"Half-hearted attempts to paddle in from the shoulder, scattering at the approach of every big set..."
When Sam George speaks, vulnerable adult learners listen. Those who picked up Wavestorms since, or during, Covid need much advice. Unlike us, they didn’t get to hear rumors of rumors about the way to do things from crusty elders. There was no one to shame them on the beach for leashing far up the beach then tripping on it all the way to water’s edge. No one to curse them thoroughly for “being there.”
And so Sam George.
The self-proclaimed Maverick has has found a perfect platform in order to share wisdoms and truths with the clueless. Those tender technology workers and lower-level pharmaceutical salespeople who discovered the health and wellness qualities of surfing plus “the stoke.” These timid hordes used to direction.
The “definitive voice of surfing.”
The latest bit of Maverick advice?
How to approach the “unceded land of the indigenous Ramaytush Ohlone tribe.”
Otherwise known as “San Francisco.”
In short, and first, they should enjoy “fun to medium-sized waves at Kelly’s Cove.” The Big Kahuna left it up to his charges to discern the difference between “fun” and “medium-sized.” Second, paddle Fort Point, the “world’s most picturesque surf spot.” Third, head down to Deadman’s, a very localized wave. Fourth, Ocean Beach, of course, where they can properly get in the way.
Last, book passage on a boat and viciously mock those who surf Maverick’s.
There’s the 50 surfers out there, rafting up in their never-deployed Quiksilver and Patagonia inflatable vests, occasionally making half-hearted attempts to paddle in from the shoulder, scattering at the approach of every big set,” he writes, twisting the knife with “but at the end of the day being able to say (so long as nobody asks to see any of their waves on Surfline’s cam rewind) that yeah, they were out at Maverick’s,” before concluding, “You’ll experience every truly awesome Maverick’s moment that the shoulder jockeys do – and like just them, with your hair dry.
Ouch!
Has any collection of surfers been so burned?
Are you one of those Maverick’s barneys?
How does that make you feel?
You are amongst friends.
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This kook is inventing stories about fictitious surfers and then lampooning them for it.
“But at the end of the day being able to say (so long as nobody asks to
see any of their waves on Surfline’s cam rewind) that yeah, they were
out at Maverick’s”
That’s the definition of a straw man. At least when Jen does it, it’s obviously self deprecating.
This guy and his brother are insufferable kooks. Is he the one who lives in Bali?
Sitting on the edge of the lineup at Mavs, knowing Mr. White is circling below and massive waves roll through takes more balls than Sam George has had bounce off his chin.
A broken clock is right twice a day.
I’ve been trying to “ramaytush” for decades dude. Every time I shoplift lube there’s never roofies around so use it on myself. Why do they call their site xhamster? Weird, that hamster action never got me an Oscar for sucking on Debra Winger’s weird titties. How good are hotdogs?
Weird? I just googled it and the chick had perfectly normal titties. Think that your 40 year old references may be ageing poorly.
My one and only time at Mavericks I paddled out alone a couple of days before Mark Foo died. Back then there wasn’t a pack of people every time it broke. It wasn’t huge but the bowl was pitching top to bottom.
I paddled out to the left. I couldn’t figure out where the peak was going to pop up, so I hung out way on the mushy shoulder and shoulder-hopped a couple then paddled in.
Back then I would surf triple overhead clean up sets at Ocean Beach alone all the time.
Matt George can fuck himself. Mavericks is scary and I have plenty of respect for the people paddling out there. I don’t think they’re doing it to brag afterwards. More like hoping just the right one comes through in the right place at the right time to get chipped in, survive the bowl and get a good one. Not everyone is good enough to airdrop 30 ft waves, doesn’t mean you can’t still be out there and just maybe luck into one that works out. Takes balls just to be in the water around the thing.
And PS, what a total fucking twat to tell people to go surf Dead Man’s. Dickhead.
I’ve met guys on surf trips who talked about surfing Mavs but struggled when it got bigger than head high. I’ve met more than one too.
I know nothing about you but the fact you paddled out solo pre safety equipment and water rescue and still went is legit.
Respect to you…I visited there just a few days after Foo passed, his leash and flowers wrapped around a signpost. No one there, I thought it looked like a shorebreak peak out somewhere…dirty brown, top to bottom. I couldnt judge the scale at all. Maybe 12ft swell by then…. Probs the smallest of that long run of 20 plus swell… I got trapped up in Ferndale cause of the rain. Surf was big there too. My 7’6″? haha no surf for me. Nor anyone else really
Yeah interesting. It’s a trip to think. How back before the internet even just in the ’90s there were so many spots that so few people knew existed. Or if you did it just wasn’t tenable to figure out when to show up.
