Jaws-like scenes in New York as beaches forced to close following five shark attacks in two days!

“Officials reported 200 sharks swimming fifty yards from the beach…”

The Sharks of NYC got many ways to make multiple incisions in every part of ya from your inner sanctum to your extremities. 

The Manhattan Hammer heads will bludgeon you into submission with tales from their night out at Chelsea with P-Diddy. The Bulls on Wall street could sell you on just-patented rocket jet packs to beat the AM rush hour. And the Tigers of the Bronx don’t show their stripes till ya hip is already three bags into their maw. 

And now, you can add the beaches of Long Island as another part of NYC that’ll mow the joy outta ya when you’re getting a reprieve from the summer months with a little ocean therapy. 

On Independence Day, sharks hit two swimmers at Fire Island (a place in the seventies that would make The Village People forget about the YMCA) and another swimmer in the Hamptons (many would say well deserved).

A 49-year-old man was bitten on the right hand as he paddled off Fire Island Pines. The second was the punctured  thigh of an adult woman as she swam in Cherry Grove. The third was a gash in the right knee of a 47-year-old man in chest-deep water in Southhampton.

Drones spotted swarms of sharks after the bites. 

The day before, a fifteen-year-old surfer was bitten at Kismit beach and a gal of the same age was hit on the leg while swimming near Robert Moses’ beach. 

Local surfers and fisherman say Thresher sharks are, likely, the culprits.

Robert Moses State Park, on Fire Island’s western end, opened to swimmers ninety minutes late Tuesday morning after officials spied a school of fifty sharks swimming two hundred yards from the beach. The school was believed to be made up of sand tiger sharks. The sharks grow between seven and ten feet long and are common in New York waters, but do not often swim in large schools.

Local experts say the sudden attacks can be attributed to cleaner water and the proximity of baitfish closer to the shore. Not to be forgotten is the Gulf Stream that travels up the eastern shores in the summer months from the Caribbean and swaddles our old friends in liquid  blankets so warm it could stir an appetite in an NYC fashion model during runway week.