Sean Penn, with Vans shoes, Fast Times at Ridgemont High and, inset, John John Florence wins the Pipeline Masters.
Sean Penn's famous Vans scene from Fast Times at Ridgemont High and, inset, John John Florence wins last-ever significant Pipeline Masters in 2021. | Photo: Fast Times at Ridgemont High/WSL

How Vans and WSL destroyed surfing’s most prestigious cultural relic The Pipeline Masters

“There's nothing like (the Pipeline Masters) for showcasing the sport at its absolute staggering best," says Nick Carroll.

Once upon a time, well, until two years ago, the most prestigious surfing contest in the world was the Pipeline Masters, a tuberiding event held at Pipe on Oahu’s North Shore. 

The Pipeline Masters was created in 1971 by the wonderful Fred Hemmings, one of the pivotal figures in surfing whose contribution to the game was largely ignored ‘cause of his conservative bent, and won that year by Jeff Hakman, followed by two years of dominance by Mr Pipe Gerry Lopez.

The Pipeline Masters was a contest whose crown was almost as gilded as a world title. Slater would win it seven times, as a twenty year old in 1992, and aged almost forty-two in 2013. Andy Irons won four times, 2002 through 2008, and it hosted multiple world title showdowns, the most precious Andy v Kelly in 2003 and Italo v Gabriel in 2019. 

In a wild and fitting last breath, it gifted victory to John John Florence in 2021. The Hawaiian took his iron hard-on and blew the achey pressure in his balls into his first, and only, Pipe Masters crown. Fitting that his little brother Ivan, who also grew up at Pipe and who looks like a roughed up Mason Ho, scored a ten in the event and finished third. 

Then, and as you may recall, a hammer was taken to this precious cultural relic when the WSL, and Vans who own the intellectual property rights to the Pipeline Masters, couldn’t swing a mutually satisfying agreement with Billabong for ‘em to continue as naming sponsor of the event. 

See, because the WSL’s wanted to start the 2022 season in Hawaii and end it at Trestles in September, they had to run the 2021 Pipe Masters in January. Therefore there couldn’t be two events in the same year so the usual December slot wasn’t used. 

This meant that for 2022, the WSL had to juggle the events and come up with new dates and names.  

The Volcom Pipe Pro got dropped in favour of Billabong taking over that slot, renaming it, awkwardly, Billabong Pro Pipeline. 

The Pipeline Masters still runs on its usual dates, December 8-20, 2022, but it’s an invite-only event with a focus on Vans-sponsored surfers. Cash is good, broadcast is fun, the gals get their share of the waves and loot, but it ain’t no Pipeline Masters. 

Last year, it got vacuumed of its stars when John John, Kelly, Toledo, Medina, Ferreira and Gilmore all pulled out citing injuries and “scheduling conflicts”. 

This year, Vans ain’t even pretending to invite the best in the biz. 

Problem here is the confusion the switcharoo brings to surfing history. A week before his fiftieth birthday in 2022, Kelly Slater, looking like an old-school bull dagger with his thick neck and shaved head, won the Billabong Pro Pipeline.

It should’ve been his eighth Pipeline Masters title, and plenty of newsrooms were labelling it as such.

Between sobs Slater said, “I committed my life to this.”

But it wasn’t a Pipeline Masters title.

And, despite Wikipedia being edited to include Billabong Pro Pipeline titles, it still ain’t and never will be.

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Ian Cairns’ proctologist

a roughed up mason ho…. wtf?

PRN

Vans is blowing it. They should shelf the Masters until they can have a real competition with the worlds best. They should start a new comp at Off The Wall. What a bunch of losers.

Low wide stinkbug stance

Imagine you’re vans and the WSL tells you that unless you sell them pipe and the triple crown, the WSL will remove accreditation, so the WSL surfers will be forbidden from competing.

This is why Vans are being cunts about it, and so they should.

Vans are smart enough to know that the WSL is going to go tits up sooner or later.

If it really goes to shit, vans are in the box seat to make pipe be a one off event every year that determines the world champ. A bit like the Smirnoff, though of course that was an unofficial title.

PRN

Of course the WSL is blowing it and sucks. But, like I said, VANS sucks for having a Pipe Masters without the worlds best. All these “pipe masters” they are having are BS and the winners will never be true Pipe Masters. Shelve it and start a new contest at Off The Wall or something.

Low wide stinkbug stance

Pipe is a bit weird though when you look at the winners list. I mean Robbie Page won and it wasn’t even held at pipe. There’s a lot of guys who won it fair and square but who never in a hundred years would you think pipe master.

At least if they hold it for locals you can be pretty sure it’s going to be won by a guy who is a bloody good pipe surfer.

PRN

Fair enough. Good argument. Balaram is a solid Pipe surfer. I remember the year Bede won- that was like 2-3 foot. But all these newbie chicks invited is just a trip.

