"Glad I made it home amidst the onslaught."
Surf fans the world over are huddled over candles, eyes tightly shut, thinking healing thoughts as Kelly Slater moments ago revealed that he is suffering from a incapacitating illness that has laid him low just hours before the Rio Pro is set to get underway. The 11x World Champion took to Instagram and shared a cryptic body temperature image with his most ardent supporters, writing, “When my sickness started the other day. On day 5 of being sick now. Fevers, sinus, chills, headache, stomach flu, etc. Glad I made it home amidst the onslaught.”
The long list of debilitating symptoms might suggest the greatest athlete of all-time is suffering from spinal meningitis, pneumonia, malaria or a stroke.
The global surfing community, while devastated that Slater likely will be unable to travel to Brazil, is more concerned about him lasting another five days thus the candles and thoughts.
But do you think it will work?
Do you think the power of positivity will carry on the trades all the way to Slater’s home, whichever one he is currently inhabiting, and lift him off his death bed then plant him in the land of order and progress or will the man who was gifted a one-of-a-kind season-long wildcard be forced to sit this one out?
Please keep your candle lit.
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How has Kelly not only Diagnosed what he had found a cure and Marketed said cure for the Public to receive while getting praised By Joe Rogan on his latest Podcast. Kelly is slipping…
Dumb fuck should’ve had the vac
I thought Ke12y maintained he “knows more about staying healthy than 99% of doctors” –
Maybe not.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Boognish!!
But how is Tylers menstrual cycle healing up?
The case of sore looser syndrome , coming last can’t take the pressure pulls the old I’m injured forfeit the match card , what a cunt act.
He can’t reveal Covid after traveling on a fake Vaxx card
He’s faking it bro
Who cares he did not make the grade anyway , or is it that he is actually still relevant 🤔?.
I hear it’s an acute case of oral venereal warts..gnarly.
Saquarema today.
https://youtu.be/3RAS-pvAz64
hopefully he die… and go to a ever flat heaven because only in hell waves are always firing…
Yeah i caught it last week and had a week off, get well soon kelly and dont be so cynical bg’ers
Classic prep for a Reuben Wiki
WSL feeling more like they’ve copped a John Hopoate
The curse of the cut continues, great waves today, and much smaller when the competition starts. Surf from today: https://youtu.be/hMtrCOqywlY
Other video from today in Saquarema:
https://youtu.be/3RAS-pvAz64
*another
surfline’s forecast for Saq is causing swelling, nausea, vomiting, and can I get a drumroll:
https://cdn.jwplayer.com/pr…
He always said he has “friends” who were “doctors” who could write him “Doctor notes” on the spot… little b%#ch.
there is one thing most of us have in common, survival!
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where the heck is his home?
Kelly tracking his ovulation
Preparing to compete on the women CT 😂
Well played, and well deserved of a standing ovulation. Xox
I diagnose this as a bout of Not Unexpected Temporary Extreme Cuntishness.
There is no known cure.
Ricky Basnett is also sweating, is his longstanding record about to be crushed by Slater?