RIP to a titan of the surf picture game… 

The beautiful Larry Haynes, Hollywood’s number one go-to when it came to shooting anything in giant surf, has died of a suspected heart attack while crossing the road after a surf at Laniakea on Oahu’s North Shore. 

Details are pretty brief, but Larry, a Californian transplant who moved to the North Shore thirty years ago and who was in his late-fifties by my estimation, was without peer, seriously. 

“Some horrible news tonight,” wrote Kelly Slater. “The man is a staple in our lives…It’s hard to imagine a surfing world without Larry in it always screaming us into waves and throwing good vibes.”

A decade ago, Surfer magazine’s Rob Gilley wrote movingly of his pal, the one-man stud behind the company Fluid Visions.

Originally from Central California, Larry moved to Hawaii decades ago and never looked back. On every major swell for over 20 years, he has been swimming with a heavy water-housed movie camera in the heaviest conditions. And he does so with a refreshingly positive attitude and a huge smile on his face.

Larry has every reason to be bitter and condescending, but he’s not. He’s constantly stoked. He has been sand-bagged, double-crossed, and taken advantage of in the business world, but he keeps on spreading the aloha, and for that he should be highly praised.

To me, Larry is a precious character in the surf world and a living legend. 

I have seen him shooting wide-angle in-water film at giant closed-out Off The Wall, Backdoor, Maverick’s, Teahupoo, and Waimea. I once was in Australia with him when he shot wide-angle water movies at the sharky Easter Reef when the faces of sets were 25-foot. Before GoPro existed, Larry used to surf with a 10-pound camera attached to his head—a camera that would break your neck if the lip hit you unexpectedly.

The guy is a human bulldog.

Larry has used his athletic talent, considerable courage, and oceanic instinct to hold firm in the pit and then dodge potential catastrophes with the thinnest of margins for what seems like forever.

No one is paying Larry Haynes a salary or providing him with health insurance. He is a freelancer who shoots for the pure love of it, and has routinely put his life at risk hundreds of times.

Larry Haynes swims in the pit to get the ultimate shot, to provide the viewer with an intimate view of the sport we all love so much. 

Together with an elite crew of still photographers, he consistently puts his life on the line—not for piles of money, but for love of his craft, and for love of the ocean.

 

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A post shared by Larry Haynes (@fluid_vision)

Tributes have poured in for Larry, who caught some of the best vision of the Backdoor Shootout and the Eddie Aikau Invitational over the course of the past month.

“Love ya Larry,” wrote Kai Lenny. “We are sure gonna miss you down here. God speed my friend.”

"How do you look your wife in the eye if you've knocked a kid out just because you didn't want to wear a legrope?"

You don’t have to trawl too far into the BeachGrit archives to examine the ongoing debate about leashless longboarders in Byron Bay. 

A couple of months back, an aged care worker and mother of a disabled kid was crippled after she got belted by an out-of-control surf pilot who then criticised her for damaging his board with her bone and tissue. 

And this, from a little further back. 

Now, following the near-death of former professional surfer Matthew Cassidy on the pretty white sand of Wategos Beach after he was belted by a leashless log, there have been renewed calls for hipsters to allow legropes into their retro fantasies. 

“The Pass is full of kids, and I think there have been four incidents outside of mine in the last month or so,” Cassidy told ABC. “How do you look your wife in the eye if you’ve knocked a kid out just because you didn’t want to wear a legrope?”

 

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A post shared by Mathew Cassidy (@qwocka5)

In a poignant message posted to Instagram Cassidy, who is forty-nine, writes,

Two days ago I nearly bled out on the beach and nearly lost my arm when someone dropped in on me out 2ft Watego’s without a legrope.

After an hour on the beach being held together by some absolutely legendary humans I was rushed via ambulance then helicopter to GC where I’m currently awaiting specialist advice.

I want to thank the following
* the people on the beach who followed my instructions on how to fashion a tourniquet and called 000 to get more expert advice. Without you I would have bled out in 5 mins. You somehow kept tourniquets in place for an hour. You saved my life.
* To the people who kept me conscious and focused, thank you. You saved my life.
* To the first responders, the emergency teams, the doctors, the nurses and the specialists, Thank you, you saved my life.
* To my friends who have gone above and beyond for me and my wife, Thank you. You are my life.

