"Shocking and embarrassing."
In the latest episode of Chas Hates Surfing, the noted author picks apart Bev Hills 90210 star Ian Ziering’s wild street brawl with a gang of “chubby teenage Latinx girls”.
“No actor is more surf adjacent than Ian Ziering (save Keanu Reeves and Matthew Perry),” Smith wrote when news broke of the melee.
“The now 58-year-old got his start on the 90s program Beverly Hills 90210, which was, itself, entirely surf adjacent. After a ten season run, Ziering, who played Steve Sanders, went into C-list purgatory until 2013 when the absurdist Sharknado became a surprise hit. Again, very surf adjacent.
“For some reason, Ziering decided to address fighting a gang of chubby fifteen-year-old Latinx girls on miniature motorbikes by taking the offensive instead of burying his head in shame.
“‘In an attempt to assess any damage I exited my car,” he wrote. ‘This action, unfortunately, escalated into a physical altercation, which I navigated to protect myself.’
“Unstated ‘from a gang of chubby fifteen-year-old Latinx girls on miniature motorbikes.’”
“He continued without shame or irony,
‘I am relieved to report that my daughter and I are both completely unscathed, but the incident has left me deeply concerned about the growing boldness of such groups who disrupt public safety and peace. This situation highlights a larger issue of hooliganism on our streets and the need for effective law enforcement responses to such behavior.’
“Shocking and embarrassing,” says Smith. “And, thanks to Ian Ziering, a gift. We will never as surfers beat groms, no matter how much you want to. Bad look all round.”
Smith also bids the WSL sayonara after yet another WSL-created program gets iced and examines the likelihood of an executive from Old Spice (via Logitech) being able to get Vans back its long-lost cool.
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Me and my 2 inch hose would handle those thicc teen latinx biker girls an entirely different way. Stump up for a fleabag hotel with a pool so it’s classy and a bunch of liquor and street drugs and fuck the daughter off to mum for the night. Dad gonna make sure these roving gangs of bad girls learn some discipline tonight!👨
The real question is, where on the fat spectrum do these lantinx gals sit?
Is it passe to say that Latinx biker gangs are the most passionate?
I foresee this series to be long running and well loved.
And once it goes away nobody will even notice.
Beach Grit copying and pasting Beach Grit is peak Beach Grit.
vote for Pedro~
lay low a warrant is being issued…sit back. we got it~
No Dez, just NO!!
broke down and watched the Chris Cote episode yesterday. Not bad. Thought his whole ‘deference to the experts’ stuff was bs. Seems to be completely uninterested in chipping away at the wall of positive noise. Otherwise seemed like a decent human. May catch another episode in a few weeks.
Its better than temazapam
The gayer than john waters look is totally working!@
naked lunch?
No bread
“The junk merchant doesn’t sell his product to the consumer, he
sells the consumer to his product. He does not improve and simplify his
merchandise. He degrades and simplifies the client.”
―
William S. Burroughs,
Naked Lunch
I think its from Junky actually
Filthy animal
Keep the change
What? You been huffing the woke too much there, chassy !
You’ve gone fucken crazy, mate.
The day you can’t cuff a Grom for being a cheeky little cunt is the day we can collectively pull the chain on this dunny.
Can’t bash a Grom…. fool talk.
I’ll have what Astro is having….that was woke.
Getting better ,the glitchy edit jumps give it a dad vibe
Some Qs for Chas:
1. Is Miami Vice dress coming back to style?
2. What the fuck is that on your neck?
3. How many of those books have you actually read, and which is your favorite?
4. Is there anyone besides DR who actually knows these exist on YouTube?
5. Do you have the original Atari to go with the 80s couch?
Gotta say that couch is the only good thing about Chas’s stupid videos. Had one just like it for twenty years. So comfortable.
Heh – he’s Dons alter ego, Wrong Johnson.
I fight chubby Mexican girls everyday, for my heart.
Billabong’s Plus sized Latin X biker girls line Spring ’24! Buy HERE.