The vision is compelling, the wildly virile tattooed
daddy-of-four Billy Kemper getting airborne on a takeoff that by
any stretch might be regarded even by surfers of this level as
impossible.
Watch Billy Kemper’s wipeout of the century
as Jackass Johnny Knoxville exclaims, “That’s some warmup!”
By Derek Rielly
"Cloudbreak turned it on today! She’s a beautiful
thing. Glad you're ok Billy Kemper."
The Big Wave World Tour champion and four-time Jaws
winner Billy Kemper has thrilled masochists worldwide with
a wipeout at fifteen-foot Cloudbreak.
The vision is compelling, the wildly virile tattooed
daddy-of-four Billy Kemper getting airborne on a takeoff that by
any stretch might be regarded even by surfers of this level as
impossible.
Even a brief viewing has the viewer crouching in his armchair
like an animal that is cold, the pit of his stomach churning as
Billy Kemper goes helter-skelter into the void.
As you might imagine, the world’s best surfers, as well as
silver-haired stuntman Phil Clapp aka Johnny Knoxville, dived into
his commentary pane to dress him with compliments and back
pats.
.
Nathan Florence: That was next level flight time😂, injuries
are a mindset, mayonnaise is a superfood
Tom Carroll: l: Yeeeeeew💯🌊🎉 Cloudbreak turned it on today!!!
She’s a beautiful thing❤️glad your ok @billykemper
It followed his triumphant return to America (thanks to
executive producer and WSL CEO Erik Logan who, in episode
three, tearfully whispered to his wounded comrade, “Gonna bring you
home, Billy”), a visit from Laird Hamilton who offered Billy his
home, with its gymnasium and pool and ice baths, to rebuilt his
busted body and the revelation that the death of shredder older
bro, Eric Diaz, of a drug overdose has driven everything.
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Michael Hoskinson (pictured) not paying rent in
JohnsKnees personal space.
Lighting rod former Huntington Beach
planning commissioner in ultra hot water after admitting to
stiffing surfer on rent!
By Chas Smith
Big trouble in Surf City.
Political watchers were shocked and dismayed,
earlier today, after former Huntington Beach planning commissioner
publicly admitted to stiffing surfers on rent. Michael Hoskinson,
who works as a real estate broker after becoming inspired by his mother when she
purchased him a house, took to BeachGrit’s
libertarian message board in order to declare, “HAHA what’s the
next lie you’ll tell about HB??? we love our town and are thrilled
to stop politicians from being able to pander to identity politics.
If you don’t like HB then stay the fuck away.”
The statement, in any case, was met with a volley of live free
or die responses including, from JohnsKnees, “Aren’t you the guy
that resigned or got fired from the planning commission for your
anti-semitic and anti-islamic comments?”
Hoskinson’s clearly aggrieved, shot back, “No, I’m the guy that
is living rent free in your head.”
Free market capitalists and John Birch Societeers were stunned
that the real estate broker would confess to leftist chicanery and
openly wondered if he might, in fact, be a squatter or worse
still.
Theologians and historians wondered what he did call Islam
though were left wanting as he did not explain after leaving office
with tail tucked.
“Tail tucking,” as it so happens, likely to be banned in
Huntington Beach soon.
BeachGrit’s religion desk has reached out to
Hoskinson’s professional hotmail account and is hoping to hear
back.
More as the story develops.
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Huntington Beach sez "Kick rocks!"
“Surf City, USA” voters enshrine ban on
breast cancer survivor flags in Huntington Beach charter!
By Chas Smith
LGBTQ+ and World Surf League flags verboten
too.
Huntington Beach voters turned out in droves,
on Super Tuesday, to make certain Surf City, USA stays free from
in-your-face breast cancer survivors, University of Southern
California graduates, Grateful Dead heads and World Surf League
aficionados. Those proud about their lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans,
Q Anon roots too.
The City Council, you most certainly
recall, banned the flying of non-state,
non-government, non-military flags on municipal property last year
in a tight 4 – 3 tally. Days ago, voters lent their gravitas by
enshrining the
rule into the city charter by a slim 58%
majority.
Mayor Gracey Van Der Mark boldly declared, “A lot of this is
taking Huntington Beach back to how it was. A lot of cities are
afraid to push back because they don’t want to be the target of
Sacramento. We’re not afraid.”
“The way it was” clearly a shot over breast cancer survivors’
bows who, in truth, should now be afraid.
Peg Coley, the executive director of the LGBTQ Center Orange
County, making it all about her community, was not so kind,
countering with, “The Huntington Beach City Council is run by a
hateful majority whose only interest is advancing an agenda of
intolerance for minority communities, including LGBTQ+ individuals.
