"WTF Max Holloway can surf???"
If you’re into watching human beings beat hell out of each other in a 750 square foot cage, you’ll know, and possibly adore, the preternaturally gifted Hawaiian striker Max Holloway, the self-described “best boxer in the UFC.”
Holloway, who is thirty-one and a former featherweight champ (these days he’s the #2 contender), is the husband of Hawaiian surf star Alessa Quizon (once the gal of Caio Ibelli) and grew up on Oahu’s west side, famous for Sunny Garcia, Johnny Boy Gomes, Makaha and so on.
So he’s been around surfing, even if boxing is his game.
As he told Rogan,
I know all the big-wave surfers, Makua Rothman, and they always tell me, Zeke Lou, Kana Asing, hey, fighting is so crazy, I tell them, guy surfing is crazy, they’re like, no fighting is crazy! Guy, I’m fighting with a human being and I can kinda control what they do at certain times and what I do. When you’re surfing, you’re fighting mother nature my guy! If you fall off and if mother nature wants to throw you three times you’re going to get thrown three times!
As for safety equipment, says Holloway, “You got a puff-up vest? What if it doesn’t pop?”
In a recent Instagram post by Perfect Swell, the company behind the Waco pool, we see Holloway and Quizon riding back-to-back waves at the lauded Texas tank, Holloway competent enough while Quizon, as expected, concusses the wave with her endless beautiful strokes.
Fans were thrilled by the event, “WTF Max Holloway can surf???” but less so by the Reels format that cropped out most of the wave, “Worst camera work I’ve ever seen. 3 people surfing and he managed to miss all of them.”
Holloway’s wave pool adventure comes on the heels of another Hawaiian MMA superstar BJ Penn who nearly became surfing’s first pool fatality three years back when he was sucked outta the tank and into the engine room.
“Last year when I got sucked into a wave pool engine room and thought I was going to die… I kept thinking “don’t die for your kids” I was surfing for a about an hour and the line started getting longer to catch the wave. I was sitting next to the owner of the wave pool by the “wall” where the waves come from. The first wave it shoots out is a dud to get everyone ready for the next wave. The dud wave came back and because I was so close to the wall the wave swallowed me and pushed me and my surfboard underneath a huge cement wall. I remember feeling like I was getting sucked in a pipe and at that moment I got scared. It ended up pushing me into a big dark cement room that fills up with water to push the next wave for the wave pool. It felt like I was in the movie SAW or Final destination. The room would fill up with water to the top and I would hold my breath and then it would push the water out to make the wave and it was really rough inside there. Everything I bumped up against in the room that hurt me got infected. I got a bad sinus infection and a couple facial fractures from getting knocked around the cement walls and from the fractures the dirty water got in my face and infected my whole sinus. I was on antibiotics for three weeks for my face. While I was in the wave pool engine room I knew that one of my friends outside from big island is a legendary surfer and I knew he would come in there to rescue me so I stayed calm. A lot of other people might have panicked and maybe gave up but I just stayed strong for my kids. Anyway to make a long story short I survived that mother fucker 😛😛😛 !! The name of the people and water park have been left out. I not the kine guy shows up to your house to play and gets hurt and tries to sue you so all love ❤️ to everyone who helped me get there and helped me survive 🤙 Maybe I was the first guy in history to get sucked into a wave pool engine room while it is in operation but no matter what happens in life and no matter how scary it is if I can offer you any advice I would just say to “stay calm”. If I didn’t fight tough cunts my whole life I might have panicked, but it was just another day in the office.”
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A baggy of cocaine was discovered in the West Wing over the weekend after Hunter Biden visited the White House.
VP Harris was asked what defines that culture. here’s her reply:
Culture is, it is a reflection of our moment and our time. Right? And present culture is the way we express how we’re feeling about the moment and we should always find times to express how we feel about the moment. That is a reflection of joy. Because, you know, it comes in the morning (laughing).
which begs the 2nd question: “Did YOU leave that baggy there?”
Harris: “No, but I do surf!”
my guy my guy my guy. fuck that is annoying.
So bummed Alessa got the bolt-ons. I really don’t get the appeal of them.
Its a solid trip to the Ments then Macao for some ultra poon
Kook to the Max…
Post wank.
I feel bad, I want to send him a video of me fighting so he can laugh too.
Adriano was the first pool death, followed by the brain eating amoeba dude..
Holy fuck. Xox
Death by Slater Shade.
A godawful way to go.
scripted?
not The Onion…
The two surfers enter the water at knees depth.
Horn sounds.
They “fight” for 30 seconds, run back to retrieve boards and then paddle the distance of the “engine powered shoulder/barrel thing” to catch the thing.
Handbags at 50 meters.
Lotsa swinging and cussing tho….
Haha maybe a Karen should be the ultimate insult now.
Hey that’s really interesting, did he happen to find $50 at any point?
In the pool?
Just at any point, really
job opening: master diver needed to locate & retrieve lost personal items from the pool bottom. must have 10 years of profession metal detector experience. BYOB!