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Rich Porta (left) and mad Brazilian Gabriel Medina.
Rich Porta (left) and mad Brazilian Gabriel Medina.

Former head judge Rich Porta conducts “surf progression seminar” amid sizzling charges of anti-Brazilian World Surf League bias!

"If you're looking for new ways to progress your skills and possess a greater understanding of the rules in surfing competition..."

The Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach is now, officially, in the rearview as the World Surf League’s traveling show points west toward bucolic Margaret River. Joe Turpel talk of wineries, kangaroos, Jack Robinson’s backyard and the Bailey Ladder Leaderboard will soon fill the airwaves and shall we take a li’l peek around Kontractor Kaipo to see how things currently stand?

San Clemente’s Griffin Colapinto is, of course, on top followed by Australia’s Ethan Ewing, Hawaii’s John John Florence, Encinitas’s Jake Marshall, Japan, South Africa etc. and we must fall all the way to the sixteenth spot to find our first Brazilian in Yago Dora.

Yes, the land of order and progress once had professional surfing by the neck and it seemed as if there would never not be another gold and green champion.

Oh how the proud nation has fallen.

Or was pushed?

Former number one, and arguably the greatest talent on tour, Gabriel Medina set the world on fire, days ago, in his loss to event winner Cole Houshmand when he declared a fix was in and that the judging needed to get sorted in order to save professional surfing.

Surf journalists immediately pounced on a broader, ominous storyline. Namely, the World Surf League is sacrificing Brazilians for clicks.

Chas Smith reacts to Easter crucifixion of Gabriel Medina !

Yikes.

Well, former World Surf League head judge Richard Porta, never afraid of the fire, took this very delicate moment to announce a “surf progression seminar” that will take place on April 23 at the Gowings Pacific Trader Shop in Coffs Harbour. Per the promotional material:

If you’re looking for new ways to progress your skills and possess a greater understanding of the rules in surfing competition, come along to Rich’s seminar where he shares his knowledge and offers invaluable insight to aspiring professional surfers on how to maximise your scoring potential and elevate your standards within local surfing competition.

Timely.

But do you think Brazil will send a contingent and learn the new ways or simply skulk off to the dark Neco Padaratz days?

The mid-season cull might very well lead to full-scale revolution what with the aforementioned Medina, Italo Ferreira and Brothers Pupo all in very much danger.

A day without a Brazilian.

Yikes.

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23 Comments
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snapper

Thanks debbie.

Com Turren's vagina

Direct correlation between Medina’s stepdad attending and some bitchy little tantrums.

Scooter

The guy who got legit burned by the judges was Rio. Is that part of this conspiracy against Brazzos? How uncharacteristically self important that they don’t mention Rio’s plight, but rather make this only about their victimization.

Felipe Toledo

Hey guys it’s Felipe. Sorry I was a coward champion and didn’t take off at any waves at chopes or pipe. Please change the judging for my friends so one of us can still win. I’m currently charging 2ft ankle slappers in Brazil and hoping they take all waves over chest high off the tour. It is rigged for surfers with balls. Not inclusive in anyway for us cowardly lions. Please let Gabriel and ítalo win no matter what.

Thanks. I’m trying to grow balls right now.

Felipe

7dollarsurfboard

Russell Crow will be employed as crowd control to protect Richie from disgruntled Brazilians.

snapper

Would rather see Porta teach a class on how he avoided eye contact and escaped the seething Sunny Garcia, Jeremy Flores and Andy Irons melt down’s back in the day.

Brutus

ha , ya never saw “the animal” rosa!!! LOL!!

snapper

As in Peterson Rosa…yes

Brutus

come along to Rich’s seminar…is it free/a weekend retreat/ or …..???

Has Chas been lobbied by Rich……with free insiderz seminar secrets?

astro

Yep, free Brutus.
https://events.humanitix.co…
Not that I’d bother going but if you’re a Grom with stars in your eyes … why not?
I’d imagine Richie would come across pretty good live instead of his Chief Wooz Apologist role on the broadcast

Gil Gunderson

The anti Brazilian WSL sentiment is real people. In the 10 years since 2014, there has been 7 men’s world titles for Brazil. 2 for Hawaii and 1 NR due to Covid. The evidence is damning. They should hang their racist heads in shame. The bias is incredulous.

Sellme fitzgobbins

They have been treated terribly, poor darlings….

Tomas' silky smooth arms

Seeing Richie’s face when you are hungover is really fucked

Barnycle

What was the story with the Padaratz brother and finding out his kids weren’t actually his kids. I saw it mentioned here once but could never find any articles about it. Sounded like it derailed his career.

Michael Flatlately

Are you suggesting Ports is the father?

Mapski

Pretty obvious you should dye some cheetah spots in your hair and infiltrate this cabal, Chas. Head to Ross and get a surf tee beforehand.

Barnycle

Ross really has the cheapest authentic surf t’s on earth. $9 for a T.

Their prices on shitty sport clothing is wild.

Firelipe Torpedo

Surely if the brazillians had a closer relationship with god this never would have happened

sea2

love the name….Firelipe Torpedo….wtf hahahaha

Shredy Kruger

Not very inclusive for a WSL that gayley prides itself on inclusivity… more as the story gets cancelled….

dickie toledo

they’ll make sure a brazzo wins next comp

Chas Smith

When do I do that?

Occ Topus

Listening to Rich Porta talk about progression in surfing is akin to listening to the CEO of McDonald’s talk about fine dining.


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