The Huntington Beach City Council is run by a hateful majority
whose only interest is advancing an agenda of intolerance for
minority communities, including LGBTQ+ individuals.”
Surfer Magazine, taking its first political stance
since endorsing Joe Biden in Biden v Trump First Blood, described
the town as a “hotbed of Orange County conservatism” and warned
readers that they will not be entirely welcome during this summer’s
U.S. Open of Surfing.
Surfer, man. Always on brand.
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Rip Curl may have "shat the bed" with the trans-episode
but very hard to deny beauty and effectiveness of their
wetsuits.
Are Rip Curl wetsuits worth the inflated
price tag?
By surf ads
When should you shift from Need or Project Blank
and into the stratified realm of the high-cost corporate
wetsuit?
I mentioned this Rip Curl wetsuit in my most recent
board review. A 2mm long-sleeved springsuit purchased in
their recent online fire sale. At fifty percent off it was cheaper
than wholesale, if my memory of wholesale costs serves me
correctly.
You gotta give Need, and to a lesser extent Project Blank,
credit for the niche they’ve created. Upon purchasing my first
Need, which was probably around the time I wore my last Rippy suit,
I swore I would be a customer for life. Good-enough quality,
drastically reduced prices. A brand ethos I could get behind. Even
the all-black design was a major selling point.
But wetsuits are one of those things like mattresses or seafood.
Sometimes it’s worth paying a premium price to ensure you get a
premium product. Need and PB just haven’t quite got there yet with
matching the top-end performers. Perhaps it isn’t in their interest
to do so. I dunno.
They’re a damned good suit for those on a budget, and I don’t
want to dissuade anybody from copping one if they’re looking at
suits in that price $200-$400 range. They still can’t be beat.
But I started drifting back to the premium side a few years ago.
A Zion 2mm steamer which I still use as a backup. An O’Neill
Defender steamer purchased last winter, which I surfed in every day
for six months and which is still holding up admirably.
The extra stretch and water protection was immediately
noticeable when compared to my Needs and Project Blanks. And this
was only a mid-range O’Neill suit. For those cooler winter and
autumn mornings, when a certified cold wuss like myself wants as
much protection as they can get without sacrificing flexibility,
you can’t go past the top-end performers.
It was to my delight, then, when I saw the Rip Curl wetsuit fire
sale.
As I mentioned in my previous article, I didn’t really need a
new suit. Around my neck of the woods you can transition from
boardies and vest to steamer without too much fuss.
Plus I already had a long-sleeved springsuit. A Need, funnily
enough, which served four seasons of intermittent use. But it was
ready to go. The material was deteriorating so that every time I
surfed I had a ring of black nylon/glue around my neck. The fabric
in the derriere was one wide legged swing away from ripping open
completely. Not a pretty sight.
A quick note on this in defence of RC: they did indeed shit the
bed with their back and forth. SJ left hung out to dry. Both sides
of the argument alienated.
But from what I see on the ground, Rip Curl still do a lot for
grassroots surfing. Many kids around here get their first nose
sticker deal through RC. I see them out and about supporting
boardriders clubs, hosting events. Being part of the community. The
Sasha debacle was a PR misstep, and something they will no doubt
learn from. But their overall core cred is still there with me.
Anyway, on to the wetsuit itself.
You may remember I had actually put this Rip Curl wetsuit up on
Marketplace to fund a board purchase. As new. With tags. Cost price
plus a little extra for the obligatory online haggle. But after ten
days or so the post had received no bites, and on the first
cool-ish day of late summer/early Autumn I decided to wear the
fucken thing instead.
It’s a beauty.
There’s a few little design issues with RC chest zips, an
under-neck guard that stubbornly refuses to go over my shoulder.
Zipper teeth closing in the wrong direction. Key cord that’s too
thick for my key. But the thing is ridiculously warm, even as a
2mm, and within a couple of surfs it had adequately stretched into
the unique undulations of my bodily contours.
Of course, the day after wearing it I copped three enquiries on
Marketplace asking if it was still available. But it only took that
one surf to know I had made the right decision.
That endorsement, however, comes with one caveat. Rip Curl
wetsuits, while stretchy, are notoriously flaky when it comes to
durability.
I shall report back in one year to see how it’s holding up.
What’s your take on long-sleeved springsuits? Do you thrill in
the ultra-hip sleekness of long arms and short legs? The buttock
firming qualities of the neoprene pull? Or are you a short arm
steamer, meat and potatoes type of gal?
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The game goes on at the Rip Curl Pro Portugal but it
ain't the same without Kelly Slater.
Gamblers win big at Rip Curl Pro Portugal
as wildcards dominate and Kelly Slater says, “I may never surf here
again!”
By JP Currie
Had you placed a mere tenner on Cole Housmand,
Jacob Wilcox, Joan Duru, Seth Moniz and Ramzi Boukhiam, you would
have profited nearly 24k.
