Sammy (left) and Jason getting it. Photo: Channel 9
Sammy (left) and Jason getting it. Photo: Channel 9

Australian parents mercilessly flogged in court of public opinion for daring let young children swim alone in ocean!

“I feel ill. Kids at the beach by themselves at that age makes me feel physically ill."

This world is a cruel place, seemingly crueler everyday, with opinions hewn into instruments of torture and used, mercilessly to flog those with wrong thinking or actions in the public square. Brutal flicks of the lash meant to leave deep scars and also scare others away from similar wrong thinking or actions. And let us travel, together, to Australia where two parents, Jason and Sammy, are currently tied to the sawhorse, backs exposed, for daring let their young children swim unsupervised in the ocean.

The revelation was made on the reality program Parental Guidance in which parents share tricks of the trade and brutalize each other when tactics diverge. The two engage in what they call “lighthouse parenting” in which they allow their oldest two children, Pepper, 10, and Jude, 6, go to the beach all by their big selves and splash splash away.

“It’s an opportunity for them to showcase how independent they can be, and give them some trust as well,” Sammy declared.

Well, people were not pleased, no not at all.

“I feel ill. Kids at the beach by themselves at that age makes me feel physically ill,” one mother spat.

“That water can change in an instant and from where you are and where the kids are, they’re gone,” another added.

Sammy, though, stuck to her guns, responding, “The thing with our parenting style is the children to be aware of their own limitations,” which brought out the big guns from World Surf League CEO Erik Logan who in an open letter stated:

To the WSL community,

I want to address the conversation that happened in our community following the recent Championship Tour event at the Surf Ranch. As you likely know, a small number of athletes made statements questioning the judging of the competition and the final results.

I want to respond directly to those statements, however, we first need to address a much more important issue. In recent days, a number of surfers, WSL judges, and employees have been subject to harassment, intimidation, and threats of violence, including death threats, as a direct result of those statements. Those things should never happen in our sport or any sport, and we’re devastated that members of our community have been subject to them. It is an important reminder to us all that words have consequences. We hope the entire WSL community stands with us in rejecting all forms of harassment and intimidation.

Etc.

Back to Jason, Sammy and their crazy ways, do you stand with them, thinking that today’s children are over-coddled and need a little bit more freedom or are we not doing enough to keep them safe?

Do you let your own little ones swim or surf alone?

Do you dare utter if you do?

Watch out.

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Half-gringo kid Alan Cleland Jr, who has one of the world's heaviest beachbreaks in his front yard and a drug-cartel war in the back, won the mens, beating Peruvians Lucca Mesinas and Miguel Tudela and Japan’s Kanoa Igarashi in the final. | Photo: ISA

Peru cements position as world’s number one surf nation and a blond Mexican wins men’s gold at Olympic qualifier while Team USA plunges to hitherto unseen low!

And eight surfers gifted spots into the 2024 Paris Games, surfing to be held at Teahupoo!

The surf world is reeling today after minnows Peru stormed to victory at the ISA World Surfing Games, a sorta Olympic qualifying event held in queer-unfriendly El Salvador.

Last year’s winner Team USA, whose squad this year included world champ John John Florence, world number one and Surf Ranch Pro champ Griffin Colapinto, five-time world champ and Olympic gold medallist Carissa Moore, finished the tournament in fifteenth place behind  Germany, Italy and Canada.

Despite the shock withdrawals of the triple world champ Gabriel Medina and world number two João Chianca due to a mysterious COVID-like virus, Team Brazil slid into third, just behind the powerful French team courtesy of Tatiana Weston-Webb winning the gals. 

Half-gringo Alan Cleland Jr, who has one of the world’s heaviest beachbreaks in his front yard and a drug-cartel war in the back, won the mens, beating Peruvians Lucca Mesinas and Miguel Tudela and Japan’s Kanoa Igarashi in the final. 

Like France’s Joan Duru who won the contest in 2021 but missed out on getting to the Games, his victory don’t automatically sling Al Jr into the 2024 Paris Games.

If South Africa’s Jordy Smith, who has already booked his tracksuit and dorm room in 2024, double qualifies via the CT, Al will be waving his Mex flag at the end of the road there in Teahupoo.

Despite the confusion that surrounded the event over the format, the withdrawals, a mysterious disease claiming two of the sport’s biggest drawcards, boilover heats where the world’s best surfers were curb-stomped by unknowns, eight surfers were gifted their spots in the Olympics: Shino Matsuda and Kanoa Igarashi for Japan, Billy Stairmand and Saffie Vette for New Zealand, Kauili Vaast and Vahine Fierro, France, and the aforementioned Jordy Smith for South Africa alongside Sarah Baum. 

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World Surf League Chief of Sport Jessi Miley-Dyer returns to Instagram after troubling ten day absence; proceeds to erase South African great Jordy Smith’s historic Olympic accomplishment!

Cracks showing.

