Chants of “Blame Surfline!” ring as “definitely under-forecast” swell paralyzes Oahu’s North Shore!

Terrified land barons, aggravated drivers and a whole lotta finger pointing.

Big wave season snuck into Oahu’s North Shore over the Thanksgiving Day weekend, terrifying land barons, aggravating drivers and thrilling the few surfers who saw it coming. The swell, which was not predicted by forecasting giant Surfline, left everyone confused, baffled, altogether kerflummoxed.

“We didn’t know when to go,” one frustrated surf hopeful left flatfooted in California was overheard mumbling to a neighbor.

“Start with a bang, you know, swell definitely under forecast,” Ocean Safety Lt. Kyle Foyle told Hawaii News Now. “Surf was a very large and surges this morning especially with that high tide earlier this morning.”

While thrilling surfers who track their own swells, the sneaky pulse alarmed home owners who woke up at midnight to the sound of pounding waves. Randy Meyers, who lives on Ke Nui Road, declared, “In the middle of the night I heard the surf, I came down and it was way bigger than anyone anticipated but still the direction of the swell was favorable to this beach – even though it’s taken out a lot of sand it’s not causing any damage.”

He was pleased to see a lack of plastic debris and tarps etc. on the beach. Fights have broken out between neighbors, there, over illegal structures that are erected in order to halt erosion but often magnify the troubles. You will certainly recall surf great Kelly Slater getting snared in “burrito-gate.”

While Mr. Meyers was momentarily pleased, this time around, tourists and commuters were very much dismayed. The extra high tide pushed sand up onto the Kam Highway, snarling traffic and sending drivers into fits of rage against the aforementioned Surfline.

“If I knew, I wouldn’t have gone!” cried one depressed snorkel enthusiast hoping to peek underneath placid seas.

So far no word from the World Surf League.