"Critical information" from "big cliffs."
Well, it appears that surf fans have finally had enough of the World Surf League’s alternate universe where down is up, success is measured in ladders and THE MOMENTUM IS REAL. For yesterday, chief of executives Erik Logan took to Instagram, as he often does, in order to pat himself on the back, again, for the Apple Watch partnership which was rolled out at the beginning of this 2023 Championship Tour season.
Logan declared, in an interview with Australia’s Channel 9 news, that the technology “really solved a big problem” allowing surfers to get “critical information” from “big cliffs.”
Ostensibly, the device has a heat timer, shows priority and doesn’t work.
Leonardo Fioravanti, and a host of other professional surfers, have criticized the watch, copping fines. Universally beloved Carissa Moore refuses to wear one. Caio Ibelli almost missed his heat because he assumed the thing would tell time.
But losing is winning in the aforementioned alternate universe.
Multiple vectors of success.
Except surf fans have finally had enough.
Logan’s Instagram was exploded by truth insisters.
Keith Grace penned, “This is without a doubt the best example of the pathetic word salad dishonest propaganda you’ve spewed since the start of your and the other front-office VAL’s takeover of the CT Tour. It’s truly sad. You and your crew will find the next shiny object to invest in and soon enough leave professional surfing competition in the dust. Only when your group does this, and the rest of us actual lifelong surf dirtbags are left with the charred remains of what you millionaires have done, will there be an outside shot of the CT Tour having a chance to be revived to respectability.”
Hollis Turner added, “Less surfers, better waves please. Can Apple fix that possibly?”
Michael McGann chimed, “Is that why we see the competitors asking for info during heats? Lol. They don’t work.”
And on and on it went.
Things did not go much better on Facebook where Logan decided to write, “We’ve been professional surfing for about 50 years now…” in praise of himself.
We’ve been professional surfing?
Well, if I can join in on the self back patting, I think we, together, have three World Surf League scalps hanging off our belts. Paul Speaker, “Backward Fin” Beth and Soph Goldschmidt.
Logan’s is gonna be a real sweet addition.
THE MOMENTUM IS REAL.