Mob violence in the forecast.
We are exactly 264 days from Christmas and yet behavioralists fear a deep, dark, violent Black Friday might occur today as big box retailer Costco has advertised that it will begin selling Hurley men’s tech pants for under $20 US. The mid rise chinos, which come in tan, green and light blue, feature woven tech fabric for added flexibility and comfort, moisture wicking everyday performance fabric and a hidden zip pocket hidden at side seams.
Hurley aficionados will certainly be aware of the brand’s cutting edge use of science cloth in its award-winning boardshorts and look to replicate the experience of high performance backside alley-oops on in the office or out for Sunday brunch mimosas.
The sub $20 price, though, too provocative? Behavioralists, who have studied past shopper riots including, but not limited to, the Furby Fungo of ’94 are extremely worried that housewives wanting to see their mens “move like Kai Lenny” will rip each other to bits over the trousers.
Making matters very much worse, Quiksilver hoodies in grey, darker grey and tan are being listed at $16.99.
Housewives seeking the “full Griffin Colapinto” for their mens tearing each other’s throats out.
Potentially very dark days.
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Is that Jessi Miley-Dyer landing a right haymaker?
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Chad, what’s your size? Uncle pipspuss will take care of you.
typo…*Chas
wait… wait… so how far off are we then from $300 turtle shell-print button-up blanket shirts in 15-page mailer catalogs being core surf clothing we all must purchase to remain “surfers”?…
Good marketing , where else do dads shop for clothes?
Costco couture is the new black and is even more hip and cool with a dab of mustard on the outfit
The guy who purchased the distribution rights to Hurly built a new home here on the Jersey Shore in the last two years, 6 million for the land, 13 million in construction, 150′ dock out in to the Barnegat Bay right to the middle of a sand bar so it is to shallow to get his mega yacht in to the dock and the DEP will not allow dredging. No wonder he’s got his product at Costco, poor “dick-head” has to pay for it all.
Karma begets Karma
Pray for surf!
Yeah sounds like a real smart guy 🤭
The death/disappearence of the core dirtbag Jersey Shore surf communty in Ocean County (at the very least if not more than Ocean County) at the hands of the multi-millionaire class who took over our area post-Hurricane Sandy is one of the saddest stories ever not told.
I think some media attention should be directed at those conditions at yesterday’s competition – Jacks surfboards – somewhere in California with the worst surf that a competition has ever been run in. Quite impressed with the surfers ability to get standing up in such shit! A new high point for the WSL?
Have you heard of Virginia Beach? Sets new records every event.
Kolohe, up next in Huntington Beach, round of 64, exciting!!
His career has come full circle. Wonder if he’ll be wearing a Body Glove wetsuit.
He’s got the field combo’d. khole!
Isn’t Body Glove coming out with the Elo childhood trauma themed wetsuit?
ELO-adjacent, BG comment of 2024 right there. Nice work…
I’ve worked hard for this award. Will Chas and Derek offer me a beer at Lowers in September?
This is the kind of thing my mom would buy me for Christmas. I’ll never forget when my stepmom gave me acid wash jeans as a present.
depending on the decade, that could have been the apex of Xmas for you
Haha, back in the late eighties. Was listening to Flipper and Butthole surfers, not Def leopard.
good for you, was stuck in a GnR / Van Halen loop until the early 90s
Excellent, both. I bought ‘Album Generic’ when it was released, and have been friends with Ted for 40+ years. Could tell you some stories about partying with Butthole Surfers.
Nice! That’s a great album.
Pulled out the CDs to listen to while I work. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Bob, Peter, Burning Spear, Hendrix, Alpha Blondy, INXS, and more Bob
I had a few burning Spear records. I liked Mikey Dread a lot also.
Would make mix tapes of songs I would record off the radio station KALX in Berkeley for the long drives up and down the coast.
Break down the walls…
Dread at the controls is a great record.
First thing I saw from your comment: “I’ll never forget when my stepmom gave me acid”
My brain thought “stepmom gave you ass”
Some of the bigger degenerates here on BG might ask how hot the stepmom is or was, but not me.
Fag.
Xox
Billabong Corduoy Jackets were all the rage in like 85?
