Sam George (insert) mocking. Photo: Maverick's
Sam George (insert) mocking. Photo: Maverick's

Surf guru viciously mocks those who surf Maverick’s!

"Half-hearted attempts to paddle in from the shoulder, scattering at the approach of every big set..."

When Sam George speaks, vulnerable adult learners listen. Those who picked up Wavestorms since, or during, Covid need much advice. Unlike us, they didn’t get to hear rumors of rumors about the way to do things from crusty elders. There was no one to shame them on the beach for leashing far up the beach then tripping on it all the way to water’s edge. No one to curse them thoroughly for “being there.”

And so Sam George.

The self-proclaimed Maverick has has found a perfect platform in order to share wisdoms and truths with the clueless. Those tender technology workers and lower-level pharmaceutical salespeople who discovered the health and wellness qualities of surfing plus “the stoke.” These timid hordes used to direction.

The “definitive voice of surfing.

The latest bit of Maverick advice?

How to approach the “unceded land of the indigenous Ramaytush Ohlone tribe.”

Otherwise known as “San Francisco.”

In short, and first, they should enjoy “fun to medium-sized waves at Kelly’s Cove.” The Big Kahuna left it up to his charges to discern the difference between “fun” and “medium-sized.” Second, paddle Fort Point, the “world’s most picturesque surf spot.” Third, head down to Deadman’s, a very localized wave. Fourth, Ocean Beach, of course, where they can properly get in the way.

Last, book passage on a boat and viciously mock those who surf Maverick’s.

“There’s the 50 surfers out there, rafting up in their never-deployed Quiksilver and Patagonia inflatable vests, occasionally making half-hearted attempts to paddle in from the shoulder, scattering at the approach of every big set,” he writes, twisting the knife with “but at the end of the day being able to say (so long as nobody asks to see any of their waves on Surfline’s cam rewind) that yeah, they were out at Maverick’s,” before concluding, “You’ll experience every truly awesome Maverick’s moment that the shoulder jockeys do – and like just them, with your hair dry.”


Has any collection of surfers been so burned?

Are you one of those Maverick’s barneys?

How does that make you feel?

You are amongst friends.

Surfer Shane Dorian wades into Hamas vs Israel fracas with Joe Rogan

“Is this the last days of normal civilisation?” asks Smoking Joe Rogan.

The insanely popular podcaster, and rare voice of the centre with perhaps a slight right-ish lean, Joe Rogan, has taken on the mighty task of examining the Hamas v Israel war with the big-wave superstar Shane Dorian.

Shane Dorian, whom you’ll remember from his epic debut on BeachGrit in 2014 where he instructed readers on how to catch a twenty-foot wave and maybe a little later later when he discussed what it’s like to have a pretty baby deer die in your arms, joined Rogan for what is mostly a talk about stem cell treatment, hunting and eating meat.

All pet topics for Joe Rogan.

All very good, all well told by two charismatic men, interesting anecdotes fluttering between the two, nothing hysterical, just a couple of good ol boys doin’ what they do.

It lights up when Shane Dorian steers the conversation towards the Hamas v Israel war, which began on October 7 after Hamas terrorists, also the democratically elected government of Gaza, fed their blood lust for killing Hebes, prompting an understandable retaliation by the besieged Jewish nation.

“I don’t know if this is going to take us down a rabbit hole but…” says Dorian.

“I like rabbit holes,” says Joe.

“I was just…tripping” says Dorian, “We’re here in your studio talking about bow-hunting and food and there’s a war, there’s, like, people putting missiles together into some launcher thing right now and (Dorian makes launch and explosion sounds)…psssssh…pfffffow!”

“Israel’s about to invade Gaza,” says Joe. “They’re talking about a ground invasion of Gaza.”

“That’s so gnarly!” said Dorian.

“It’s so terrifying because we’re so close to World War III,” says Joe. “We’re so close.”

“It’s no joke, man,” says Dorian.



Olympic surfing seeks influencer to “Tap into Tahiti!”

Desperately seeking the next Joe Turpel!

The 2024 Olympics is almost here. This summer will see various runners, swimmers and fencers descending upon Paris, France. It will also see surfers purchasing tickets and flying halfway across the world to Tahiti. Yes, Teahupo’o will host the wave sliding portion of the Games though trouble is brewing. Protestors, for example, are publicly very angry about organizers replacing the wooden judging tower on the reef with a mangy aluminum one. Sitting world champion, Filipe Toledo, is privately fuming that his least favorite wave will determine who is adorned in gold.

Well, in any case, America’s National Broadcasting Corporation, which holds the rights to Olympic coverage, is excited about it all and actively seeking an influencer to cover the fireworks. NBC sent out a casting call, overnight, seeking a “content creator” to make TikToks for the surf fan audience.

