BeachGrit makes shock pivot from “Unprofessional, Unethical, Inaccurate” to “Brave Defender of Pro Surfers’ Honor!”

Setting the record straight.

I suppose, at the end, artificial intelligence is good for something. Last night as the sun was setting, Surfer Magazine’s robot got on the tools and decided that Carissa Moore had called for a boycott of the Paris Olympics over the Teahupo’o judging tower situation. As you are well aware, the machine believes strange things when it comes to our surfing. ChatGPT, for example, declared that Duke Kahanamoku was a gay icon. It also wrongly suggested that the august surfboard shaper Maurice Cole had been inducted into surfing’s Hall of Fame in 2006 even though, as everyone knows, he expressly and vociferously refused that shame.

Back to the universally adored Moore, though. As pointed out this morning by the noted longtime tour and media observer Lincoln Eather, SurferBot’s baldfaced lying about what she actually said had real potential consequences. “C’mon Surfer Magazine – you’re better than this,” Eather penned. “No where in the article does it state (or any videos you linked to, or anything on Riss’ profiles) does she state what you wrote in the headline. Click bait comes & goes, and can be funny. This borders on fvcked, you’re putting words in her mouth and at a level that could have kick-back on her from the Olympics… Do better.”

BeachGrit dutifully reposted, calling Surfer to account which, in turn, led to a Carissa Moore response.

“Mahalo BeachGrit for setting it straight for me,” she wrote. “I never said I was boycotting the Olympics. I am very saddened by how the new tower plans are negatively affecting my friends and family in Teahupo’o and of course the environment..” She continued to clearly state her position, in human words, on matters before including another slide calling Surfer to account.

BeachGrit shocking readers with its instant pivot from “sucking” and “not being liked by anyone” according to icons Nathan Florence and Koa Rothman or “cheap and character revealing” according to Kelly Slater to “brave defender of professional surfers’ honor.”

Thanks, Surfer.


Mariana Rocha, victim of deepfake nude blackmail plot.

Surfing champ in “emotional hell” over deepfake nudes blackmail plot!

"They appear incredibly realistic. It appears inevitable that such images of me will be circulated online.”

Nothing, they say, is inherently good or bad, it’s how the thing is used that makes it so.

Like the 9mil Ruger under your bed or the hydrocodone on your cabinet.

It’s certainly true of the phone in your hand. Digital technologies afford us our daily dose of family friendly surfing website BeachGrit.

That’s good.

But such tech also breeds rats who scurry around the dark edges of the web sniffing out places to gnaw on the innocent.

And that’s bad.

Enter Mariana Rocha, surfing pro, 2017 Portuguese champ, and victim of rats. The twenty-six-year-old is being blackmailed for five large in exchange for withholding from the world AI-generated nude deepfakes of her.

It’s a high-tech, low-brow shakedown of the poor girl.

She recently received a series of anonymous texts accompanied by the forged nude pics:

“It will be sent to your family.

“Friends.

“Sponsors.

“And the hotel your city is…

“Unless we make a deal now.”

Hackers attempt to blackmail surf champ Mariana Rocha.
Hackers attempt to blackmail surf champ Mariana Rocha.

Surfing star Mariana told the cons that she didn’t have the green but they’re still threatening her with the release of the images.

“I’m in emotional hell,” she says. “I’ve been experiencing tremendous turmoil.”

She admits that, “Honestly, they appear incredibly realistic. It appears inevitable that such images of me will be circulated online.”

Still, she ain’t giving in to the extortion play. In fact, Mariana has gone public to support other women in the same dilemma.

“Recently, I’ve encountered the darker aspects of our evolving world. What’s most alarming is the prevalence of this issue affecting many. I want to bring my experience to light because I believe this new form of harassment similarly victimizes others.”

It’s a brave move, one that might push other victims to fight against a growing number of online attackers.
Deepfake AI bribery scams are on the rise. According to the World Economic forum deepfake videos are increasing at an annual rate of 900 per cent.

