Famous Los Angeles columnist telegraphs coming ultra VAL apocalypse, fulfills childhood dream by learning to surf at 70 years young: “Getting older is an epidemic. About 10,000 people turn 65 each day in the United States alone!”

Yikes.

Pithy newspaper columnists have all but vanished and thank goodness. Their musings about this, that or the other thing all wrapped up with nifty turns of phrase, dime store perspective, proper grammatical form and function in the service of feel good moments.

Yuck.

And The Los Angeles Times‘ Steve Lopez is no exception to that rule. He was written for the newspaper for many, many years, one of his columns becoming a Hollywood motion picture starring Jamie Foxx and Robert Downey Jr. and I’m sure is well respected but as he has turned 70, he claims that his real estate will be dedicated to musings on aging.

“Getting older, by the way, is an epidemic,” he wrote in today’s issue. “About 10,000 people turn 65 each day in the United States, and by 2035, people 65 and older will outnumber those under 18 for the first time. In California, a quarter of the population will be 60 or older by 2031. These trends will challenge and transform us in ways we’ve barely begun to prepare for. Housing, healthcare, the economy, the workforce and the design of cities, homes and transportation will all be impacted. Millennials and older people, who don’t usually end up at the same parties, could become increasingly dependent on each other…”

Etc. Etc.

All fine and well, I suppose, except for Lopez decided to fulfill his lifelong childhood dream of learning to surf at 70 (see photos here) and it must be assumed that these 65+ year olds will likely follow his lead. Will undoubtedly struggle into wetsuits, clutch at soft tops, whitewash ride straight into that burgeoning bucket list.

Is there any hope left for the grumpy local? The surfer who has toiled at her local through thick and thin?

Between Covid beginners and ultra VALs, it appears maybe not.

Though, I suppose, both can easily be paddled around. We shall really be in trouble when middle distance collegiate swimmers and/or water polo players discover surfing.

Forever a silver lining.

Always anti-depressive.