Zombie website Surfer comes straight for The Inertia’s tender throat, posts “viral TikTok” showing one dog, three surfers “riding the ultimate party wave!”

"The bible of the sport" vs. "the definitive voice of surf and the outdoors."

The reanimated corpse of Surfer magazine has been one of the more fascinating stories of 2023. Murdered and buried in a shallow grave three-ish years ago, the “bible of the sport” seemed to be a victim of changing media dynamics, a contracted surf industry and David’s Pecker, who purchased the title, along with many others, and lathered them in debt.

Surfers mourned then carried on, as we are wont to do.

Well, magically, the rotting bones were exhumed, early 2023, by a me-too’d publisher much to the wonderment of all.

Why?

To what end?

It soon became apparent that the historically significant title would be shocked into zombie-dom and shuffle around the great internet, presenting stories from “proud owners of a Pyrnesse-mixes” living in East Tennessee.

After Emily Morgan was praised for her ingenuity, her ability to see surf all the way from those Smoky Mountains, her job was ripped away and the daemon Surfer was given a new purpose.

To suck the life out of rival The Inertia, stealing its life force by nursing on the place where a spine should, theoretically, be.

Yikes.

Yesterday, the house that Severson built published a cute video featuring açaí enthusiast Michael Rodrigues “getting dropped in on” in Western Australia by “locals” i.e. dolphins.

Classic The Inertia.

Today, we are served a “viral TikTok” celebrating the “ultimate party wave” i.e. three people, a dog and a soft top.

Classic-er The Inertia.

But do you think the “definitive voice of the surf and outdoors” founder Zach Weisberg is scared? Laying in bed at night, covers pulled up around chin, waiting for Surfer’s gums to come and suckle his milquetoast?

He should be.

We should all be.