Matthew McConaughey clashes with John John Florence at Kelly Slater’s $1000-per wave Surf Ranch!

But blink and you’ll miss!

It’s been three weeks since Matthew McConaughey, star of Surfer, Dude, and The Beach Bum, delivered his spine-tingling world title showdown speech to Griffin Colapinto.

Hey Griff, I want to get your ear before you get all in your head about this world title business. I want to share a perspective that has helped a lot of my dreams come true.

It’s called be less impressed and more involved. You see, when we are just impressed our dreams are nothing but fairytale dust clouds that we bend our neck to see and never grab a-hold of.

But, where we’re involved, we grab a-hold of those clouds. We grab that fairy dust. We look ‘em in the eye and make ‘em a reality.

You see, this moment that you are in, right now, right here, is a classic yin and yang. It’s a balance of make it happen, let it come. The reason…and… the rhyme. The balance of the engineered and the mystical.

And, the hard work and the dedication and the principals and the goals you have committed to, you engineered those. A hundred percent fact! And the mystical, that stuff that sends you a set wave you need with fifteen seconds on the clock in the final heat of the final event. That out-of-body stuff at that precise moment you need an 8.89 to decide the world title and you surf your way to a nine. Yeah! You gotta keep your antenna tuned to that music as well!

Now, look, it is no accident that you are here right now. Hell, you called your shot a long time ago. These heights that you’re on, now this is your new normal. It’s where you belong. On the way to where you are going!

So remember, how you got here, look this moment in the eye, and own it. Cause the roof is a manmade thing, Griff, and…you…have no lid.

So…fly…

 

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History tells us that not even the fiery words of the Academy Award-winning actor could inspire the San Clementine to unseat world champ Filipe Toledo in the little waves.

Now, Daddy McConaughey, who is fifty-three, has been spotted at the WSL-owned Surf Ranch clashing with two-time world champ John John Florence.

Using the medium of Strider Wasilewski’s Instagram we are privy to McConaughey flexing his goofyfooter bona fides on a soft foam surfboard, handling the wave as smoothly as if he was operating an elevator. One flick of his famous hips and McConaughey floats off the back of the wave. His sex appeal runs out of his pores and oils his skin.

And, here, John John Florence, uses a jetski step-off to claim the wave, the view of his surfing so extraordinary that it is hard to do anything but stare at the screen silently.

Not WSL colour commentator Strider Wasilewski, oft noted for his vicious steroidal tits, of course.

“Bingo Bango Surf Ranch Tango…. Let the good times roll!” says Strider emphatically.

 

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