World Surf League CEO Erik Logan teaches current number 3 Jack Robinson to breathe hypocrisy (insert).
World Surf League CEO Erik Logan teaches current number 3 Jack Robinson to breathe hypocrisy (insert).

“Repugnant” World Surf League comes under heavy fire for wanton greenwashing as new report reveals surfers’ carbon footprint 50% greater than average person!

Breathe the hypocrisy.

The World Surf League, self-billed “global home of surfing,” is not shy when it comes to burnishing its environmental bonafides. Talking points sent down from twin chiefs Erik Logan and Jessi Miley-Dyer include referring to the ocean as “office, home and playground” thereby necessitating preservation. Action items involve coordinating planting a bush in Western Australia. But behind the scenes, deals are struck with landfill-ready, carbon spewing Chinese SUVs and any other company willing to open a chequebook in order to be covered by a green wave.

Well, it appears the jig might be up as a new entirely damning BBC piece fingers the average surfer as having a 50% greater carbon footprint than an everyday Joe. Professional surfers, with the amount of boards chewed through, non-stop airline travel, passively shilling Great Wall Motors, certainly scratching 80%.

An excerpt:

Historically, surfing has had an image of a sport and lifestyle that is in tune with, and protects, oceans and the environment.

But environmental campaigners say the manufacture and export of polystyrene and polyurethane boards and neoprene wetsuits comes with a significant carbon footprint.

One long-standing study estimated the manufacture of a traditional polyurethane board, covered with epoxy resins and exported across the globe, could be responsible for producing the equivalent of up to 250kg of carbon dioxide.


The reporter did find a glimmer of hope, however, in the top UK women’s surfer Lucy Campbell who has declared, unlike the World Surf League, that she will no longer accept sponsorships from gross polluters.

“It’s often hard to turn down a big pay cheque, if they’re a brand that isn’t sustainable, but it’s definitely more worthwhile in the long run,” she said, adding, “I think that they (the brands) need to take the onus and make that difference. It may come at a higher price but I think eventually that price will come down as technology advances.”

Mark Dale, the chief marketing officer for Agit Global, the US company that makes the mass-produced board Wavestorm dumpster-anticipating VAL boards, might have agreed, in theory, but quickly pointed the finger elsewhere, stating, “The misconceptions about Wavestorm is that we are creating this mass of boards that are meant for landfill, but you can use a Wavestorm board for many years. We don’t build boards as disposable boards here.”


The World Surf League’s Logan and Miley-Dyer are yet to respond but be on the lookout for another bush planting somewhere near you.

Or maybe an exciting new partnership with clean coal.

Photo: Sports Illustrated. On stands May 18.

81-year-old Martha Stewart joins surf stars Anastasia Ashley, Malia Manuel, Caroline Marks as Sports Illustrated swimsuit pin-up!

Age but a number.

Few honors are as great, maybe, than that of gracing the cover and/or centerfold of the Sports Illustrated annual swimsuit edition. Oh women posing scantily clad may seem antiquated but it is also empowering, I think, and many surf stars have been empowered during the course of the magazine’s fifty-plus year run. Notables include Anastasia Ashley, Malia Manuel, Caroline Marks and Kelly Slater.

Well, the 81-year-old Martha Stewart has officially joined their ranks becoming the most senior person ever and wow.

“When I heard that I was going to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit, I thought, ‘Oh, that’s pretty good, I’m going to be the oldest person I think ever on a cover of Sports Illustrated.’ And I don’t think about age very much, but I thought that this is kind of historic.”

Historic is right.

Though lest you think the lifestyle guru and ex-con is merely a pretty face, Stewart is also an avid waterwoman being trained by none other than “King of the Sea” Laird Hamilton.

Back to Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit edition, though, which current crop of professional surfers would you like to see included?

Felipe Toledo?

Good choice.

Watch heart-scarring moment when freakishly aggressive tiger shark attacks innocent kayaker off surf-rich Oahu!

Shark rage.

There has been a spate of wild, unfortunate, sometimes deadly shark incidents, of late, and surfers around the world should certainly be put on notice. I am sure scientists have some sort of hypothesis, a reason why the ocean’s toothy beasts are going berserk and it may well have something to do with the tense political climate on land.

Then again, maybe not, but word has clearly passed amongst the apex predator that it is open season on humans, all humans, even those innocently enjoying a day of fishing off surf-rich Oahu.

But let us turn our attention to Scott Haraguchi who just so happened to be roughly a mile offshore in his fine yellow kayak, line in water, maybe listening to Brother Iz. He had his high-definition GoPro running, maybe hoping to capture a victorious reeling in of mahi-mahi or wahoo. Instead, he captured an unprovoked bit of nasty from a freakishly aggressive tiger shark.

