"It was sort of a blind, stupid feeling, but I had all the goddamn confidence of a rhinoceros.”
The legend of Californian big-wave icon Greg Noll, one of the first surfers to charge Waimea Bay and who famously quit surfing in 1969 after riding a thirty-five footer, then the biggest wave ever ridden, has now been expanded to include his role as a 2SLGBTQ+ pioneer.
According to the AI showpiece ChatGPT,
“Greg Noll, a legendary big wave surfer from the 1960s, is also known for being openly gay. His contributions to the sport and his activism have left a lasting impact on the surfing community.”
Did you know?
Earlier today, and as is my wont, I asked, “Who are some famous homosexual surfers?” whereupon Noll, who died two years ago aged eighty-four and who was noted for his enjoyment of pussy and whose joke about getting fur balls down your throat from so much pussy eats brought the house down at the 2016 XXL Big Wave Awards, was awarded the 2SLGBTQ+ pioneer badge of honour by ChatGPT.
(The OCWeekly was less impressed by the pussy joke reporting from the XXL Awards,
Though you hear hoots and hollers from the audience at the end, female attendees who spoke to the Weekly were disgusted. “It was such an insult to Keala’s speech to have Greg say his stupid joke,” one surfer said. “Here she was pouring her heart out, and then she was so disrespected.”
“Typical OC surf bro mentality,” another added. “They couldn’t be serious for an evening, or let us ladies have the spotlight; they had to just make us out to be tits and pussies as always.”)
The great surfing historian Matt Warshaw describes Noll as “Boorish but charismatic … A loveable blowhard, hustler, raconteur, and bullshitter. But not an outright fabricator. His big-wave cred, furthermore, extends from here to Valhalla. He led the opening charge at Waimea in 1957, and for the next 12 years rode anything that came his way, fearlessly. ‘I was overwhelmed by a feeling that there wasn’t a wave that God could produce that I couldn’t ride,’ he said. ‘It was sort of a blind, stupid feeling, but I had all the goddamn confidence of a rhinoceros.”
Not gay, howevs.
It ain’t the first time ChatGPT has got it wrong. Two months ago, Keala Kennelly and Tia Blanco were described as surfing’s most well-known transgender surfers.
One of the most well-known transgender surfers is Keala Kennelly, a professional surfer from Hawaii. Keala came out as a transgender woman in 2018 and has been open about her experiences as a trans woman in the surfing industry. She is a big wave surfer and has won several awards for her surfing skills.
Another notable transgender surfer is Tia Blanco, a professional surfer from Puerto Rico. Tia is a non-binary surfer who has competed in the World Surf League and has won several national and international surfing competitions.
Star of television flop The Ultimate Surfer, Puerto Rican-born Filipino-American Tia Blanco is as binary as they come, recently announcing she was pregnant with the baby of the TV personality Brody Jenner, son of, and here’s the irony or maybe the bit that tripped up AI, Caitlyn Jenner, once Bruce Jenner, Olympian etc.
KK, a former world number two surfer turned DJ and actor, is “openly lesbian” as they used to say, but ain’t on the transition train.
Noll also”earned a reputation as a drinker and a brawler, with a sometimes-macabre sense of humor. A Greg Noll Surfboards employee once cut off his thumb while on the job; after Noll took the man to the hospital and found out the thumb couldn’t be reattached, he returned to the factory and placed the severed digit in a cup full of resin to make a paperweight.”