Tumbleweeds blow through 1 Billabong Place, Burleigh Heads, former ground zero of the world's biggest surf co.

It was a bleak yuletide last year when Billabong, part of a brace of surf companies then owned by Oaktree, and including Quiksilver and RCVA, sacked sixty employees from its Burleigh Heads HQ. 

The mass layoffs were designed to streamline the biz on paper, sharpen the bottom line.

“I am confident that these changes will set us on the path to achieving our goals and creating a more agile company suited to adapt to the evolving environment,” said Boardriders CEO Arne Arens in a press release, stating the very obvious. Kill the soldiers, fill in the trenches and watch your payroll bill vanish.

Industry insiders told The Gold Coast Bulletin, the sacking were “brutal especially just before Christmas. No one knew who was going to lose their jobs or keep them.”

Now, Billabong’s once-iconic eight acre compound, with parking for 466 cars, a two-storey stand-along retail store, all amid landscaped gardens and on its own little road, is being offered to rent. 

Need space for your burgeoning t-shirt biz? Here’s the sell.

The offering comprises:

• An impressive 2 level standalone retail/showroom fronting Billabong Place; and

• A 2 level office/warehouse building serviced via 2 driveway entries off Billabong Place and capturing around 14,937sqm of GLA across office, warehouse and retail/showroom and ancillary uses.

• Onsite café with outdoor breakout area available to building occupants and their visitors

Office Component:

The main building includes air-conditioned office space over 2 levels serviced via stairs and lift. The standard of office fitout is to a high level with the overall design reflective of the creative nature of the existing business with a blend of floor, ceiling and wall finishes reflecting different zones of the business, substantial breakout and meeting spaces for collaborative working, high ceilings and plenty of natural light. The office space is sub-dividable to suit larger users from 800sqm plus.

Warehouse Component:

The warehouse is 5,456sqm with 560sqm of mezzanine air-conditioned office, kitchen/breakout space, high clearance and loading docks. The access via 2 driveway points enables access for larger vehicles.

At its peak, Billabong was valued at five billion Australian dollars, with its marquee riders all on multi-million dollar salaries, but eventually sold for $390 mill or one dollar a share. A good sponno at Billys now is twenty grand and a small plastic zip-lock bag with stickers of a stylised wave.

Good news for consumers, howevs, as tees are now being schlepped at discount retailers for $13.99 instead of, what, fifty, sixty bucks?

“Don’t let the invading hordes be heard”

Finals Day, the one-day shootout for the men’s and women’s world titles, has taken a jingoistic turn following a post from the one-time CT surfer Kolohe Andino. 

Andino, whose phenomenal skill wasn’t allowed room to breathe on the world tour which led to his premature departure, posted a screed from Griffin’s shaper Matt Biolos, a literal call to arms from the Commie-hating, part Jewish millionaire. 

Along with a party where t-shirts emblazoned with “Here’s Griffin” will be sold, Andino hopes to  harness the power of American patriotism to give his BFF Griffin Colapinto a home-court advantage over his four opponents.

Yeah, Toledo lives in San Clemente, but Griff is home-grown, as much a part of San Clemente as Bear Jew Biolos and the juvenile Great Whites that prowl the lineups. 

And, while Ethan Ewing, Joao Chianca and Jack Robinson will also feature in the one-day showdown that’ll run on the best day between September eight and sixteen, Griff and Pip are the clear favs.

In a clipped staccato meter reminiscent of Hemingway after the plane crash that turned his formidable brain to weeds and channelling Jean Raspail, Biolos writes: “Are you a surfer? Living in San Clemente? Living in Southern CA? A fervent, lord even casual, follower of surfing competitions? Do you have a sense of support for your local or greater community? Do your duty in Sept, when it’s called on and the WSL Finals run,. Run from work, school and otherwise worldly responsibility to support a native son, as he defends his local turf, his local surf, against the world’s best. Get behind him. Stand in front, knee deep in cobblestones, cheering and let him know you’re here. In front. Right behind him. Don’t let the invading hordes be heard. Silence them with our local pride. With our local passion. Griffin Colapinto, of San San Clemente. Son of a school teacher. Will take on the World and battle for a World Surfing Title. At his home break. In September. The waves call the day. It’s so important to be there. Up front. Right behind him. Cheering. Cheering for Griffin. Cheering for your community. Everyone.” 

The support of surf-mad San Clemente is assured, I think, although what is less clear is how God will place his chips given Griffin’s recent swing to an ego-transcending spiritual practice from India and his new-found role as the Ghandi of Surfing. You’ll remember Kolohe Andino a believer in the Christian doctrine, issued a grave three-world theological warning to his pal writing, “No false idols.” 

Toledo, meanwhile, takes Christian dogma very seriously.

Time will tell etc.

 

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Wong joins Bethany Hamilton, Jesse Miley-Dyer, Keala Kennelly and Circe Wallace on Surf Equity's “Racist Anti-Trans Wall of Shame.”

After a wildly dominant performance against the best surfers in the world at Pipe two years back, Hawaiian Moana Jones Wong was the toast of surfing.

The baseball-bat swinging, send-the-king-of-the-Hui to jail hell-raiser Ian “Kanga” Cairns said, “She has singlehandedly put the WSL Women’s CT on her back and she’ll make Margaret River, Grajagan, Teahupoo and even Super Tubos electric.”

Now, the twenty four year old whose skills at Pipe tower over even the men’s world champion, has been slammed for wrong-think by Surf Equity, a “non-profit, which accepts all races, cultures, sexual orientations, gender identities, national origins, abilities, socioeconomic backgrounds, gender expressions, countries of origin, ethnicities, religions and genders”.

Surf Equity were made very sad after Water People, the podcast from off-the-grid living liberals Dave Rastovich and Lauren Hill featured an interview with Wong.

A little irony here. Hill made noise last year when she claimed The Surfer’s Journal “blatantly excludes female surfers, writers and photographers from the pages of TSJ”

(JP Currie wrote about that episode here.)

“What was the rationale behind Water People’s decision to feature a conversation with a prominent surfer, Moana Jones Wong, who was been associated with controversial statements?” Surf Equity posted.

“In 2023, Wong aligned herself with Bethany Hamilton in expressing views that were perceived as anti-trans and targeted towards LGBTQIA+ surfers. Additionally, Wong made comments questioning the competitive prowess of cisgender women in professional surfing, suggesting that they were inadequate in comparison to a trans woman. These incidents contribute to the rise of anti-trans sentiments within the pro surfing community, involving numerous athletes.”

You’ll remember when Surf Equity marched on Circe Wallace, wife of Chas Smith, a couple of months back, shortly after attacks on Bethany Hamilton, Keala Kennelly and Jesse Miley-Dyer.

As Smith reported,

“The openly left (too left, if you ask her husband) and ultra socially progressive Wallace, and one of the only female agents in extreme sports, was subjected to a most vicious smear with Surf Equity publishing, ‘Talent agent and former competitive snowboarder Circe Wallace is married to Chas Smith. Sadly, she pulls the strings on Chas’ misogynistic and anti-LGBTQIA+ rants.’

“Surf Equity added the equally triggering and libelous, ‘Chas Smith and Circe Wallace write and publish misogynist trash about the surf industry on their website BeachGrit,’ though Wallace has never written nor published a word and, much to her chagrin, is not included in the business documents of the biggest surf blog on earth.

“Rielly, left entirely out, tears certainly streaming down weathered cheeks, has not been reached for comment.”

Are you:

Pro-Wong or pro-Surf Equity in this latest stoush?

And, the eternal question:

Jock pussy or She Dick?

I lean towards the latter, as you know, but am open to strange fruit.