It's baaaaack.

The World Surf League is alive! Surf fans, everywhere, have spent the last two months nervously biting their fingernails whilst vigorously refreshing email inboxes, wondering when the “global home of surfing” would release something, anything, about the 2024 Championship Tour season. Alas, those tentacles were chewed down to nubs with inboxes remaining empty.

Was professional surfing going to fold like its sister professional bodyboarding?

But no!

Minutes ago, and hours ahead of the Lexus Pro Pipe, the “Welcome to the 2024 WSL Championship Tour” was unleashed. Twin WSL co-interim CEOs clearly deciding to march past the Parvo room in order to kick the PR intern in they/them’s pants and release the following.

The Banzai Pipeline, located on the North Shore of Oahu, is one of the most powerful and challenging waves in the world. Widely known as surfing’s proving ground, surfers have been making the journey here every season to test their skills at the world-renowned break. The wave itself is a hollow, fast, barrel that breaks over a treacherous reef.

Over the past two seasons, the women have showcased their talents at Pipeline and raised the bar for what is possible, inspiring a new generation of surfers. Defending event winner and five-time World Champion Carissa Moore (HAW) put on a brilliant display of barrel riding last season, making her the one to beat. But, she will face a stacked field including a new rookie class hoping to make a name for themselves.

The competition will also see three event wildcards joining the world’s best surfers: 2022 Pipe Pro winner Moana Jones Wong (HAW), 2023 SAMBAZON World Junior Championships runner-up Jackson Bunch (HAW), and 2023/2024 Hawaii/Tahiti Regional Qualifying Series winner Shion Crawford (HAW).

Rejoice and savor this, let’s be honest, final World Surf League offering before the reins are handed to Abu Dhabi and the show is rebranded Kelly Slater’s Pro Surfer.

Here’s to the Cosmos stop.

"The weight of winning the Shootout is so much heavier than a WSL event or any other contest.”

It is impossible not to adore Maui’s Billy Kemper. The big wave, small wave and everything in between charger has inspired surf fans for years. But who, here, was not moved by the eponymous six-part series Billy that tracked the star as he recovered from a life-threatening injury and returned to the very heights of surfing power.

Essential, to quote the great Derek Rielly. And pivoting to modern times, just yesterday, or maybe the day before, Kemper won the prestigious Da Hui Backdoor Shootout as part of Team Peru. The waves for the final day were not what would be considered “good,” though they certainly highlighted our hero’s ability to shine in any and all conditions.

“Some of these events in surfing never really register as surf contests,” Kemper declared at the end. “To me, only two events in the entire world hold that power: The Shootout and The Eddie. They’re more like celebrations of surfing, culture and community rather than rankings, ratings or competition. At the end of the day, the weight of winning the Shootout is so much heavier than a WSL event or any other contest.”

Powerful.

And, please, discuss what the win means for you as you navigate various ups and downs in your own life.

Inspirational speaking circuit rapidly shutting.

The World Surf League kicks off its 2024 Championship Tour in mere days, though not that you’d know it. The sounds emanating from the “global home of surfing’s” El Segundo veterinarian office can only be described as “radio silent” with a dash of “dying cat.”

Well, no matter and it’s true. Filipe Toledo is certainly gearing up for his third crown in a row but it is unlikely that he will ever catch one Kelly Slater. Surfing’s greatest of all-time has amassed an eye-watering eleven championships over the course of his decades-long career.

Very neat.

All things come to an end, however, and now fifty-six, and only on tour thanks to a “special” season-long wildcard, Slater must be planning on what life looks like outside of the singlet.

One avenue, that of inspirational circuit speaker, likely blocked by an angry mob. For you have certainly seen the trouble shark attack survivor and icon Bethany Hamilton has faced in recent days. A woman’s group in Oshkosh, Wisconsin invited the Kauai native to address its members. All very innocent… except. A gaggle became enraged and collaborated on a five-page open letter seeking to have Hamilton removed.

“For those who may not be aware, Bethany Hamilton announced in February 2023 that she refuses to compete in World Surf League events in response to their decision to adopt the International Surfing Association (ISA) policy on transgender participation,” the framers declared. “Bethany Hamilton wants transgender surfers to be segregated into a separate athletic division. Currently, there are no transgender athletes competing in the World Surf League, and only one transgender athlete, Australian longboard surfer Sasha Jane Lowerson, has ever won a professional surfing competition.”

Bravo for our Sasha Jane to make news in Oshkosh, B’gosh, but ominous for Slater who has gone on record to state that there should be a specific transgender division in professional surfing.

Absolute fighting words in this day and age.

Fighting words or worse.

It must be assumed that five, or even six, page letters will be written to any board that dares invite Slater to the lectern. Must be assumed that protesters will gather outside Ramada Inn conference rooms, pitchforks held high.

Slater’s indelible voice drowned out by rage-filled shouts for justice and rights.

So no inspirational speaking but then what?

Barrista?

Help!

Unpaid bills, cancelled events.

As mentioned exclusively on BeachGrit, and nowhere else, the World Surf League’s 2024 Championship Tour theoretically kicks off in less than two weeks at the Lexus Pro Pipe. A fresh start for each and every professional at the top of their game. Hope springing eternal and for surf fans, too, what with fresh Surfival League picks ready to ride (sign up here).

But there has been absolutely no advertising campaign reminding the public of the WSL’s grand return. No new slogans or fonts even in this Olympic year where the mainstream might actually become invested.

Crickets.

Is it because ultra flimflam man Erik Logan has left the building only to be replaced by two interim CEOs who seem not to understand the role?

Something more insidious like total collapse?

Well, if our bodyboarding brothers and sisters are canaries down that coal mine, the end might very well be nigh. According to a Facebook post, the very important International Bodyboarding Corporation has not paid its winning athletes, is cancelling events and is being very hush hush about matters.

Bodyboard journalist Sam Morretino writes:

What adds to the concern is the IBC’s recent decision to remove Arica from the 2024 schedule. This move comes as a surprise, given that it was anticipated the organization would prioritize resolving the outstanding payment issue before making such decisions. The removal of Arica from the schedule further undermines the credibility of the IBC, leaving athletes uncertain about the organization’s commitment to honoring its financial obligations.

Compounding the issue, the IBC continues to promote Tanner McDaniel and Pierre le Costes, despite the unresolved payment matter. This contradictory behavior prompts questions about the organization’s ethical stance and its responsibility to the athletes it represents.

The IBC’s choice to remain silent appears as an attempt to let the issue fade away, leaving fans wondering if the organization is grappling with financial instability.

Yikes.

And real talk. How sad will you be when the WSL collapses? Like, on a scale of 1 – 10 (10 being suicidal). Will professional surfing’s billionaire owner Mr. Ziff pull a full Nixon out the door and exclaim, “You don’t have Dirk to kick around any more, because, gentlemen, this is my last press conference.”?

Likely not because he stopped giving press conferences after publicly pooping upon his fanbase.