Boat man Conner Coffin, no hip-shaking fem-boy like little bro Parker!

Dumped Rip Curl surfer Conner Coffin who spectacularly fell off tour in “waist high onshore sh*t Winikipop” signs with fishing brand made for “risk-taking, mistake-making watermen with nothing to prove!”

"All of the times people have doubted me, said I wasn’t good enough, I’ve always channeled it and combined that with passion, hard work and love."

After a five-year tenure with Rip Curl, Santa Babs’ Conner Coffin, a boy whose over-easy haircut rivals Strider Wasilewski’s for lesbian chic and with looks so good you want to kiss his eyelashes, has signed with the fishing-cum-surf brand Salty Crew.

The tiny almost-thirty year old, who was a world title contender in 2021, signed with the popular underground brand created in 2014 by world champ CJ Hobgood and pals Jared and Hayden Lane, and who sold half of the biz to Globe three years later.

Salty Crew, or so goes the promotion literature, is made for “the hard workers, the searchers, the risk taking, mistake making, watermen with nothing to prove. For the seafaring, the wax sharing, the grommets, young and old. For the tried and true, who’ve paid their dues, for those who find refuge in the sea.” 

Despite his milquetoast appearance, Coffin has rarely shied away from controversy.

Following his cut from the tour last year, he savaged the World Surf League’s chief strategy officer in a wild interview.

Per Chas,

He describes how his tour fate was decided by “waist high onshore shit Winikipop.” How the waves were garbage, more or less, the first five events, crushing livelihoods. Dealing with the hatred, amongst his professional surfers, about the cut. “It sucked. I hated it honestly. Big price to pay…” he ends with as Prodan giggles uncomfortably, eyes wide, mouth, framed by well-manicured beard lightly agape, then tries to re-spackle the Wall of Positive Noise by calling this year’s G-Land “really good” before casting blame on magazines of yesteryear for poorly representing the early “dream tour” as all fantastic.

After the premium surf website Stab used “racist tropes” to describes Coffin’s chances, or lack, of winning the 2021 world title, he fired back, “Stab, thanks for your continued ‘premium’ journalism, you could spell my name right. It pissed me off for a few minutes, but then I thought about all of the times people have doubted me, said I wasn’t good enough, said I can’t do something that I wanted to do and how I’ve always channeled it and combined that with passion, hard work, and love to accomplish my goals. In posting this, I hope it encourages you guys to use negativity and spin it into a positive and don’t let anyone get you down or keep you from achieving your goals!”

Although the honied era of multi-million dollar contracts is long gone, surf fans can rest easy lest they be worried of his financial future for mammy and daddy Coffin , Rich and Krista, operate a high-end construction biz, delighting in “creating architecturally significant homes”.

The last time we saw ‘em on these pages was six months ago when they listed their one-third share in 101 acres of gorgeous Hollister Ranch dirt, a beachfront enclave that counts blockbuster filmmaker James Cameron, Patagonia founder Yvon Chouinard and minstrel Jackson Browne as owners.

The expected price for the pretty two-bed, two-bath guest house with separate studio at 115 Hollister Ranch Rd, Gaviota was a few shekels south of five mill.

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c4
c4
3 years ago

Give Ben another twenty four hours on here .

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
3 years ago

Flashlight

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago

needs a fish camp. surf camps prohibited!

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago

tents with cots rented by the hour? sub-leased by The Davos Group.

NvTruckergirl
NvTruckergirl
3 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

😂

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago

re: Jed Clampett, Conor C. & MSE
subject: empathy or not

world rocked/universe exploded…this just in. dateline VTA

googled a company three of us started in ’87. enviro-consulting (google that). today the company boasts 20+ locations. we started in a living room with one computer (Compaq). Year one we grossed 750K; year two: 1.2M. We then formed an LLC and I owned 10% in stock. (big mistake waiting two years as the family of one partner started managing.) I burned out after two years and fished lobster for a season, cashing in on my stock awarded me 6K. They wanted me back so I agreed, but lost seniority and new stock options. I left again. On very bad conditions…and carried on with other outfits. In ’96 a group from France bought them out to the tune of 10M (meaning my stock would have been 1M).

any whooo. for those of us complaining ’bout being rich/privileged I have no empathy…we all started from ground zero and should begrateful for any ASSETs we have, however one thinks that not earning or deserving is bullshit.

Jed got rich and had a tv show and employed 1K people. was he happy? yes, up until they pulled the plug on his show. then he had nothing. would i want to still be apart of MSE now. FUCK NO and fuck em from 30 years ago. No tears here in my 805 beer.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
3 years ago

Kill off Otto and LGR

Stick man
Stick man
3 years ago

Is it any wonder you’re not the president
Is it any wonder you’re null and void?
Is it any wonder you’ve got…

Stick man
Stick man
3 years ago

“All of the times people have doubted me, said I wasn’t good enough, I’ve always channeled it and combined that with passion, hard work and my parents endless supply of money”…

Stick man
Stick man
3 years ago

LOL

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
3 years ago

Should blame his perents for spelling his name wrong in the first place.

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
3 years ago

You need a 🔦

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
3 years ago

The vine on the left gives badges; the banana 🍌 on the right bans people.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
3 years ago

Nah no home for them, only if you search that person or just happen to see them on the merry go round.

Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
3 years ago

Do I still have to drink 808 orrrrrrrrrr….?

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
3 years ago

Only me and Derek can change the settings and the Mod Handle is in there

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
3 years ago

I’ve toggled the ban button on and off on Ben at least a dozen times. But he’s just a broken record. He’s currently on a shadow ban and has only posted a couple of times in the last few months.

Stick man
Stick man
3 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

a Ben-ban!

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
3 years ago

Don’t get too excited, you’ll see just how little deleting goes on. 95% user self-deletion, well except for today with me rarking Jackmeoff.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
3 years ago

Should be one marked moderate?

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
3 years ago

hit the three dots on the drop down menu at the top right of someones comment. from there you can see the action.

Stick man
Stick man
3 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Pardon my experimental flaggage kind sir… Lol

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
3 years ago

Done. Young Jackmeoff won’t like this… He thinks you and Otto can hack his account and access his computer.


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