Weird now to think that Mavericks could be glassy and perfect at the minimum size to be properly breaking and most of the day on many days there’s just no one out. Now we live in this current era where it seems like everyone knows exactly precisely what the surf is doing all the time, and it’s the norm for people to do big drives and jump on planes to catch wherever it’s working. I do miss being a kid, when surfing was 90 percent walking down to your same local spot and having a look with the same smaller set og people. I’m glad I had that.
The way you describe looking at smaller but working Mavericks is so perfectly spot on, It does look like a beach break a frame, no big deal. But the distances are deceiving and it’s still fucking big. I have a couple grainy pictures of that day somewhere. If I can dig up I’ll attach a link. Cheers bruh
Im from way back!! Almost 70, so yeah, just showing up everyday, regardless of conditions was part of it, ride something, anything….times change for sure. Everything, Everywhere, All the Time…….not sure I could deal with it now. Still get little empty sessions around here, If only I wasnt such a loser surfer now!!
Jeez man, no one warns you….”someday, you will be a total helpless kook again, knocked silly by teeny waves”….haha…guess it balances out.
Assume you up north, stay warm, get some good ones man,
ps….Mavs? Plenty of slabs around, just need the stupid storm track to behave.
What about the kooks that paddle out in surfclub type ski thingy’s and then go arround telling everyone yea i was out in the last peak swell and yea picked up a couple ( swell lines) at some bombie , they are such bullshit kooks.
you’re always gona get that, Ive even seen questionable people on guns out at Cloudbreak on big days
Back in 2015 one of my best friends Steve was dying of terminal cancer and wanted to feel the power of the waves and hear them break one more time, so we went out on a boat for the Mavericks contest.
It doesn’t feel like you’re in the lineup. We kept having to circle in a big loop with all the other charter boats. Waves looked far away.
Pic of OB taken by him.
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OB can be so fricken gnarly!
good on you for helping your friend, c4 ♥️
That circle jerk with the Coasties policing it is hilarious.
They sat with their boat in between the lineup and all the charter boats the whole time. Went out on a boat from Half Moon Bay Sportfishing called Queen of Hearts. Maybe you know them.
I do know them well.
Hopefully the new messiah will convince all the kooks to cut their own balls off like those wacky heaven’s gate kids.
According to my secret sauce (who once met Sam George’s bald brother), ELo has been sighted in Abu Dhabi.
The very same Abu Dhabi that is soon to unveil the world’s longest wavepool.
Maybe the rumors about ELo leaving the woosl after doing the dirty on Dirky and getting his own slice of the wavepool pie, through a management contract clause, aren’t just rumors after all…
P.S.
The top brass at F.T.L. may soon be in negotiations with Abu Dhabi for worldwide ladder rights at future pay per view events.
JFK! real journalism! I’m shocked!
Ha, maybe Elo and Dirk will have the last laugh here Chas, these billionaires and media types, aren’t always as dumb as they look.
Maybe Elo was, is, just working undercover.
This actually seems more likely, as it seems no hard facts ever came out of Brazil.
Think Elo may be playing Chas, like a fiddle, (idiomatic: to skillfully manipulate someone).
booked on “Hot One’s” sucking down sauce? broth and UPS deliveries of leftover scallops from the VTA ChartHouse…BuffaloWingMan~
Wots FTL?
I think it’s how they power the Enterprize in Star Trek.
From now on, when you take a first name, just take one name and end it.
Fuck, hope the cunt didn’t see me at La Nord last week. Wore my 3/2 for buoyancy as opposed to my 2mm.
Xox
Haha, surfed Mundaka 3-6 foot last Friday. Only about 300 surfers AND one person in an Impact vest. Respect!
Which is why I stayed away and somehow scored solis Santosha solo and had a rad time. Got worked on the shorey on my departure though.
Just watch animal kingdom, the gay bro rips man.
My wife thinks the gay guy is cute. I was hoping it would lead to role-play but she just says I’m too fat and she has a headache. I low-key like the mom on that show. She seems like she knows her way around a party.
How hot was young Smurf 🔥
Thank You for recognizing the True, Rightful owners of “San Franpoopo”.
Sam needs a little fiction in his life. I boldly suggest watching “Chasing Mavericks…” then writing…”start out at Cowell’s, skateboard some pools, work at a pizza place, fall for the blond gal, wake up your hungover mom and get her to work…then proceed to conquer Steamer’s…”
New edit: Err, Put on the Breaks
“Influenced by your absent pop, spend dazes counting swell periods and fall head first from a cliff and nearly drown before getting rescued by
Gerard ButlerSam George.”The End
The Waimea lineup is full of intermediates and kooks too, but least their failings are in direct view of the public.
The VAL messiah, Sam George.
The prophet SamuVAL
When a set comes in at Mav’s – separates the men from the boys real fast.
The crowd makes it somewhat more dangerous then the wave itself.
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