Hurley issues bizarre press release touting Filipe Toledo dominance at Sunset Beach ahead of Pipe Pro!

Get ready for exceptional shows of in-water ability!

When the gilded name “Filipe Toledo” is mentioned, many qualifiers spring to mind. World’s best small wave surfer. Two-time world champion. Future Brazil Olympian. Brave Teahupo’o coward. One that doesn’t register is 2023 Sunset Beach winner but it is true and being celebrated by his sponsor Hurley ahead of the Lexus Pipe Pro which, according to Kelly Slater, will launch today.

In a bizarre press release, the beard oil manufacturer, which also happens to sponsor the Sunset Beach Pro, declared it was, “stoked to play host to the world’s best surfers as they take on one of the most challenging waves on tour in what will certainly be an exceptional show of in-water ability.”

In-water ability the new “ripping.”

And in any case, the piece quickly pivoted to Toledo, reading:

As the second stop on the World Surf League (WSL) World Tour, the Hurley)( Pro serves as a crucial event that will set the tone for the entire competitive season. With the best surfers in the world in the water, each heat will be action packed, but all eyes will surely be on back to back 2x World Champion and last year’s Hurley)( Pro winner, Filipe Toledo. Says Brett Simpson, head of Sports Marketing at Hurley, “It’s always special to see how World Title winners come out the following season, and since Filipe’s run has been truly iconic, we’re all really looking forward to watching what he does with this momentum.”

Are you?

Looking forward, that is, to what he does with that momentum?

I think we sorta know by now. It will propel him past the mid-season cut to Teahupo’o where he will bob, shivering, out the back either not catching waves, being schooled by 50-year-olds or both, then on to Lower Trestles where he will win his third world title.

Sunset Beach, here we come!

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Simcha

Taylor Swift has arranged for his win.

Shredy Kruger

The girls said Pip can surf with them if He Feels Better.

tim_nelsen

trippin to get this far…brazill ’66

Tom

How do they now spin the “injury” tho?

Floret Jon

“It’s always special to see how World Title winners come out the following season…”
Fella sat out back again and did nothing. Rookies are charging harder

JohnsKnees

Hurley saw the report for the first two rounds and knew it was going to be an early exit for Pip so theyre trying to get ahead of it.

Great PR honestly, WSL take note.

tim_nelsen

surf journo’s dig in

Sean Connery

Say what you may about his skills in waves of consequence but the fact is he ripped the bag out of that place last year and was the deserving champion.

Rocks local

spot on

Barrelled

There is no doubting his ability to surf normal waves but it’s just really difficult to get behind someone as the best when they won’t take off on any waves of consequence.

Rocks local

I think Mr Bond was referring to him being the ‘deserving champ’ at Sunset last year.

Barrelled

Point is that Sunset isn’t really a wave of consequence. It gets big and heavy but the wave itself is pretty shitbag for the most part. If it wasn’t such a coliseum type atmosphere it would hardly get surfed when its big.

Rocks local

right, understood. Not gonna end up on a stretcher there. Makes sense.

Urchin Sepsis

Didn’t he get a pass in the
non elimination round when it was huge because someone was sick (possibly Kai Lenny)? Or was that 2 years ago?

tim_nelsen

generations pisagree…phil ^ BK & hakman and g/ lopez sharing/throw ur money into the pot!

tim_nelsen

auditorium…what IS your point? you and larry and jethro are thrill-killers…lite the fuck up! and leave me alone/

Otto

I’m looking sideways, to what happens when shit goes sideways.

Barrelled

Pepto-Bismol might help.

Otto

The Pepto-Bismol Pipe Pro has a nice ring to it

Rocks local

speaking of sideways shit, hopefully you’re not in on the ‘nfl wants the chiefs in the SB so TS can endorse Biden’ conspiracy bullshit.

Barrelled

Is that a real conspiracy? Pretty fucking weird what people will make up.

Rocks local

Was the top headline on Drudge yesterday and this morning: ‘MAGA declares war on TS’

She did endorse Biden in 2020 but the idea that she would do it at the SB is lunacy … my guess is she holds off any endorsement this time around regardless.

Barrelled

Endorsing either of these dipshits is a lose-lose situation for anyone.

Rocks local

Exactly…

Otto

There was a time when Drudge broke stories. Then Trump broke Drudge.

Rocks local

Drudge was the original Trump. Beat Peter Baker and Mike Issikoff at their own game back when the Post (pre PB splitting for the NYT) and Newsweek were still things.

*PB and Mike Iss would presumably tell you that it was their editors that Drudge beat, not them

Otto

When Andrew Breitbart was Editor of The Drudge Report he noticed a shift in direction towards support for Obama, abandoning the hard press scrutiny TDR had been known for.

Breitbart was a brilliant man.

Rocks local

didn’t agree with Breitbart’s take on the world but he was obviously very smart. Also, I’m not sure Drudge was ever as wedded to a political side as he was just to breaking news before anyone else. Of course, after scooping everyone on Lewinsky he sort of outdid himself, since after that editors were not nearly as cautious and didn’t sit on things like they did in the pre-Drudge days.

Otto

Indeed

Barrelled

Fucking Bravo Chad. You wrote 196 words, copied and pasted 111, and never mentioned yourself. It’s a miracle.

Noncompetitor

Should have included some Derek sexual innuendo mastery


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