Pedro Valente and Giu Valente, in 2021.


While Slater does play jiu-jitsu as well, his bonafides have been directly challenged, in the past, by surfing’s great polemicist Joel Tudor.

Would Bündchen go for a questionable purple belt or once going black is it impossible to go back?

Currently more questions than answers though