Surfline Man feels so certain all the pro surfers would love him and help him learn to surf better. It would all be so educational.
Since we last saw him getting totally barreled at Surf Ranch, things have been going so well for Surfline Man.
Just last week, he scored such an awesome session right here in Cardiff. He didn’t even have to drive around in the Sprinter looking at like, ten different spots. It was just right there in front of him. Truly the best day ever!
Better yet, Surfline Man found an even better coffee shop than the Pannikin. The coffee is so good here! The wifi is so screaming fast, and he has the perfect view of the surf.
Surfline Man is so totally living the dream. All his chakras are perfectly aligned.
Right now, he’s sitting in his favorite new coffee shop, laptop open, working. Trey asked him to do some contract tech stuff, and although Surfline Man is totally over capitalism, he figured it was a good idea to stay in the game.
Maybe an awesome opportunity will come his way!
If he’s honest, Surfline Man is really just hoping Trey will invite him to Surf Ranch again someday. It was so fun getting super barrelled! Surfline Man wants to get barrelled again so bad. Next time, he’s totally going left.
Writing a little code here and there is worth it. Just sitting here, tapping out some code, drinking a matcha latte, it’s so relaxing! Surfline Man feels so zen right now. Chakras, baby!
Surfline Man hears his phone buzz. New text. He huffs a little at the interruption, but it could be important. It could be a surf trip or something awesome! Surfline Man sets aside his super perfect code, and picks up his phone.
Oh. It’s Trey. Surfline Man opens his phone and begins to read. As usual, it is a lot. Trey loves to text so much.
Trent! Buddy! How are things?
Getting some waves, I hope!
Loved seeing you rip at Surf Ranch
That was such a good time!
Some investor buddies of mine and I
are putting together a deal and
we want to bring you in on it
It’s such a perfect fit for you!
Surfline Man has never really been brought in on a deal before now. This sounds exciting and important!
There’s just one problem. Surfline Man does have some money, but not like, invest in crazy deals money. Hey Trey, not everyone gets the sweet equity! Surfline Man rolls his eyes, and continues to read.
We’re taking a hard look
at buying the World Surf League
In fact, we’re pretty sure we can do it
We want you to join us!
We feel like you will bring some
much-needed authenticity to our group
What do you think?
Surfline Man feels so light-headed right now. He has to set down his phone.
Buy the World Surf League! Trey called him authentic! Surfline Man has so many feelings. It’s all so overwhelming.
Here he is, just sitting in his favorite coffee shop, looking out at the ocean, writing some code. Then, bam! This whole thing comes crashing into his life, like a car crashing into a building or some other big, loud thing.
One day, you wake up and everything changes. Surfline Man, an authentic surfer! He can’t even believe it.
i don’t have a ton of assets available
don’t know how much i need?
appreciate the invite, for sure
So good to hear back from you, Trent
Yah, we should be alright on the money side
Got some high-rollers interested ha ha
If you can put up $50k it should be a-okay
I need to know if you’re in ASAP
Big investor call at noon tomorrow!
Hope you can join us!
Barrels at Surf Ranch every weekend!
Surfline Man sets down his phone, and takes a sip of water from his shiny new Yeti water bottle. So lightweight! Totally shatter-free!
Then he leans back in his chair, and stares at the horizon. He could be an owner of the World Surf League! Surfline Man tries to imagine his exciting, new life. He would definitely have to travel around the world to all the events. No question.
Surfline Man can see it now! Rocking up to Pipeline with a boardbag full of freshies — for sure, he would be getting free boards, due to his new, important role! Surfline Man could get so barrelled in the real ocean! Of course he would have to learn how to get barrelled backside, but he’s confident he could definitely do it.
Anyway, Surfline Man can’t be bothered with details just now. There are just so many possibilities! He could expand his horizons so far beyond Cardiff. Surfline Man only thought he was living the dream. Now he can do it for real!
For sure, Surfline Man would learn so much hanging out with all his new pro surfer friends. They would be BFF’s in no time at all.
Maybe he could finally master that awesome cutback he’s been working on for so long. Surfline Man feels so certain all the pro surfers would love him and help him learn to surf better. It would all be so educational.
All Surfline Man has to do is pay out $50k. His college education cost more than that, and really, he’s not sure it got him that far. He could be surf industry elite! Surfline Man can’t imagine a better use of his money. It will all be so, so worth it.
Surfline Man returns to the present. Here he is, sitting in Cardiff at his favorite coffee shop, writing some code. But he could be somewhere else entirely. It is all so seductive.
Surfline Man picks up his phone. He has no doubts now. He should totally do it. Sure, Trey is an asshole who laughed at Surfline Man when he sprained his ankle at the Elevate! company dodgeball game.
But if Surfline Man owned even a tiny portion of the World Surf League, he could travel the world and get so good at surfing. Surfline Man definitely can’t rest until he is the best surfer he can possibly be. It’s his only goal!
i’m so in
Surfline Man debates whether he should sign off with a shaka, but that might be pushing it. It feels far better to play it cool. Surfline Man’s brand is totally authenticity, and he’s pretty sure a real surfer would never sign a text with a shaka. As he hits send, Surfline Man can’t resist saying it, though. Shakas, bro!
I am so happy to have you on the team!
Looking forward to living the dream
It’s going to be so insane
I’ve come up with the perfect role for you
You’re such the real surfer!
We’re going to make you the
Ambassador of Stoke!