“You pinned me up against the wall outside of our high school classroom, with your hand around my neck…”
A Baptist preacher from Florida has laid a wild claim against Kelly Slater, greatest of all time etc, in a to-camera piece that has just surfaced on YouTube.
Michael Criswell is well known for his powerful sermons and unwavering commitment to spreading the Word of God via a YouTube channel which counts almost one hundred thousand subscribers.
Criswell also spent a year and a half at the same Cocoa Beach high school where, he says, Kelly Slater gave him hell for an imagined slight against a third party.
“Kelly Slater, you and I met in an extraordinary way, after you pinned me up against the wall outside of our high school classroom, with your hand around my neck, after you misunderstood something I said to Krista Guidash,” says Criswell. “I’m thankful to your brother Sean Slater for what he did that day. I tell more of that story in this video…”
It gets weirder.
“Even though I no longer knew you or followed your life, I started having recurring spiritual dreams about you and they have continued for over 25 years, as best as I can remember, leaving me with quite a burden for you. In one of the dreams I had about you on Dec 28, 2015, you can hear that I recorded that something bad was going to happen to you, which as you will hear in the video, was followed 18 months later by the worst injury of your career at JBay, where you broke your foot.”
And weirder,
“PLEASE KELLY SLATER, I KNOW YOU ARE SUPER BUSY…JUST WATCH THE FIRST 10 MINUTES OF THIS MESSAGE FROM YOUR FORMER COCOA BEACH HIGH SCHOOL CLASSMATE!”
The name “Criswell”, of course, is often associated with the renowned W. A. Criswell, a prominent figure in the Southern Baptist Convention.
Under Criswell’s leadership, the Southern Baptists returned to their conservative roots, and his influence resulted in thousands of pastors being trained in conservative theology. He also popularized verse-by-verse preaching of the Bible, a practice that had become nearly extinct.
As a tribute to his legacy, the W. A. Criswell Sermon Library was established to preserve and promote his spiritual heritage. The library features many of his sermons, including “Death in Detente,” which was a watershed moment in the battle over the Bible within the SBC, and “Whether We Live or Die,” a powerful message from the 1985 Pastor’s Conference at the Southern Baptist Convention.
Compelling and weird.
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mr criswell this video is not very good mate and your just seeking attention for an encounter that you had with him a long time ago in order to try and gain more attention and popularity but you have totally gone about it the wrong way and you have highlighted many negative things in this video which dissappoints alot of people when they watch it and as far as your dream theory you are completly wrong and this what we call in australia being a tosser ok as dreams mean nothing as they are just an illusion while your asleep but none of them mean anything at all ok and the only reason why he invited you back to his house to check out his surf gear was because after the encounter he had with you someone told him that you were a special child in the special ED classes with the other down syndrome kids and he took pity on you and invited you back to be nice to you thats all. Next time. you have encounter with a famous person just try and keep it to yourself ok ive a few encounters with a few famous people but i dont go and make public videos about it like a total wanker like how you have done it.
PS I hope the rehab program you have entered does well for you.
Why do most of the wacko’s come from the deep south, lord kell shoud invite the ( fill in ur name of choice here ) for a spiritual get together…
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Michael Chriswell is a false prophet and cult leader. Likening him to a Baptist minister is sad.
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reminds me…three Jehovah’s (two Lucy’s and a Hello Kitty) approached me on my front porch while casually sucking on a Camel Red. was able to fully annoy them for almost twenty minutes. being a recovering catholic i suggested they take their bible to the VTA mission and pray for me. “Do you think I would look better as a women?” Kelly was not mentioned.
As a recovering and former Mormon I approve this story! Have similar stories of the Mormons showing up at my door in their latest attempt to bring me back into the church. I always offer a beer or tequila and have on occassion offer up stories on strip clubs, drugs and call girls in Vegas to keep them entertained.
“HEY EVERYONE LOOK AT MEEEEE!!!” is what I got from this.
1 hour long!
So I’m the only idea’s man here?
Criswell needs to launch a board brand.
As a preacher with a church the whole thing can be written off tax free.
Indeed, the Florida state may pay his workers because his “helping them “.
Plus unlike Kelly Thailand pop outs his helping the local community, and god!
I cannot choose between the two best brand names for the boards-
It’s either got to be Bishop or Baptism.
Either will immediately score a niche market.
Model names will be pretty obvious-
The CHOCKER.
The STRANGLER.
Long boards model could be-
FIVE FINGERS.
To late for all that, heard he drank some bleach instead of mouth wash..poor guy.
Did anyone here honestly sit through the hour-plus of watching this Floridiot spew about old-school social confrontations all of us seppos were a part of in the U.S. suburbs in the 1980s and 1990s, before Instagram and Snapchat became the pathetic teenager mode to tell a classmate you’re mad at them? This whole thing… just file under the “This is why the world laughs at the U.S.” category for sure.
Fuck no.!
I never click on any bg link
Exactly. In order to avoid cancer I don’t use microwaves, I seldom eat MSG and I NEVER (sometimes) click on a BG kink.
So well said.
How’s this cunt choking his chicken.
Xox
With little bobby’s hand.
Out of everyone, I would want to be choked by Gabby.
AJ for me
Word !
Yeah, Gabby for me, too. The nice soccer player man serving drinks.
Fuck around and find out Reverend
Let me add to that, “F#$k around (with turtles) and find out”…
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ripped curls…
And people wonder why pencil necked dweebs get bullied.
just went out for a smoke break to clear me head…and there’s a former pool or two. and the expressed-needed permission to provide a scenic view…of why State Farm Insurance & The Rest abandoned coastal Cali…down-graded to favilias. https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….
I think I understand the vibe you’re laying down!
an oddly well-informed history of the theological schisms within the SBC by DR. Impressive work.
AI in action again
*John the Baptist (Yahya Nabi) would (most likely)
deny any profundity-insight or spiritual realization
coming from christians or baptists, who have been conned
and scammed by the temple rabbis>via their controlled
opposition scriptures=your script/goyim).
Don’t think I’d ever want to be well known. Yikes.
or Outerknown for that matter…
Baptists love meth. Call me John.
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Where did you get that picture? I think it’s one of my second cousins from Norcross, Ga
That’s my uncle daddy. I new we’d be famous someday.
They also love having wet dreams featuring Kelly Slater. But I am left to wonder if Elo has similar dreams about Kelly?