Tap in to Tahiti

The program, which will select its candidate based upon “skills, style, technical expertise and ability to inspire,” is asking applicants to send a 30-second video. The bold and beautiful are instructed to describe a “gold-medal worthy day” at the beach. They are required to use the hashtag #TapIntoTahiti2024.

While you might be tempted to participate, I think the leading candidate must be OnlyFans star Nathan Florence. He is a fine performer in Tahiti already.

Or maybe movie star handsome Ben Gravy.

Recently disgraced Selema Masekela certainly in desperate need of help to “tap in to” anything?

The handicapped boy who couldn’t duck dive Pipeline?

Do you have any better ideas?

While you are thinking, do you imagine this influencer push by NBC is a slight mistake? That the executives and producers don’t know that youth participation in surfing has plummeted?

You’ll remember when Derek Rielly reported a couple of years back when the “organisers of a surfing contest in New Zealand were forced to add a new age-group after an eighty-year-old kneeboarder signed up.”

Maybe the kneeboarder should give the influencer gig a go.

Tahiti time.

Food for thought.

The great Joey Cabell sliding through secrets.
The great Joey Cabell sliding through secrets.

Surf-adjacent rumor rocks NBA on season opener!

The NBA game is fast and fun. The playoff format is sensible and does not end at Lower Trestles. And its rumors sizzle like bacon!

The surf world is small but it does have tentacles everywhere. Like, someone knows someone knows someone who knows a surfer. And, thus, we find ourselves on the Hawaiian island of Oahu. But before we dig in, are you a fan of professional basketball at its highest level? The World Surf League of that sport, called the National Basketball Association, is, by my account, the finest there is.

The NBA game is fast and fun. Its stars shine brightly, dating and marrying starlets. The playoff format is sensible and does not end at Lower Trestles. There have been whole wonderful and different basketball eras. Showtime, Bird and the Parish, Dead Ball, the reign of His Airness, twenty years of Bron, and more.

Winning Time

But back to Oahu where we find our hero, Joey Cabell. Now, you must recall the “finest all-around surfer in the world,” circa the 1960s. He was one of the first thread the tube, re-engaged with surfing as boards got shorter and, most importantly, co-founded the Chart House restaurant.

Have you ever eaten at a Chart House? It is one of the greatest pleasures of mid-40s life. I recommend going early, at 5:00 pm or such and ordering a Grey Goose dirty martini with blue cheese olives and a dozen oysters with your better half. Next, share a prime rib with jus and extra fresh horseradish. Add one side salad et voila.

The first Chart House was in… I can’t remember. The second, Honolulu, I think, where Cabell lived. At the time, he was married to Los Angeles Laker star Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s ex-wife.

Well, The Captain allegedly told her, when they were coupled, that other Laker star Magic Johnston and Piston’s dynamo Isiah Thomas had some sort of “special relationship.”


Even if you cannot believe, that is why the NBA is > than the WSL.


If two professional surfers were to carry on, secretly, which two would you most wish for?

Nice choice.

David Lee Scales and I, anyhow, discussed this bombshell alongside… you know, I can’t remember that either. Take some headphones down to your local Chart House on a journey of discovery and enjoy.

Foil-boarder hit by whale
"Took me down about 20, 30 feet. I was able to escape by my leash breaking."

Breaching whale collides with wing foil surfer in near decapitation and drowning!

"It landed straight on top of me and took me down twenty or thirty feet!"

In a scene similar to an 18-wheel semi truck swinging into your blind spot and impacting with the force of an Israeli Python air-to-air missile, a Sydney wing foil surfer had a whale breach and land on his chest while foiling.

Surfer Jason Breen, who is fifty-five, was foiling at Mona Vale on Sydney’s northern beaches when nature’s own IED (Improvised Explosive Device) decided to break the surface and detonate.

“I knew it was a whale. I saw the head come out, then I saw the body come out and then I saw the whole thing above me. It got bigger and bigger. It landed straight on top of me,” Jason told local news.

“Took me down about twenty-thirty feet. I was able to escape by my leash breaking. When it came down on top of me it got caught on my leash then it dragged me down with it. Something that’s not meant to break, broke. Thats why I’m here today.”


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Jason said it felt like a calf because as he was surfacing and his face was rubbing against the whale’s skin he didn’t feel any barnacles.

If there were, he says, his face would have been torn to threads.

Jason, who now calls himself The Whale Guy, is lucky he crossed paths with the kid and not his mama.

Even better she wasn’t around as we all know the wrath a feral beast gets possessed by when its offspring is threatened or even approached.

Wing foil surfing, of course, is a thrilling water sport that has gained popularity in recent years, combining elements of windsurfing, kiteboarding, and stand-up paddleboarding.

Enthusiasts of this exciting activity ride the waves while holding onto a handheld wing, which resembles a small sail.

It represents the cutting edge of modern water sports.