A happy place where Filipe Toledo can't get hurt (physically at least).
The former surf brand Hurley, main sponsor of last year’s world champion and this year’s world champion, the timid Filipe Toledo, has put competitors Quiksilver, Billabong, RVCA and Volcom on notice, hours ago, first teasing, then releasing the stupidest piece of surf adjacency yet.
You, certainly, thrilled days ago when Billabong and RVCA, all owned alongside Quiksilver and Volcom by Authentic Brands Group as of tomorrow, began dumping uncool t-shirts in Costco. The “Battle for Beard Oil” certainly on as the four onetime legitimate brands became simple logos ready to be slapped on hand sanitizer, blenders and spice cabinets.
An arms race with the aforementioned Hurley, owned by Bluestar Alliance, which slaps its simple logo on fingernail clippers, inflatable pool toys and dog collars.
Early betting was favoring Authentic Brands as they have four logos including a mountain plus wave, stylized wave, RVCA and “the stone” to Bluestar’s one )(.
Alas, Hurley’s genius should never have been doubted for, days ago, the logo’s Instagram account teased something that looked dumb, declaring, “Something big is coming… 8.30.23”

But how dumb would it be?
Dumber than even the most bullish could imagine.
Introducing The Hurleyverse™.
“Surf the wave of web3, Hurley style with the Hurley Super Surfer video game. Power up your gameplay by collecting Hurley Sand Dollars, surf with a customizable NFT sloth, and more. Link in bio to learn more and download now.”

The only change I can suggest is making the sloth a cowardly lion instead and make the wave a shallow barreling left so that surf fans could make the li’l guy paddle.
Otherwise, ball’s in your court Authentic Brands Group.
Can we choose the surfers? like..pick Toledo to Surf chopes??
Here’s Johnny…and Stevie…wonder….
Also featuring a problematic caricature of an Arabic-looking pirate launching bombs at the titular surf hero. Possible commentary on a hostile UAE-led takeover of the WSL? https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
slippahs and a machete to boot.
Oh my god this is so racist I’m never buying Hurley board shorts ever again outrage outrage outrage racist triggered arghhhh
Looks like someone was watching Archer before they drew the pirate.
https://youtu.be/zi28GN50iB…
depp v heard?
a four or five bouncer cobble…
I hold my head up high knowing I have not given any of my hard earned dollars towards Felipe’s salary.
Good!
Me, I will not spend a penny on any of his sponsors’ products, until me grows a pair of balls and starts charging Pipe and Chopes.
I probably won’t spend any regardless!
NFTs and Web3 are so 2021, don’t these dorks know the new hotness is genai?
Never mind Hurley (“beard oil” or is it anal lube?)… pfft, dull as fuck.
I’m awaiting Hurluleyverse. Fun ahoy!
Move over (slowly) NFT sloth, make way for the mind of channelbottom.
they’re totally trading on Hurluley’s cred calling themselves Hurley
no balls, all courts
Giant asteroid can’t arrive soon enough.