And, want a little twist of the ironic?

A legrope used as a tourniquet saved Cassidy’s life.

"The rest of the cookers then erupt with mirth at (Slater's) stunning wit."

One year ago the notoriously unrestrained Australian press went after surfing’s greatest ever after he teed off on COVID vaccines on an obscure Instagram account.

“For people saying listen to the doctors,” Slate wrote, “I’m positive I know more about being healthy than 99% of doctors, but I wouldn’t trust me. But most of my covid info comes directly from doctor friends, many of them in disagreement with the official ‘science’.”

He added ominously.

“I had another of many friends have horrible reaction to the vaccine just today. She thought she was dying and fears her quality of life has changed in the past few days for good. My mom also is part of those underreported stats. Other friends have literally died from it. So anyone here shaming people who are affected or concerned does nothing but feed the ego.”

Everyone laughed, press came in swinging, but after recent revelations the vaccines may not have been the miracles they were promised, heart attacks as common as catching a cold, athletes collapsing mid-game, you think the press would be a little sheepish, maybe tone down the rhetoric? 

Well. 

Earlier today, the Twitter account @KenBerhan, which shares “Oz Cooker News & Views”, a cooker is a conspiracy theorist in the Australian vernacular, ran a clip showing various “cookers” discussing “environmental lockdowns” and “smart cities.”

“Initially I assumed both [former Wimbledon champ Pat Cash and Kelly Slater] were just anti-vax, but it seems they are both much further down the rabbit hole than that, and majorly cooked!”

Pat Cash & Kelly Slater talk environmental lockdowns and ‘Smart Cities’ on Hoody’s Athletes with Voices series. Initially I assumed both were just Anti Vax, but it seems they are both much further down the rabbit hole 🕳 than that, and majorly Cooked! 🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/gZzNKDu3sQ

— Ken_Behren (@KenBerhan) February 9, 2023

The Australian press gobbled it up.

This from News.com.au,

The footage begins with Cash griping about emission reduction targets, wildly claiming they were part of a wider “lockdown” conspiracy.

“The environmental lockdowns … are going to be subtle, just like everything else,” Cash begins.

“I live in London, I’m in Melbourne at the moment, but I live in London, and there’s a certain area of a suburb where you cannot drive down for emissions, and people in London will understand this, there’s an emission lockdown.

“There’s been signs for years, low emissions, all this sort of stuff. Now if you go into that area, you drive down that area and you don’t live there, you will get fined … an infringement notice, about 80 pounds so.

“It was never there, it’s there now, they’re starting to implement them bit by bit and that’s how it starts. ‘Oh, we’re looking at the environment in this area to protect the people from the pollution that’s coming out of the cars’.”

Kelly Slater then interjects, saying sarcastically: “Cause wind doesn’t blow? Is that what it is Pat?”, with the rest of the cookers then erupting with mirth at his stunning wit.

“These are the subtle things – so people, be aware of this, so when you go to your council, and they say, ‘oh we’re looking at doing the parking permissions and all this around whatever it happens to be’, be aware that this is how it starts, and it has started already,” Cash concludes.

Another participant then launches into a nonsensical tirade about “15 and 20-minute cities”, which appears to be a reference to a residential urban concept in which most daily needs and services, such as work, shopping, education, health, and leisure, should be located within an easily reachable 15-minute walk or bike ride from any point in the city, which most people would probably agree sounds ideal.

All this, says News, “comes amid a recent explosion in ‘cooker’ activity in Australia.

I ain’t one for conspiracies, although they certainly exist, the Dalai Lama working for the CIA, the same organisation’s MK-ULTRA program, the Gulf of Tonkin and so on.

And so I put to the reader,

How you feeling about cookers given recent revelations about the COVID vaccines, Pfizer, actors playing COVID victims and everything else?

An unfortunate, but innocent, episode or something more sinister?