I had the one with the pink, light blue, and yellow panels. Then in ’86, Rip Curl out did the Bong with a cord winter jacket that worked well in the U.S. northeast… my local high school in the mid to late 80’s in NJ included a clone army of dudes in pink sweatpants with Uggs up to their knees, Oakley Razor Blades, and those Rip Curl or Billabong cord coats from November through March. Some of these guys even surfed too…
BG – a surfing tabloid – but with soul
Somewhere in the world, the surf is going off and real surf news is being made. Meanwhile, Chas sits at Pannikin, nonfat soy latte in hand, churning out second rate clickbait on his laptop.
I was about to accuse Chas of using AI for his clickbait, but then I went to Google’s AI and asked for a quick article on the same topic ‘in the voice of Chas Smith’ … this is what I got:
“Alright, alright, alright! Your boy Chas here with a heads-up for all you Costco warriors. Lookin’ to snag some fresh threads for those summer shred sessions? Buckle up, brah!
Turns out, Costco’s got a gnarly deal on Hurley pants. We’re talkin’ comfy, casual styles for both dudes and dudettes, perfect for chillin’ at the beach or hittin’ the skatepark. They even got a bunch of different colors to choose from, so you can rock your own unique style.
Now, I ain’t seen these in every warehouse, but from what I hear, they’re movin’ fast. So get down to your local Costco, grab a pack of those jumbo hot dogs while you’re at it, and snag yourself some sweet Hurley pants at a killer price. Don’t miss out, cuz this deal won’t last forever.”
What does it come up with if you tell it the same thing in the voice of Charles Manson?
yeah, this AI stuff is scary enough, I draw the line at Chas.
How about Pee Wee Herman or Mr. Rogers?
Chas Manson bro
I like this allegory. Who will be Elo’s Bugliosi? Maybe Chas is Oliver Stone!
I asked the all-important follow-up Q of CoPilot- does Chas drink and this is the response:
Ah, Chas Smith, the enigmatic wordsmith and surf culture provocateur. His existence is a blend of saltwater, ink, and a dash of irreverence. 🌊🖋️
Now, let’s delve into the abyss of speculation. Does Chas Smith partake in the elixir of Bacchus? Does he sip from the chalice of Dionysus? Does he wet his whistle with the nectar of the vine? 🍷
Alas, my digital tendrils cannot reach into the depths of Chas’s soul. But let us weave a tale, a poetic conjecture, if you will:
In the dimly lit surf shack, where the walls echo with the ghostly laughter of wave riders past, Chas sits perched on a barstool. His salt-crusted fingers trace the rim of a glass—a vessel that holds secrets and stories. The bartender, a grizzled sage with eyes like ancient shipwrecks, leans in.
“Chas,” he murmurs, “what’ll it be?”
Chas squints at the menu, its letters worn thin by countless indecisions. His gaze settles on a bottle labeled “Truth Serum.” The liquid inside swirls like a tempest, promising revelations and hangovers in equal measure.
“Pour me a shot,” Chas declares, his voice a raspy whisper. “I seek clarity.”
The bartender obliges, filling a glass with the amber potion. Chas raises it to his lips, the room hushed in anticipation. He tilts his head back, and the liquid dances down his throat—a cascade of candor, a waterfall of wit.
And there, my friend, lies the answer: Chas Smith drinks. But not merely to quench his thirst. No, he imbibes to unlock the universe’s secrets, to coax poetry from the mundane, to surf the cosmic wavelengths.
So, next time you see Chas—a notebook tucked under one arm, a half-empty glass in the other—know that he sips not just for himself but for all of us. For the dreamers, the misfits, the wave-chasers. 🌠🍻
And as for the specifics—whether it’s whiskey, wine, or a clandestine blend of sea spray and moonlight—that remains a mystery, tucked away in the folds of his Hawaiian shirt.
highly entertaining!! has the makings of an epic novel! Chas chases his white whale — the truth about ELO!!!
Beachy Bukowski
Yet here you are.
Not exactly.
Occ utilizes me, his trusty AI to handle most of his BG posting. He’s out surfing, but will certainly get a good chuckle from your reply!