Griffin Colapinto (insert) blocks out crazy as
housewives go wild over low priced surf clothing.
“Black Friday” feared as Costco begins
selling Hurley men’s tech pant for $19.99
By Chas Smith
Mob violence in the forecast.
We are exactly 264 days from Christmas and yet
behavioralists fear a deep, dark, violent Black Friday might occur
today as big box retailer Costco has advertised that it will begin
selling Hurley men’s tech pants for under $20 US. The mid rise
chinos, which come in tan, green and light blue, feature woven tech
fabric for added flexibility and comfort, moisture wicking everyday
performance fabric and a hidden zip pocket hidden at side
seams.
Hurley aficionados will certainly be aware of the brand’s
cutting edge use of science cloth in its award-winning boardshorts
and look to replicate the experience of high performance backside
alley-oops on in the office or out for Sunday brunch mimosas.
The sub $20 price, though, too provocative? Behavioralists, who
have studied past shopper riots including, but not limited to, the
Furby Fungo of ’94 are extremely worried that housewives wanting to
see their mens “move like Kai Lenny” will rip each other to bits
over the trousers.
Making matters very much worse, Quiksilver hoodies in grey,
darker grey and tan are being listed at $16.99.
Housewives seeking the “full Griffin Colapinto” for their mens
tearing each other’s throats out.
Potentially very dark days.
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Florence teamriders, John John and Nathan
Florence.
Nathan Florence quits Vans to ride for John
John Florence’s eponymous label FLORENCE!
By Derek Rielly
"We have the power to reshape the surf industry and
pave a new way for upcoming surfers, to build something great
together as a family."
Nathan Florence, who turns thirty this year, wrote on
Instagram:
What a life! The day has come to join forces! So fired up to
announce that i will be Surfing under my own Name and will be
moving forward under the FLORENCE flag🚩, beyond excited to bet on
myself, my brother you may have heard of him (@john_john_florence
) who pioneered this epic endeavor and the incredible team at
@florence_marine_x,
the future is very exciting, we have the power to reshape the surf
industry for future generations and pave a new way for upcoming
surfers, to build something great together as a family, imagine the
projects and trips that are about to happen! All hail the Slab
Tour! The continued innovation in great gear made to push the
limits of our relationship with our oceans and coastlines, protect
us from all elements hot or cold, and allow us surfers and outdoor
people to spend more time doing what we love, Surfing, Adventuring
and exploring our natural world!! So stoked to take this on lets do
this!
Five months back, Nathan Florence officially spiked the Jan
Brady curse and become the alpha male of the Florence squad, which
also includes the sexiest brother of them all Ivan, when he was voted surfer of the year.
Through the course of 2023 Nathan Florence rarely missed a slab
or ledge session whether it was in Hawaii, Australia, Scotland or
Ireland.
His diligence was rewarded when he was awarded Ride of the Year
and Surfer of the Year at the Big Wave Challenge awards in Nazaré,
Portugal.
On day one of the Lexus Pipe Pro waiting period, Nathan Florence
released footage of a “mutated, backless right reef slab somewhere
in the Solomon Islands.”
Ironically, it was Nathan Florence with the career switcharoo
and not his hotly competitive brother John John, who is rated
three, coming into his favoured event, the Margaret River
Pro.
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Mother Nature going overboard. Again.
Oahu scholastic sport chief cites
“dangerous Mother Nature” as reason to bar surfing from list of
officially sanctioned activities!
By Chas Smith
She's a real shifty one.
As most students of surf history know, our
Sport of Kings was birthed there on the Hawaiian island chain,
flourishing under that tropical-adjacent sun. Sliding waves an
indelible part of the aloha lifestyle. It may come as a surprise,
then, that surfing is not a recognized school sport on the most
important island, Oahu, having been stiff armed by the executive
director of the Oahu Interscholastic Association, Bryce
Kaneshiro.
Waianae surf team founder and coach Beth Matsuda is trying to
change this by introducing House Bill 500 which would recognize
surfing as appropriate. “It’s a high school sport in the east and
west coast, Australia, but it’s not a high school sport here,” she
told Hawaii News
Now, adding, “A lot of kids in the school surf, but
they have no access to represent the school. So this is a way of
representing their school.”
What might be considered a no-brainer, though is not getting
support from the aforementioned OIA with Kaneshiro very suspicious
of dastardly surfing, citing that curmudgeonly old Mother Nature as
a major part of the problem.
