"I never wanted to get in the water again. I never wanted to try surfing until I came here and I got swallowed up and it really scared me."
Corey Funk needs little introduction, of course. He is the storied twenty-six-year-old pro scooter rider (“Watch me twirl, daddy!”) from Temecula in California who operates the YouTube channel Funk Bros with his brother Capron and cuz Tyler. The gang have six-million plus subscribers with vids regularly hitting more than a million clicks.
Plenty of social juice, an inspiration to god’s chillun etc.
Now, following a visit to Surf Ranch courtesy of his sponsor Red Bull who stumped up the seventy-gees to hire the joint and which confuses Funk who suggests, therefore, that each of his ten waves cost seven gees apiece, a wipeout sends the star into a nightmarish spiral back to when he nearly drowned as a kid.
“My second time out,” he begins, tears forming, “I got swallowed by a wave (long pause) and it scared the crap out of me. It brought some trauma back from when I was a kid. I got sucked over a wave when I was a kid and I wasn’t able to get out the wave. Multiple waves came, back to back to back and kept me under the water. It really scared me. It scared me so much to a point where I just never wanted to get in the water again, I never really wanted to try surfing until I came back here and I got swallowed up again and it really scared me.”
Redemption follows, this being the safest wave on earth, policed by the world’s best surf coach Tahitian Raimana Van Bastolaer, and Funk is soon barebacking the famous man-made wave, literally putting his life on the line for his YouTube video.
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if sad old blokes sucking each other off in the dunes constitutes a nude beach then Swanbourne beach WA should still get an honourable mention
Erin brooks mother is really sick too.
Cancer sucks
Ha!
June 3, 2023
https://www.nytimes.com/202…
It’s far easier to get ignored by the justice system – especially as a wealthy, white, former president no less – if your nose is truly clean.
He def shoulda had a handle-bar on his soft-top…for bunny-hops!
Cesspool…
Congrats Dez on reaching a new low for BG. A true milestone.
Wouldn’t mind seeing a menu of what else the world offers for 7000$ an hour
10 points for a razor scooter, double if it’s not a kid.
True, I shouldn’t roll in the mud this sleep deprived. Thanks!
finished 2nd in the menopause division.
Made it to Regionals?
King of the non-sequiturs upvotes racial slurs. Nice form, DS&SS
joni’s blue. we’re green~
lisp’s
deleted redundant juveniles holdin hands while trippinnin’ on the seashore…poor skimboards/
got deleted. repost!
stuff more napkins/
the K-women can’t bear kids…no grief! b-ball Jones. waiting on pee results!…
Ladies and gentlemen, your 2023 winner of the Annual Chas Smith Surf Ranch Dislocated Shoulder Award presented by Raimana’s Bottled Enthusiastic Hootings, Corey Funk!
show an an hour before ur heat vs Caitlyn…sleep tight~manana troll!
I’m boycotting Red Bull for this horror.
Maga
Every time a story drops detailing the corruption of the Biden family, it’s dead certain you’ll see the MSM post stories about UFO’s and someone somewhere indicts Trump. Every time.
All to protect that darkie Obama.
Started out weak, ended fucked. Outdone yaself.
yeah, nah. All roads paved with the corruption of the Biden family during his VP years lead to the Dems version of Ronald Reagan. In other words, that darkie Obama.
You sound like washed up Kramer, repeating won’t make it funny. xox
Opaquey Obama?
Showing your true colours.
No way man. I got black friends.
breening from ear to ear…breele creme…summer cunt…hair wax!
You have black people in your orbit that are too embarrassed for you to tell you that you’re front wiper, I believe this is what you’re trying to say.
Excuse me
Miss ogyny
Where’s your “I got black friends” Badge? Let’s stop pretending you know anything about black people.
Haha yes I didn’t know they existed! Now I have one, so now where is your “front wiper” badge!
“I got black friends” Badge. The true sign of a racist.
What hat size are you? Serves as good reference for the white hood I’m having sewn for you. Welcome aboard my fellow racist, welcome aboard.
Call them and their families darkies in the same demeaning manner, to their faces. Since they’re you’re friends they’ll totally let it slide, right? PS – Your stance here is that of a fuggin’ idiot, my dude.
Hey man, I was just as surprised as you when I got the “I got black friends” Badge.
R U Kidding? Dude is so far out on the shoulder filming himself.
People ask, what is wrong with the world today?
Legit ? followed by cynical !!!
Poseurs. The world is now filled with Poseur’s and it’s cool
?