Rear naked.
The sun rose on surf fans this morning but provided no warmth, not even in Cape Town where it is forecasted to be in the mid-90s or Puerto Escondido, Mexico where it will be the same. No, a cold grey pall hangs heavy in the air. A joyless fog obscuring any bit of good for last night images began leaking out of Gisele Bündchen out and about in Costa Rica, enjoying the pure single vida with a dashing man not named Kelly Slater.
As you know, the Brazilian supermodel and her husband of many years, Tom Brady, declared their union over earlier last month and surf fans immediately turned their eyes and hopes to Kelly Slater. Bündchen and the 11x world champion had dated for some portions of 2005 – 2006 forming up the most powerful couple since Kaipo dated Madonna and dreamers began seeing a return to Shangri-la.
2005 – 2006 just so happened to be the best years in surfing history.
Candles were bought, in bulk, lit, put on windowsills and fate seemed to be bending in our direction. Bündchen visited a faith healer, saged her car, traveled to Costa Rica just miles away from the Ayahuasca retreat center where Slater sits on the board. Only a matter of time before the paparazzi captured the two canoodling over a steaming breakfast bowl of gallo pinto.
Yum.
Except, overnight, surf fans and our eyes, dreams, candles have been put in a rear naked choke hold.
Costa Rica is for couples!
Gisele Bündchen appears to have a new man in her life after her divorce from Tom Brady, stepping out with jiu-jitsu instructor Joaquim Valente on Saturday.
The duo grabbed a bite to eat at Koji in Provincia de Puntarenas with the 42-year-old model’s two children — Benjamin, 12, and Vivian, 9.
Bündchen showed her stomach in a cropped top and flowing black pants on the dinner date.
The Valente Brothers co-creator, for his part, was all smiles in a gray shirt and shorts.
While it is unclear when the pair’s possible romance began, Bündchen and Valente did a shoot for Dust magazine with his brothers, Pedro Valente and Giu Valente, in 2021.
Devastating.
Would Bündchen go for a questionable purple belt or once going black is it impossible to go back?
Currently more questions than answers though
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No one cares
“78 surf breaks packed in almost 12 miles of coastline”
78 closeout beachbreak peaks that are rarely over one foot packed in almost 12 miles of coastline
Fixed it for you.
You’re in the wrong section.
Your best work yet!
Any surf fan who even imagined that Kelly slater and Giselle would get together are absolute morons, and people writing these articles are bona-fide braindead idiots. Slater has been with Kalani Miller for 15 years. He’s not breaking that off for Giselle’s old beat up model figure. She looked like shit in Costa Rica. Enough with these articles, it’s NEVER going to happen.
The heart wants what the heart wants!!
love the way this person writes!
If only they would stop using apostrophes to pluralize, as in “final’s.” Elementary.
art gettin serious!
https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….
The only thing worse than the waves in Cocoa Beach are the restaurants.
Costa Rica
When I saw the title of the article and the photo, I was sure it was Kelly who had fallen for the swank jiu-jitsu instructor.
I’m sending my unused candles too the Ukraine
Thoughts and candles.
She’s a 10 but a blue belt?
3
Pynchonian pop