In 2022, the FBI received 7,000 reports of AI-related “financial sextortion” against minors. And what once required hundreds of images to create a false image of someone now can be done with just a single photo posted to the web. (I confess, if this happens to me, I just hope that my abs look tight, glutes shining.)

Ms. Rocha currently runs the organization The Proud Surfers in Women in Africa, a wonderful organization, albeit with a misleading name. The group aims to empower girls through a mix of therapy and surfing. Mariana’s got better things to do than waste her time with these crooks.

“Watch out,” she warns. “These fucking hackers are destroying lives, destroying dreams.


Carissa Moore (pictured) champion of hearts done dirty by the dastardly robot. Photo: WSL
Carissa Moore (pictured) champion of hearts done dirty by the dastardly robot. Photo: WSL

Surfer magazine blasted for dangerously lying about Carissa Moore

"You're putting words in her mouth and at a level that could have kick-back on her from the Olympics..."

The oath every surf journalist takes, upon receiving his or her special Maurice Cole designed quill, is thus: “I shall not falsely attribute quotes to professional surfers and especially not Carissa Moore who is the most adored on this, and any other, planet.” Alas, we live in a new time where artificial intelligence is busily punching out stories for Surfer Magazine, the onetime “Bible of the Sport,” and these robots don’t even know the difference between a Maurice Cole and a Maurice Gibb.

Three days, ago, you recall that surfers worldwide, and particularly in Tahiti, became very angry when a barge plowed into Teahupo’o’s prized reef. Tensions had already been high with Olympic organizers wanting to replace the wooden judging tower with a brand-new aluminum one and locals pushing back over environmental concerns.

The barge incident seemed to swell the ranks of the opposition.

Derek Rielly wrote of the incident:

Following yesterday’s report the Olympic barge had accidentally bulldozed its way through the precious coral reef, Carissa Moore wrote:

“(Broken heart emoji) This doesn’t seem worth it.”

Surf fans were quick to dive on five-time world champion Moore’s comment, begging her to leverage her considerable influence to pressure organisers to cancel the tower’s construction with the threat of a surfer boycott.

Carissa left the comment unabridged, not calling for any specific action.

Yesterday, Surfer Magazine’s trending news bot took up the story under the headline “Reef Destroyed in Teahupo’o; 5x World Champ Carissa Moore Calls to Boycott Surfing in Paris 2024 Olympic Games (Video)”

There was neither a call to boycott nor a video of her calling for a boycott in the word salad that followed.

Calls To Boycott Surfer Magazine Grow

Lincoln Eather, noted longtime tour and media observer, pointed out the danger of lying about what Moore said, writing, “C’mon Surfer Magazine – you’re better than this. No where in the article does it state (or any videos you linked to, or anything on Riss’ profiles) does she state what you wrote in the headline. Click bait comes & goes, and can be funny. This borders on fvcked, you’re putting words in her mouth and at a level that could have kick-back on her from the Olympics… Do better.”

Can Surfer do better though? Does the algorithm care about all-too-human conceits like veracity and a good, honest day’s work down in the clickbait mines?

Probably not.

More as the story develops.


Creepy scenes on Australian beach and, inset, Koa Smith, a disciple of Joe Dispenza.
Creepy scenes at Balmoral and, inset, Joe Dispenza disciple Koa Smith.

Zombie-like scenes on Australian beach blamed on surfing-adjacent faith healer Joe Dispenza

“They’re waiting for the mothership. I’m just waiting for Jesus to walk out of the water now.”

Over the past two weeks the surfing world has been held spellbound by the miracles of best-selling author Joe Dispenza, often incorrectly written as Joe Spinoza at BeachGrit, healing the lame, putting the wheelchair industry out of biz etc.

After a week with Joe Dispenza, Griffin Colapinto, the almost-world title winner from San Clemente, wrote of the power of Joe and his patented Coherence Healing.