“I heard a whooshing sound that sounded like a boat heading towards me without the motor and I looked up and I saw this big brown thing. My brain thought it was a turtle but then I got slammed by it and realised that it was a tiger shark,” he told the local news.

After the incident, Haraguchi continued to fish only realizing how rude the shark was when reviewing the footage later.

Semi-undeterred, the brave man declared he will now take a partner on his fishing adventures, adding, “I realise that life is short, time is short on Earth, so make the most of it.”

Dang sharks.

But does such a clear picture of shark rage give you pause?

It should.

Photo: Beef.
Photo: Beef.

Music-loving surfer brutally gunned down in suburban Los Angeles following road rage incident!


Rage, in all its many forms, seems to be reaching epidemic status in these United States of America. Whether it is exploding in digital forums, losing mind whilst waiting for the grocery checkout, screaming swears and splashing in the lineup (often justified) or launching into a full tirade on an airline, people, it seems, have lost their bearing.

I was on a flight to New York, recently, and a portly woman one row back became incensed that her carry-on bag would have to go in the back of the plane and not over her head. One of the stewardesses dared call her “honey” when explaining the situation and that set her right off. Multiple deep swears, face beet red, full steam ahead down fury road. She was eventually escorted off by security to the cheers of other passengers, delaying the trip by a good hour, though I sat and pondered her actions. She must have known her outburst was not going to have any desired effect, what with many, many stories about disruptive passengers being kicked off, heavily fined and placed on no-fly lists.

Entirely self-destructive.

Road rage is, of course, the grandaddy of all the various rages, coming into vogue in the mid-1990s and growing in popularity yearly. What once consisted of honking, raising a middle finger, maybe riding a bumper and flashing brights has, in this age, turned entirely deadly.

Take the tragic story of the 25-year-old Jordanian immigrant Mohammad Khair Hani Ali Zaid Al-Kilani, for example. The young man had come to Southern California based on falling in love with the lifestyle as a boy and was truly living his dream. He discovered surfing, according The Los Angeles Times, and enjoyed music on the beach with his friends after sunset sessions.

Well, one week ago from today, Al-Kilani was driving near Marina del Rey when a driver cut him off and continued driving erratically. At a stoplight, the young man got out of his car and approached the other driver only to be shot, point blank, in the chest.

He was pronounced dead at the scene.

But what sort of insanity is this? Both getting out of vehicle, in this day and age, I suppose, and/or straight murdering someone who approaches you?


And have these topsy-turvy times forced you to change your behavior? Are you more wary, less inclined to start a conflict?



Just crazy.

Real quickly while you’re here, though, have you watched Netflix’s Beef yet?

It’s very good.

Doc Tony Fauci, left, on Sixty Minutes, and right, Kelly Slater, Pipe king at almost fifty.

Kelly Slater launches wild broadside at pro-vaccine zealots including US health tsar Anthony Fauci, “The attacks against the unvaccinated were nothing short of evil”

"When the chips are down, these civilised people will eat each other"

Kelly Slater’s views of government-mandated vaccines ain’t a secret.

When tennis ace Novak Djokovic was cut from the US Open cause he wouldn’t get jabbed Slater wrote,

“You could just walk across the southern border. RIDICULOUS”

The eleven-time champ waded into a similar fracas when Djokovic was booted out of Australia despite a vaccine-exemption. Slater said Victorians, who were locked in their homes for a total of 262 days, the longest of anywhere in the world and shot with rubber bullets and bashed by police if the gov’s edicts were ignored, were suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. He even suggested there be a name change for the condition where hostages fall in love with their tormenters to “Melbourne Syndrome”.

“It’s sad to see the celebrated division by the ‘virtuous; vaccinated. If you’re vaccinated why are you concerned/worried about anyone else’s status… unless, of course, it doesn’t protect you? Or you’re scared you’ll catch it or upset you had to take the risk of vaccination yourself? So much brainwashed hatred in people’s hearts regardless of vax status.”

When readers argued against his case, Slater was quick to push the blade home, demonstrating a broad knowledge of the disease and the hastily produced vaccine, deftly shutting the door on debate.

Hoarse was the phlegm of the snicker from surf fans, however, convinced of the righteousness of government and the infallibility of the vaccines and so on.

Now, as suppressed information pours into the light Slater, who was belted by the press a year ago when he claimed he knew more “about being healthy than 99 percent” of doctors, appears to be right.

Earlier today, beneath a video compilation of mainstream press stories from the COVID era Slater tweeted,

The tweet was viewed almost ten thousand times and the response mostly pro-Slater.

“100% Kelly! I was attacked and ridiculed for my decision. Glad I stood my ground.”

“Onya for sticking your neck out and not just luxuriating on your laurels”

“Kelly you’re the man!”

And this epic retort,

Now that the dust has settled and the apocalyptic virus seems to’ve been forgotten, how do you feel about the whole thing now?

You thrilled you got the needle and its various sequels?