"If this doesn’t prioritize our crisis here, our emergency that we’re all living and experiencing, I don’t know what will.”

Now, there are many, many, many things that can ruin a good surf. Forgetting to properly wax board, lingering in parking lot until the wind picks up, chatting with pal while wave of the day feathers just right there, eye-catching man or woman being lightly too provocative, the smell of fresh sizzling carne asada wafting on a warm breeze.

The latter is of particular trouble in California’s very southern San Diego County where a weird piling fence thing from about 100 yards into the Pacific and up the sand separates Mexico from the United States of America. President Joe Biden, fulfilling campaign promises to his most liberal base, has bulldozed environmental concerns and is adding to his predecessor’s border wall while expelling who families from icky places like Venezuela. That’s all mostly happening points east, though, leaving California open to south-of-the-boarder distractions.

Like aroma of fresh sizzling carne asada or, even more problematic, al pastor slowly spinning on a spit, pineapple nearby.

Yum.

Well, the San Diego County Air Pollution Control District (SDAPCD) has decided to take matter into its own hands and will measure the air quality near the Tijuana River Valley by figuring out what’s in it by setting up six new “odor sensors” in Imperial Beach.

Hydrogen sulfide and sulfur dioxide are the main focus for the odors,” Kevin Bradley, a senior chemist at SDAPCD told San Diego’s local ABC affiliate. “It’s a quality of life issue. It can affect mental health, you know, your appetite, all sorts of different things to be able to smell something that terrible. All these compounds contribute to poor air quality. However, the gasses that are of most concern in the Tijuana River Valley are sulfur dioxide and hydrogen sulfide, with hydrogen sulfide being the main culprit that causes the pungent odor associated with sewage and wastewater. Sulfur dioxide typically does not produce odor at ambient levels but can provide additional information on hydrogen sulfide levels.”

Imperial Beach Mayor Paloma Aguirre was happy about the odor sensors but also frustrated. “It’s unfortunate that we have to present hard data to make our case, right?” She said. “It’s very obvious we are having environmental impacts, public health impacts, impacts to our local economy. If this doesn’t prioritize our crisis here, our emergency that we’re all living and experiencing, I don’t know what will.”

I guess I didn’t know that melty panela cheese let off sulphur dioxide though, I’d imagine, it would be difficult sitting down for a boring old hamburger or slab of ketchup smeared meatloaf in Imperial Beach and being forced to smell grilled octopus and cilantro would be a huge bummer.

I surfed through the border, once, in Imperial Beach. Paddling from California to Mexico and actually had tacos on the beach right there.

Cutting the session short.

If I recall, I wasn’t allowed to paddle back and a pal had to come pick me up.

He had tacos too.

Terror nigh.

Any surfer who has had the good fortune of traveling to Bali has certainly experienced the vast pleasures contained on, and around, the Island of the Gods. From playful monkeys who gently steal sunglasses to curious visitors learning to ride motor scooters for the very first time, Bali is feast for the senses to say nothing of the waves.

Uluwatu, Nusa Lembongan, Canggu and Kuta, just to name a tiny few. In the water Brazilians share with Frenchman who, in turn, share waves with Australians. Afterward they all toast Bintangs and marvel at their blessings.

But alas, a hideous plague is manifesting, painful and unsightly, confusing to general practitioners (doctors) and a brave bogan is issuing a dire warning to other “Bali Bogans.”

The Tomcat Beatle.

The pestilence, which delivers an unsightly, painful rash, is most common in wet areas and, well, from the source herself:

“Noticed a blister on my leg at dinner after sitting outside… on a cane chair. The next day it blistered, burst and I noticed the scar like marks across my skin. I applied betadine and after I got home I’ve been on antibiotics… after some googling I figured out what it was. I felt nothing and saw nothing.”

She traveled home completely disfigured.

The Tomcat Beatle doesn’t actually bite its victim, but dares bleed on him or her when being drunkenly squished, leaves a toxin on the skin that flares hard.

Dieter Hochuli, ecologist and University of Sydney professor, said “Brushing them away can add to the problem, as you end up smoodging the toxin in the direction of the brush and spreading it. That’s why lots of the blisters look quite linear.”

Smoodging?

In any case, the best thing to do is wash the area with cool and soapy water or, maybe, Bintang.

It generally takes a day or two for symptoms to appear but then weeks for them to go away, making it awkward and weird when trying to suntan post surf.

Best practice is to hide in the dark like a mutant and NOT surf.

More as the story develops.

Super "sick."

While, from the outside, it may seem like a California surfer’s life is all milk and honey, good times and chill vibes, it can get rough and tough in the Golden State. From too many converted vans taking up the prime beachfront parking spaces to the sun shining in eyes when it sets, globs of tar that, occasionally get stuck to the bottom of feet to former World Surf League CEO Erik Logan prowling around… Not easy.

Thankfully, the almost universally adored governor, Gavin Newsom, just signed a new law raising the mandatory sick days workers get from three to five.

“Too many folks are still having to choose between skipping a day’s pay and ‘taking care of themselves’ or their family members when they get ‘sick,’” Newsom declared. “We’re making it known that the ‘health and wellbeing’ of workers and their families is of the utmost importance for California’s future.”

“Taking care of themselves,” “sick” and “health and wellbeing” all clearly dogwhistles for surfers.

With these two extra “sick days,” it will be much easier for the state’s hardened wave sliders to maximize the swell that is sure to be whipped up thanks to El Niño.

Newsom and his allies in the legislature, in another wink to surfers, rejected the California Chamber of Commerce-supported alternative bill that would allow for five days, as well, but also require employees to provide “proof of the reason for their absence.”

Buzzkills, man.

“Cooler” heads prevailed, though.

Super “sick.”

Do you remember when Governor Newsom closed beaches during Covid and “fined” surfers?

Another solid wink wink.

The wave sliders’ friend.