“All I’ll say is if I had an illness, the first thing I would do is go for a coherence healing,” wrote Colapinto adding he was “leaving this (Joe Dispenza) retreat with so much love in my heart and an understanding of how POWERFUL us humans Beings actually are. This Practice is changing the world for the better.”

At the same Joe Dispenza retreat Koa Smith, the almost Ultimate Surfer from Kauai, says he witnessed, first hand, own eyes etc, the miracle of the lame and crippled being gifted back the use of their legs.

To prove the miracle, Koa posted a photo of a walking stick in a garbage bin.

“I saw people getting up out of wheel chairs. I saw canes in the trash and people cracking their hearts wide open and feeling true love for themselves!” wrote Smith.

“Dr. Joe Dispenza is helping us understand how to tap back into Human potential. Taking complex techniques and science and making it digestible for anyone. He’s reminding us that we have the power to create the life we desire. We have the power to tap in and heal our selves from anything and ultimately how to heal other people.”

All very good stuff and very important for crippled people to realise that it’s all in their heads etc.

Now, after a photo of sinister zombie-like scenes at an Australian beach was posted on a community Facebook page in Sydney, locals poured onto Facebook to voice their concern.

“Does anyone know why people stand individually on Balmoral Beach on Sunday mornings? I would love to know,” one user wrote on the Mosman Living group.

Joe Dispenza acolytes practise Walking Meditation on Balmoral Beach
Creepy scenes at Balmoral Beach blamed on Joe!

“Could it be a cult?”

“They’re waiting for the mothership. I’m just waiting for Jesus to walk out of the water now.”

“Why do I hear a choir of angels singing? So many questions…”

“Looks like a zombie movie.”

“Weird.”

“Never seen this.”

Turns out the weekly event uses the magic of Joe Dispenza where followers utilise his patented Walking Meditation techniques.

Writes Joe Dispenza,

“The Walking Meditation is a great way to practice transitioning from a seated meditation, where we change our energy with our eyes closed, to an active meditation – where we change our energy while standing, followed by walking in that energy with our eyes open. In these meditations, we walk as it. We demonstrate who we want to be in our future, and we become it.”

Change your life like Griff or Koa.

Buy here!


King of Pipeline Jamie O’Brien releases wildly controversial full-length surf film masterpiece!

Just in time for North Shore season.

Pipeline, there on Oahu’s fabled North Shore, has roared back to life and wow and whoosh and whoa. Nothing thrills quite like the Banzai and its wintery return is welcomed in all corners. The bravest men and women accepting her challenge and padding into the mob. King amongst them is, still, one James Duncan O’Brien. The now 40-year-old has the most special relationship with Pipeline, one I was particularly honored to observe whilst directing the film Who is J.O.B. just over thirteen years ago.

I was Charlie Smith back then, having yet to transition to the hyper-ironic “Chas,” and living in Australia when I received the call from Jamie, asking for me to come and direct. I had worked on the project a year, or such, earlier but parted ways over a disagreement with O’Brien’s wild manager, a story in and of himself.

After hemming and hawing, I agreed, flew to Los Angeles and met the film’s editor, a crazy Canadian named Dayten Likeness. I knew, instantly, that we were going to make magic. We quickly formed up Haole Pounder Productions and Red Bull put us up in a Venice Beach apartment.

Dayten and I stayed up all night drinking White Russians, throwing knives into the ceiling, playing Slayer at full volume and cutting the movie’s sections together.

People who dared visit the lair became instantly terrified.

I did not let Jamie see any part of the movie, telling him he must wait until opening night just like everybody else.

We traveled around California, getting interviews, spent a few weeks on the North Shore getting more, then released it to the public at a grand Newport Beach premier.

After an international tour, the film was shelved as Dayten and I were naughty li’l punks, but it is back again and free.

Good appetite.