The World Surf League’s top brass had been missing from Instagram for a whopping ten days in the aftermath of the Surf Ranch Pro’s wild insurrection. Not a peep. Not an awkward physical encounter pressed into history like a daisy into a dictionary. As you well know, Chief Executive Erik Logan and his Chief of Sport Jessi Miley-Dyer have been riding high these past few years, issuing twice daily reminders of their chill on the aforementioned social media platform. No accolade too small, no bit of zany too… zany not to share with their thousands of followers.”You never know who you’ll run into while traveling. Championship tour surfers, and even a #quokka!” Logan posted on May 15 being a li’l goof.

“Looking good for finals day!! Come for the contest – stay for my jokes. I love this place,” Miley-Dyer posted on May 28, referencing a “joke” in the video wherein she chuckles over the mechanical reliability of Kelly Slater’s plow.

Ahhh May 28. The day before three top-tier Brazilian professionals, all former champions, questioned the judging and blew the doors right off the World Surf League.

Death threats followed and rage. A massive outpouring of pent-up over-it-ness, surf fans and professional surfers alike pouring gasoline on the already raging fire.

Yet silence from the top.

Not a sound.

Or, not a sound until hours ago when Miley-Dyer penned:

I am so very proud of our @wsl surfers who have provisionally qualified for the Paris 2024 Olympics this week, through our friends at the @isasurfing ! The experience of being an Olympian and the attention it brings to surfing is a fantastic one for our sport and our athletes. We were so thrilled to have our reigning World Champions at the time take the Gold in Tokyo.

And can we all take a moment to think about @kaulivaast and @vahinefierro competing at home for an Olympic medal!? Crazy!

Of course, surfers like @kanoaigarashi and @jordysmith88 still have the chance to qualify through the WSL Championship Tour until August – as we are the Tier One Qualifier. For everyone not on the Championship Tour, there are still the 2023 Pan American Games, and the 2024 ISA World Games.

Oops.

South Africa’s Jordy Smith has already punched his ticket to Tahiti and many congratulations to him.

Huzzah etc.

I suppose increasingly awkward silence until Miley-Dyer realizes her mistake and attempts to rectify?

Or will South Africa declare war on the World Surf League too leaving us with another ten days of uncomfortable silence?

War is hell.

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Medina (pictured) worrying meemaw sick. Photo: Instagram
Medina (pictured) worrying meemaw sick. Photo: Instagram

Disease-stricken Gabriel Medina ignores bed rest orders after sensationally fleeing from ISA Olympic qualifier; horrifies grandmothers by partaking in push-up contest followed by dip in chilly pool!

Pain is weakness leaving the body.

Nobody, not one surf fan, even considered the possibility that our world could receive further rocking after the wild insurrection in Lemoore wherein three former champions, all Brazilians, denounced World Surf League scoring thereby leading to a word riot. Rage, recriminations, offensives and counter-offensives which have rendered the normally robust Instagram accounts of WSL Chief Executive Erik Logan and his Chief of Sport Jessi Miley-Dyer entirely mute.

Not one post since May 27.

Unheard of for the twin dynamos and more on that later.

But here we are, now, rolling incredibly on the swell of a new and almost equally wild tempest. Just yesterday it was reported that one of the aforementioned former champions, Gabriel Medina, had withdrawn from the ISA World Surfing Games currently reaching crescendo in El Salvador.

The Games, of course, are a qualifier for the much grander Olympics and Medina’s disengagement caused much wondering. Further investigation, though, revealed that the he, and current world number two João Chianca had also dropped out due sickness.

“In a joint decision between the athletes and the director of sports of CBS Paulo Moura it is with sadness that we announce that Gabriel and João will not continue competing in the ISA Games that is taking place in El Salvador,” an announcement read. “Gabriel had the flue two days ago and João also woke up with the flu and considering the proximity to the WSL event that counts towards the world title and the Olympic position we opted to withdraw them from competition… if the contest was not so close we would still be in the event but Gabriel Medina and João Chianca cannot risk it because they need to be one-hundred percent for the weekend.”

Derek Rielly concurred, penning, “A sound decision, if indeed the pair are reporting headaches, coryza (that inflammation of the nose’s mucous membrane), a temperature and great prostration, they must must rest, hydrate and so on lest the virus turn into pneumonia, pleurisy, nephritis, empyema or aught else of importance.”

Except hours ago Medina posted an Instagram story which appears to show him engaging in a sort of push-up contest, fast and furious, followed by a dip in a swimming pool horrifying surf fans, doctors and grandmothers who all know that drinking hot herbal teas and watching Friends reruns is the prescribed medicine.

Do you think his current sickness will morph into a much worse sickness ahead of the Surf City El Salvador Pro or, rather, do you think conventional wisdom regarding disease is just that: conventional And that Medina is showing wimps and mama’s boys how to muscle through like a MAN?

What is your personal approach to feeling ill? To bitch, whine, moan and carry on like a two-year-old with an ear infection or Medina up and ride?

More as the story develops.

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Open Thread: Comment Live as ISA World Surfing Games reaches dramatic finals day!

10,000 hours.

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