A bold man might have made a lot of money on the opening
round of the Rip Curl Portugal Pro.
Some examples:
Had you placed a mere tenner on Cole Housmand, Jacob Wilcox,
Joan Duru, Seth Moniz and Ramzi Boukhiam, you would have profited
nearly 24k.
Add in Sammy Pupo, Caio Ibelli and Federico Morais and you would
have won just short of two million.
There are almost endless combinations of these that would have
made you rich by most people’s standards.
Doesn’t seem so hard, does it?
I am, eternally, that bold yet foolish man. At daybreak I placed
a bet. A Euro (and Euro-adjacent) triumvirate of Joan Duru, Ramzi
Boukhaim and Federico Morais. Odds of 165/1 for all three to win.
Forty-five pounds sterling on, to return just short of seven and a
half grand. Not to be sniffed at for the average man.
Unfortunately, reader, I shat it.
I could not believe in Federico Morais, not against Yago Dora,
not at his home-ish break where he’s so often underwhelmed.
And so I cashed out. A profit, yes. But a drop in a vast ocean
of losses. For once, a cautious move among a lifetime of bold
losses.
That’s what I get, I suppose. You can’t change your strategy or
your spots.
I doubt anyone was prophetic or lucky enough to make these
choices at the Rip Curl Pro Portugal. Why on earth would you pick
Jacob Wilcox and Sammy Pupo over Florence and Medina, for
example?
But that’s how it played out, and Portugal’s detractors and
sceptics will suggest it’s the fault of the location, not the
surfers. But that wouldn’t exactly be true.
In truth, the waves were unspectacular but sufficient at
Supertubos today. Shoulder to head high, rights and lefts. No
barrels to justify the name, but definitely a few sections to
whack.
John Florence wasn’t able to find one. Medina did, but couldn’t
make anything stick.
Scoring was heavily biased towards the biggest waves.
Where in the stretched out line-up these waves might appear was
largely a mystery. Judges were looking for turns to be linked
rather than single big manoeuvres or airs. Though if the airs were
big enough, the scores would have been forthcoming, as evidenced by
Jack Robinson’s 8.83, the single highest score of the day for an
alley-oop with pleasing amplitude and quite lovely velocity.
Robinson was filmed on the beach pre-heat, eyes closed, engaged
in breath work. Activating, as Joe Turpel might say. It seemed to
work, and he brought a rare verve to his heat.
Not that it did him any good. All he managed to manifest was a
drop in on Callum Robson, which led to an interference penalty and
cost him the heat. No arguments. A clear misjudgement of
priority.
The second highest score of the day belonged to Sammy Pupo. He
began his heat with a similar alley-oop to Robinson, but only
garnered 6.67 from the panel, who were apparently keeping their
powder dry for Medina.
It took two vertical backhand turns on a left for Pupo to score
his 8.33. Rewatching it now, it was certainly a good wave in the
context of the day, but it’s hard to justify why it was a point or
more better than many others.
Medina, by contrast, fired blanks throughout, leaving the judges
wanting.
The answer to the lacklustre performances of Medina and some
other favourites is perhaps fatigue. If not physical, then surely
mental.
Many of them had flown in from Puerto Rico, where they had been
competing in the ISA World Surfing Games, just the night before.
Ramzi Boukaim said he had surfed 13-14 heats in Puerto Rico.
Testament once again to the incomprehensibly poor format cooked up
by the ISA.
Tom Curren joined the booth. There was a lot of umming and
aahing. He tried, bless him. But he’s one of the surf world’s
luminaries who we should admire always on waves but never mics.
To be fair, I’m sure he feels the same. But if he still wants
those Rip Curl cheques, he’s obliged to be somewhat visible. And
it’s a charmed life for sure, still being paid to surf in your
sixties.
And what of Kelly Slater?
Absent once again, owing to an alleged hip injury. In one way it
feels wrong to doubt the man, but you can’t help but suspect a long
trip to Europe for a poor forecast to surf a beachbreak makes the
old hip niggle a bit.
Kelly, out of Portugal, hip ain’t so great he
says.
What is his plan, I wonder? I still don’t see a happy exit for
him. I’m not even sure there’s a doggy door.
Sayonara Portugal and thanks for the mostly
crappy memories.
Some big names fill the elimination heats at the Rip Curl Pro
Portugal when we return: Griffin Colapinto, Gabriel Medina, Kanoa
Igarashi and Ryan Callinan.
Competition at the Rip Curl Pro Portugal will likely resume in a
few days once the westerly gales have blown through. And it could
be a mad dash to the end once again. Let’s hope we get some classic
Supertubos to silence the Euro sceptics.