I stand amid the roar of a surf-tormented shore.
Tear-hoo-poh-oh will open its window in exactly twenty-four hours. The forecast is bleak, continuing a year long trend for the World Surf League. Waves pumping before a contest, waves pumping after a contest, waves quiet during a contest. Oh it is not the World Surf League’s fault, how can the Santa Monica-based organization be blamed for nature, except is it?
Professional surfing’s governing body is, truly, a dumb pile of fraud that clearly and daily hates its own audience so much that maybe the universe herself bends an ear and grants a wish.
Take the departure of former CEO Erik Logan, for instance. The randy fella who forced us to observe his antics, daily, was disappeared without trace or explanation. Only through the hardest bit of surf journalism ever done in the history of surf journalism was any hint as to his demise revealed. The World Surf League buttoning up tight. But imagine that the NBA’s Adam Silver or the NFL’s Roger Goodell was fired overnight. There would be press inquires, certainly, but those leagues would also release details about what happened and why as they are both real and not fake.
But imagine that Russell Wilson, quarterback for the Denver Broncos, or LeBron James, power forward of the Los Angeles Lakers, broke his back in practice. There would be press discovery, no doubt, but those leagues would also release details about what happens and why as they are both real not fake.
The World Surf League’s continued insistence on appearing a hoax might be the actual truth, I suppose, at the end. An institution set up as a front for… what? Selling counterfeit ladders? Greenwashing the Great Wall of Motors?
Help.
Yah
Burnt Coffin buries Logan.
They needed time for the betting markets to open. Xox
Elo must be spewing. If Ethan had broken his back a few months ago, he’d have a go fund me’d Elo on a private jet en route to Tahiti with a camera crew… Saving Ethan; A six part docuseries of Elo lovingly nursing Ethan back to Straddie, nursing him to final 5… nursing him to the Olympics! Oh the narrative! Omfg imagine hubris! The squirting flagellation! It writes itself. I miss Elo 😔
I . Have . 24 . Hours …
Chas you mention the word fraudulent and make mention your a surf journalist. That in itself is fraud.
Having Read “WelcomeTo Paradise Now Go To Hell” I can attest to Chas being so much more than a surf journo. In fact I’d dare to say, the man is worthy of a Pulitzer after that supreme novel!
They didn’t need to break the story but once it becomes public record the League should certainly comment on it.
That organization is scared of their own shadow at this point. Not surprising they go mum on things like this and Elo so why don’t you tell us what Elo did, Charles? I don’t think this is a HIPAA thing with Elo.
Exactly as the Elo debacle should have had some acknowledgement of him passing by. Or passing on.
Fake yes but why the silence? Is it bc they don’t do bad news per the Wall of Positive Noise, is it bc they want to shield their newbie fans from the harsh reality that surfers get hurt and sometimes even die, is it that they don’t care about their athletes, don’t care about their fans, (and don’t care about the people of Maui), is it they don’t have adequate staff to cover it and are too busy preparing for Tear-hoo-poh-oh?
I’m a rationalist. I need a reason. But on second thought maybe I’m searching too hard and too far.
Maybe it’s, like you said, just a fake, front org. That sounded too cynical, over-simplistic, and conspiracy-minded. But more and more, it seems to be the best explanation, the truth.
And maybe the intuitive natural world senses the WSL’s fakeness and insincerity and so mother nature responds with the middle finger, by granting the league killer surf before and after but not during the fake contests.
the universe rewarding authenticity…an idea I could get behind
You know…there is a better than 50% chance that they just aren’t aware that Ethan is hurt.
Never occurred to me
Looking at Elo’s reign in the rearview mirror its fucked how much of the WSL’s media space he occupied for literally no reason. A real cult of personality. Glad he’s been memory holed
Heh. He lead a Cult of 1.
Chopes looking small n ugly this am.
Maybe some hope for Wed/Thurs next week.
if we are already looking forward to next weds/thurs, we have a problem! not looking good for the most anticipated event of the year
Pressure maps changing by the minute:
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Chas I am extremely disappointed you brought the ever underperforming Russell Wilson into this serious conversation. He doesn’t surf but he is arguably responsible for the greatest theft ever perpetrated on a franchise…due to his contract with the Denver Doncos
Thats going to change this season madeoff. Hackett was the problem
Walton family money is depending on that positive step in the right direction. Now we need to know if Ciara and Russ surf.
Is Terry Hardy still a principal shareholder in ZoSea, and still longtime manager for Kelly Slater?
Let’s assume Kelly Slater wants to run the WSL. Then surely he’s had discussions with Terry Hardy about how to effectuate that in a manner that Kelly demands. Wouldn’t Kelly approach this like Heats in his prime. Never out of game till the horn blows. Treat the WSL like the Phoenix rising from the ashes. Can’t be that Phoenix without the ashes, right?
Remember when Logan said in that Forbes article that brought up Beach Grit? 2018? Said the core of their business model is sponsorship revenue. Then that morphed into some JV production studio.
I believe this shit show is the whole point. The fraud of WSL Con Test one, two, check, one, two, one two is exactly the mic Kelly Slater wants to grab, so Terry Hardy has engineered this concerted effort to reduce the WSL to ashes.
I just find it hard to believe he would want to take that on. Pro contest surfing is a dying game in general given todays technology.
And you are way too conspiracy oriented for me.
Yet it is you that sees this as a conspiracy theory. Funny.
Granted, I’ve had to come up with new conspiracy theories because all the old ones came true, but this isn’t one of those times.
Terry is a principal of ZoSea. Why wouldn’t he offer the helm to Kelly. Without Professional Surfing what is Kelly? Seriously. It is all he knows. If the WSL is to survive, it must reinvent itself. If given the helm, Kelly would most certainly structure it like he approaches surfing. Chasing optimal conditions. Travel light. Be mobile. Use that technology you speak of to your advantage. It’s not a hindrance.
One last.thing, what would you call your recent rulings about the story behind the E-Lo exit? Conspiracy oriented?
Spoke to a certain Australian judge on the tour the other day and he said they were not told at all why he was sacked but said they were all shocked and thought something must have happened in Brazil.
I tend to point to conspiracy when the topic is based on conjecture. If you are correct about Kelly intentions and methods, he may be able to save the concept of contest surfing. And you are correct in that it must be re-invented from top to bottom, especially the judging.
When it comes to Elo, I am simply asking if anyone actually knows what happened. I am making no accusation whatsoever.
Any word from Barton on what transpired behind the scenes in order for him to edit out the word on the street for Elo’s axing? Cue’d it up below for all you miscreants:
https://youtu.be/g9glllIu_9…
is he wearing a Hurluley hat?
WSL released an injury update a couple days ago via Insta breaking the news that Ethan would not be competing, so I wouldn’t say they’ve been altogether mum about it.
And as for publishing something more detailed like “Ethan Ewing broke his back” without Ethan’s permission, the WSL probably would have violated California Civil Code Section 56.20 had it done that. Neither the NBA nor the NFL discloses non-public medical information about their players’ injuries either.
Hard to imagine what they have to gain by not saying anything. We all love to think something nefarious is at play but it far more likely avoiding violation of HIPAA laws.
there are certainly a lot of criticisms that should be made of the WSL, but this really isn’t one of them.
Actually I think it’s section 56.21
56.20 is ‘Blue and green should never be seen unless there’s something in between’
Chief of Garments xox
2023*