"Now you’re making more stupid rules and you guys want the surfboard manufacturing industry to kow-tow to your demands."
If you know your boards, you’ll know the name Bert Burger, the surf industry adjacent Western Australian-born shaper who invented the technology that would eventually become Firewire Surfboards.
Firewire, if you didn’t know, is a surfboard brand owned by Kelly Slater that builds boards in Thailand and sells ’em for between six hundred and thirteen hundred dollars.
Burger, who lives in Thailand, was named Surfer Magazine’s shaper of the year in 2007, which the now-revived AI zombie magazine celebrated by spelling Bertie’s name wrong throughout.
Anyway, he’s got surfboard building bona fides. So when he launched an extraordinary tirade at the WSL on his personal Facebook page, figure I should put it up in lights.
Responding to an apparent change in the ruleset for the longboard tour, Burger wrote:
“WSL…over the past five or six years I’ve watched the world’s best longboarders leave the sport, disgusted with the change of judging criteria. Replaced with kooks who go straight. Now you’re making more stupid rules and you guys want the surfboard manufacturing industry to kow-tow to your demands. Talk about regression.”
There’s a longboard tour? The rules have been changed?
Last I heard, grappling dynamo Joel Tudor, a three-time world champ, had been disappeared following conduct detrimental to the integrity of the WSL per the WSL Rule Book, which includes the violation of the following provisions: sportsmanlike conduct (14.02), damage to surfing’s image (14.04), and verbal assault (14.08).”
The suspension followed a heated series of posts, interviews, with and from Tudor following a rumour, possibly started here, that the World Surf League was gonna slash cut the longboard world tour from three events to one.
“(They) want to run this fake shit about equality and inclusiveness,” wrote Tudor. “Don’t be a bunch of fucking phonies.”
Burger, whose initial missive struck a chord with his followers later added,
“You spend your entire career helping to advance the sport through innovation and product development. Then one day, the powers that be decide to show favoritism to all those manufacturers still using 70 year old technology.”
Dark days, I suppose, or is it a subtle way of telling log people to ride a regular craft if they wanna do turns?