“The safety for the kids in both practice as well as the event
itself because something about surfing that is always dangerous is
that it’s mother nature, you never know what might happen,” he
sneered.
Matsuda, undaunted, is putting her hopes on House Bill 500,
which is requesting $50,000 for surf competitions and $25,000 for
jet skis.
Kaneshiro, equally dug in, is countering, “Just because you get
the funding for it doesn’t mean that you’re pushing that sport in,
we have to say we have other factors that we have to consider.”
Do you have a dog in this fight?
Pro surfing as team sport or anti?
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JMD (pictured) in better times?
Major shockwaves at World Surf League as
Jessi Miley-Dyer quietly drops “Chief of Sport” title!
By Chas Smith
Big confusion, many pointed fingers.
The rumor mill was sent into overdrive, early
this morning, as sleuthing surf fans discovered World Surf League
“Chief of Sport” Jessi Miley-Dyer had quietly dropped the august
title from her Instagram page and now presents only as she/her,
previous championship tour surfer and first WSL World Junior
Champ.
Miley-Dyer has been a staple of professional surfing at its
highest level, climbing the ranks through multiple regimes
including those fronted by disgraced and embarrassed Erik Logan,
England’s Sophie Goldschmidt, over-enthusiastic Paul Speaker and
the last true and right leader Brodie Carr.
Confusing matters greatly, Miley-Dyer still has “Chief of Sport”
on her LinkedIn portal.
While the Sydneysider has not been seen in Australia, handing
important duties including, and limited to, calling contests on in
the morning, to Renato Hickel, two distinct camps have emerged:
Those who believe she is ascending to the long-vacant perch of CEO
and those who believe the “global home of surfing” is undergoing
further contractions ahead of eventual sale to Abu Dhabi.
In which do you find yourself?
Well, the tour moves to Margaret River in but one week carrying
a heavy front load of San Clementines. Will the 2% continue to
dominate all the way to a hometown finals day or will Brazil rise
again?
Also, if a rudderless sport governing body disintegrates in a
Western Australia vineyard and nobody is there as witness, does it
make a sound?
More as the story develops.
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Kelly Slater lists redundant beachfront
compound at Laniakea for $20 million
By Derek Rielly
Located on the most coveted street on the North
Shore of Oahu, this exclusive beachfront estate is the premier
offering in Haleiwa, Hawai’i.
The hottest news on the North Shore is the surprise listing
of Kelly Slater’s sprawling Laniakea compound for twenty mill,
almost triple what he paid for it seven years ago.
Kelly Slater bought the joint for $7.8 mill in 2017 after it had
listed one year earlier for twenty-two mil.
An examination of its price history on Zillow reveals Kelly
Slater listed it for rent in 2018 for 80k a month, dropped it to
72k in 2019, 59k in 2019 before sitting on 45k in 2020. No word if
anyone actually took up the rental, even at the cut-price rate of
10k a week.
Now, yours for twenty mill or thereabouts.
Kelly Slater’s Lani’s house.The surprisingly modest street frontage at Kelly
Slater’s Lani’s house.About as beachfront as it gets at Kelly Slater’s
Lani’s house.
Located on the most coveted street on the North Shore of
Oahu, this exclusive beachfront estate is the premier offering in
Haleiwa, Hawai’i. Set on an oceanfront lot traversing over a half
acre, this compound encompasses elegant living while embracing the
barefoot luxury lifestyle of the North Shore.
Stepping into this private sanctuary, soaring ceilings and
an expansive open floor plan invite stunning ocean views throughout
the interior, epitomizing the Hawaiian ethos of indoor-outdoor
living. Comprised of a main home and two large guest homes
perfectly situated, designed with both privacy and entertaining in
mind, the oceanfront property embraces wellness, an active
lifestyle, and relaxation with an infinity edged pool, hot tub
nestled into the mature tropical landscape, plus miles of beaches
and community paths closeby.
Situated along the esteemed Papailoa Road, the residence
delivers more than just a prestigious address—it offers an
unparalleled experience of Hawai’i. For those in pursuit of an
oasis of a home that encapsulates the essence of island elegance
and peace, this private sanctuary stands alone.
If you didn’t know, Laniakea is a little way off the super
highway traffic of Pipeline, Rockies and Sunset. It’s back on the
western side of Waimea Bay and is a raw righthand point break. If
you want to skew left, across the headland going north is Jocko’s,
which is fun as hell. A few tiger sharks around these parts chasing
turtles, if you like wildlife too.
