You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.
But right when you thought that Lupita Nyong’o and Selema Masekela had lost their spot as surfing-adjacent’s hottest couple to Strider Wasilewski’s brother Mescal and Full House darling Jody Sweetin, the movie superstar and her freshly-minted surf broadcaster beau go ahead and crank the burner to wow.
The Hollywood Reporter has revealed that the two just purchased a sprawling $4 million Los Angeles home together.
Hidden securely away behind a steel-gated driveway, on over two-acres of heavily wooded land resting at the end of a secluded one-way street, the contemporary steel, glass and cement structure is described as “self-sustainable” in the listing, complete with its own solar, backup power, home automation and filtration systems. There are four bedrooms and five baths in the three-level living space — all of it boasting floor-to-ceiling walls of glass offering up sweeping ocean, hillside and canyon views.
Particularly standing out is a living room sporting a fireplace and sliding glass doors spilling out to a spacious balcony, as well as a wet bar-equipped dining area. A fireside lounge connects to a gourmet kitchen, which is outfitted with bamboo cabinetry, quartz countertops, an eat-in island, and a plethora of top-tier Viking, Wolf and Sub-Zero appliances.
Congratulations to the happy couple but a few quick worries.
$4 million dollars for a Los Angeles home, especially one sitting on 2.5 acres of land with ocean views, is… hard to comprehend. Like, truly a near impossibility especially when considering top-tier kitchen appliances.
Further research suggests the home is somewhere off Topanga Canyon but sitting at the end of a one way street?
The happy couple could only have purchased the heavily distressed Hotel California.
A place where you can check in anytime but you can never leave.
Light a candle for their safety?
Chas first surfer/celeb couple to welcome a baby from all your shared couples. who will be next? https://www.dailymail.co.uk…
once you’re in…one can never leave…come hell or high water…Heaven is in our minds!
she has a backlog of films that I’ll never see…and no pre-nup!
Happy New Year, Jack.
Sal is as innocuous as vanilla custard pudding.
Do like the wardrobe change video.
Chick is very thick, IDK bout that.
To each his own.
Most importantly, why is this a post?
Surfing is so boring that there is never anything to write about.
mo money mo money mo money
selema & chaos, undercover…
“So Scales…hollywood smokers can never find an ash-tray? thoughts?”part 2
surfers have lives and coffee/ yo tom!
https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….
Searching for My board …starring Tom Curren.
*Skim
Not to be confused with Bruce Irons’ “Searching for my passport”!
much commentary from the beach crowd and Sal impersonators…”Hey Tomas, that’s Strider waiting in the line-up for an interview…in the mean time, did you just scorn that lil lady?”
Soo Mes-cal!
Likewise Brother! I just had a fantastic surf at a reef near me. Just 3 of us out and some sucky bombs. Usually dead flat this time of the year, so pretty stoked (and a bit broken)
I hope a bit broken only from hitting the reef? Chin up for a new year and keep an open dialogue with ya mates if you need to Negs!!
Yeah Negs, don’t keep all your secrets to yourself, emote them here, we all will hang on your every word. Chin up from a great session. Off season score, why are you so depressed? Open dialogue is your key to recovery man. I just hope the best for you. And yours. I know, she prolly reads the comments too. How did that dream house sell? Dang, walking distance and all. Maybe should have dropped video of your patented pig dog to nail the coffin. Yup, should have. Dang man, real estate kingpin all thanks to Instagram.
I just hope Kelly gets back together with Giselle.
Depressed? not me. Life is good. Just normal levels of anxiety and hatred towards others!
Happy to be moving on and there’s a lingering warm glow of memories from the good times from my days here.
But as the Millionaires start shifting into the neighbourhood there’s a weird sense of satisfaction about moving away and being closer to the “hood”.
I was having fun with Tom’s comment, respectfully.
Agree, the beach is no longer ours but the water doesnt respect $
Broken from getting smashed. Was some of the biggest waves I’ve surfed in awhile. Deep water break with push!
that’s good to hear – i got few mates broken for different reasons this time year!!
I just had a reasonable light onshore surf too for first of year – 1 hr non stop paddling but was rewarded to be solo, water clear and warm – happy new year!!!
Thought they just hooked up last week to buying a house together – fuck me that was fast OR fucking hell Chas you missed this story and they been going out for a year or so and we late to the party!!
Lots of systemic lawnmowing coming up for some mexican dude
What does announcing a surf event pay 20K? So I asked google..
“Salary Ranges for Sports Commentators
The salaries of Sports Commentators in the US range from $13,167 to $351,332 , with a median salary of $62,740 .”
and
“World Surf League Average Salarieshttps://www.salary.com › Research › Employer
World Surf League pays an average salary of $89,077 and salaries range from a low of $77,564 to a high of $101,686. Individual salaries will, of course, …”
If Turpel isn’t on a million a year, then The WSL needs to pull it’s finger out.
Lupita and Conner have already been frantically DM’ing each other to get Coffin to “ironically” perform an acoustic, “raw” version of the song at the housewarming. Unfortunately, Selema nixed the idea, saying it was bad juju or something and that he’d approve only if Conner set up a tee time at DeBell with Jimmy.
I doubt Conner is in any mood to play music after getting dropped by Rip Curl.
Settle down mate, we find journalism very offensive here.
He got drooped? Oooft.
I’ll leave that typo
Yep
Drooped him like a Flash-Bomb!
Probably be at CI’s door steps soon trying to remind them of how popular his Fred rubble used to be.
short era…very short!
https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….
Blues
wait that would be a story at least about a surfer.
Ohh dang really? Good thing his family’s loaded…
RIP Conor wetsuits
It’s been a December to remember for the Coffins. Just not the kind you want.
Starship Log 805 Montecito…”We could go test guitars and play stairway to heaven, get mex food, and buy that house!” (Overheard transcript w/ Connor and his HS cheerleader girlfriend) “Honey did you see me surf the last three days?”
Light a candle in any canyon of the Santa Monica Mountain range and you’re likely to start a major fire. C’mon Chas…maybe this time suggest making some kind of other offering? Like, rub a crystal. Or sacrifice a ram (all due respect to Beef n Beer tho).
Surf coast shire “forgot” to put the cost of fireworks back in the budget. No fireworks for us!
Happy dogs ☺️
Could be worse. They could have gotten a place in Winslow, Arizona.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Damn I need to find me a Sugar Mama.
The price of entry, matching outfits
Bargain compared to prices around here. Was it the site of one of the Manson murders?
Did he actually kill anyone?
No, he was just a good motivational speaker.
Only in America!!
but is he of this planet and still repping the flat earth and super-green society…? 2023 we’ll find out where his head and her head meet. you know, married and such (with children). cha cha cha cha…changes?