Light your torch.
Are we there yet? Peak Nanny Culture? Nothing to do but just sit atop the humungous mound of worry, victimization, lost sense of humor, nitpick and warm ourselves in the hot beam of disapproval? To be honest, I’d thought we’d arrived at the tippy-top six months ago when a certain tasteless surf tabloid was slammed by the Committee for Equity in Women’s Surfing for posting an image of an old gal having the best of times.
We were not even close.
For hours ago, surf royalty Chris Hemsworth and his wife, Elsa Patasky, were sent to the stocks for putting their son’s face in a chocolate cake and posting it to social media.
Hemsworth, best known for being Greatest Surf Movie in the Universe star Luke Hemsworth’s brother, wrote:
Happy 9th birthday to my two little men! Only one way to eat cake in this house and that’s to have mum slam your head into it face first!! “Hey mum I don’t like chocolate cake I prefer vanilla” “oh really son, what about now”?
Rage was swift and unrelenting.
“Why people smash their kid’s face in the cake is above my understanding but whatever,” one concerned global citizen, who is clearly childless, wrote.
“Why do people think this is funny?” another lobbed, before a third added, “It’s so violent.”
“In my country this is done, but it’s very poorly looked upon because several accidents have already happened,” a fourth opined.
Please gather at the less famous Hemsworth’s house with torches already lit.
See you there.
(If you don’t know the address, DM Derek Rielly.)
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Whoever wrote this article was either being witty by calling Chris Hemsworth only being famous for having Luke Hemsworth as his brother or whoever wrote this is an idiot because pretty sure Chris Hemsworth is the most famous of all the Hemsworth brothers and everyone smashes their kids face into the cake! It’s like mandatory lol
in summing this all up…instead of an elimination round at Bells, WSL will host an Easter Egg Hunt…surfers collecting the most will advance.
watched too many Three Stooges episodes: whipped creme pie!
Ha!
https://m.youtube.com/watch…
Brownies and chocolate mousse and chocolate whipped cream all smashed dense…..Mississippi Mud Pie!
ah…longing for the ol Chart House dessert.
eat more bugs~
https://static.wixstatic.co…
Gooood catch!
Will cake become surfing adjacent is the only question.
looking forward to ringing the bell and the winner gets a pie in the face…WSL award ceremony. cutting back on the champagne…
Its the woke coke
On it!
Sprinkles suck and ice cream cake is the go… unless it’s carrot. Or cheese.
veggies don’t belong in cakes…otherwise, with you
could not see the light of day. until…drank the carrot juice. day is very clear now/
He’ll survive
could also have posted to the HB parking tickets stink…
“Why do people think this is funny?” – Well duh.. Cause it is! Soft cunts everywhere these days.
CUNTS
I feel – being one myself (not of the soft, but good cunt variety) – it takes one to call truly cuntish behaviour’s out.
#CUNTLIFE
The only way I know!
Man! I envy you Aussies getting to throw CUNT around like its going out of style! Here in SoCal they beat that dhit out of us years ago😆
Seems like a waste of good cake.
Don’t these people know the price of eggs and chocolate these days ?
Let alone the mess…
Lucky for us we have rich people on social media, like Chas and the Hemsworths, to show us how cool we too could be if we had 2 cakes and a cleaner.
Soon as my eyes panned to the back ground and saw the lanai and view..
I don’t remember the eggs I eat but I will never forget the $9 dozen I accidentally bought this year at a Mexican market.
those were goat testicles!
Maybe they still ate it? Maybe they need a Fuckin Tall Ladder to see over how people put the dumbest shit on social media…what do I know.
place the tall ladder at the top of the Bell’s stairs. place Brutus on top!
With Gisele x Kelly finally dead and buried, am I sensing an imminent Hemsworthian infatuation? They do indeed surf so it’s fair game.
As an aside, I saw Elsa and son at Suffolk Park IGA and she was definitely checking me out.
Yew! Chas has his new celebxBG commentor muck to be raked story right here – within these walls!!
Mate, she’s only human after all. Just lucky she managed to get herself under control in time
I’m sure they’ll Gisele x Kelly back for a second session
Chaz how was this not picked up by now
– rich person sues ever richer celebrity for violent clash after breaking unwritten right of way rules of a sliding board sport! How much more adjacent can this be!
https://www.theguardian.com…
My minds already melting for coming across celeb news and thinking they belong here.
trouble with her balance? blame the ozone (she has a new therapy technique; pretty anal.)
Face pushed into a cake, please!
All I use to get was a cream pie and a limp from creepy Uncle Dave
I repeat: show us on the doll where he touched you...(credit LGR or Twillsey or someone else)
It was more of a dry fisting than a touch, and it was right in the corn-hole
Refreshing to see some good old fashioned parenting. When I was a kid I never got asked what do you want for dinner honey? It was- You can eat it or you can go hungry. Your choice.
Puff piece
Can I bring a pitchfork?
https://www.youtube.com/wat…