Mochillupo

we need more Pipelining.
Start the year there, finish the year there, middle it there and throw in Bells to balance.

7dollarsurfboard

According to the WSL 8.8billion people watched the final.

tim_nelsen

since i found out how to click on aged BG blogs, I’d like to post this blast from the past by Mapski..

A Universal TRUTH BOMB:

“While we are at it, I’d like to thank the WSL for ending global warming,
sexism and coral bleaching, and selling me this lovely Lycra Jake
Marshall singlet.”

Rich Marx

My theory is that it was a WSL coup led by Elo to take the power that the Billabong marketing guy lost after getting slapped in the face. The inability to pick wildcards and requiring a certain number of surfers in the water gets in the way of “telling a story”. Incompatible with the final five concept so the Pipe contest had to get neutered.

Keith Grace

Just wait til VF Corporation swallows whole ABG, or vice-versa, or some other 23-year-old, coked-out hedge fund manager from Northern New Jersey buys them all out. Pipe wave pool Masters here we come…

PRN

I bet ABG buys the WSL and rights the ship. Weird feeling. I may be wrong though.

John Wayne

Where is NC’s writing these days ? Miss his contributions in all for(u)ms of the surf world. Never always agreed with them. But he was generally balanced and was not afraid to shoot from the hip on the odd occasion. Always insightful. The book on his brother was a quality piece.

Low wide stinkbug stance

Interesting take Derek.

By the way how many surfers were in the very first comp and what was it called? – Answer:

6, and it wasn’t even called pipe masters.

This is all about the WSL trying to railroad vans into selling it to them, just like they strongarmed surfing vic into selling them bells.

The wsl is worthless if it doesn’t own the IP. Huge risk of a rebel tour because no one can own the surf breaks except of course the ks pool. Hence they are trying to own pipe masters and gives them an asset to sell.

What would you do if you were vans? Sell it to a bunch of gimps who won’t even be here in 5 years?

justiceminister

Give it yet another name change. Call it the Pipline Pro. He still wouldn’t win it though.

Greenroom Times

Didn’t Elo ruin the Pipe Masters when he got it shut it down for a week after he rocked up to the event with COVID

Sean Connery

Elo ruined everything he touched

Tom

pipe cloudbreak chopes for me

ValiantScorn

I’m going to stream this during the next contest. I don’t know,…MAYBE women’s surfing is more entertaining than this…..we’ll see

https://www.youtube.com/wat…

astro

No way womens surfing can top that.

tim_nelsen

I created a model plan…and she laughs at my jokes…no plans~

https://image.tmdb.org/t/p/…

Cuntry Singer

Atleast Vanity Fair is investing. Rumor is Zirk Diff’s wifes passion spend is about to end soon. In couple years when there’s no tour or rather its licensing rights got sold to Authentic Brands to be licensed into Abu Dhabi pool cuntishness. All the nose stickerless board professionals and us miserable cunt of couch experts will beg we had a tour to complain about.

7dollarsurfboard

The end of the WSL could also spell the end of BG… then we’re proper fucked

Low wide stinkbug stance

Dude, there’s always real estate, faded Hollywood kooks and trans rights articles to keep the pages turning. Not to mention Israeli cheerleading every couple of months.

We’ll be right!

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt

Holy Shit, you might be right. Well I’ll be damned, we really shot ourselves in the foot now, didn’t we?

Sean Connery

We are in a downward spiral. I will be here for emotional support.

tim_nelsen

SEXT…w/ empathy.

JoJo the Dog Faced Boy

The Ziff owned WSL has been a ‘black thumb’ for the pro tour including the suffocation of the ‘Triple Crown.’

Low wide stinkbug stance

Imagine you’re that other surfing org, the one with the willy wonka golden ticket to run the olympics.

It would be so easy to usurp “wsl est 1976”. Start a kids tour that locks them in to only competing at ISA events. After 3 or 4 years those kids are old enough to compete as adults and bye bye WSL.

Thats why the WSL are trying to buy the comps and lock the surfers into only competing at WSL events its the only IP they have besides the pool, and even that has been proven to be fools gold.

Gadoot

Pipe was the only contest worth watching and maybe j-bay

Hippy

Semantics little Nicky, semantics.

And hey, wouldn’t the Inertia post this?

Oh wait, welcome arms as long as you slag Slater.

JSC

“a focus on Vans-sponsored surfers”

That makes the Pipeline Masters an exhibition event, not a competition.

The whole point of competitive surfing is to determine the best surfer by a series of competitive events in a variety of waves and conditions.

The point of an exhibition is to sell merchandise.

Stick man

Yeah they need to hold it at Off The Wall…it only makes sense.

tim_nelsen

Oulu Kai


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