Cole Houshmand wins Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach
Cole Houshmand, tour rookie, killer of Brazilian dreams, wins Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach.

Giant killer Cole Houshmand dominates world at epic Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach

Derek Rielly

By

Proves the felling of Gabriel Medina no fluke!

Ain’t it amazing the difference a few days makes.

After felling Gabriel Medina in a last-second win in the round of 32, a victory that brought Brazil to its knees sobbing, San Clemente tour rookie Cole Houshmand has won the Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach in a tense  battle with neighbour and pal Griffin Colapinto.

Earlier, in his post-heat interview three-time world champ Gabriel Medina had claimed the fix was in, that his opponent Cole Houshmand was gifted his win as part of an ongoing conspiracy against the Brazilians.

“It’s bad for the sport, I’ve been through a lot of judging things but I feel like this is the worst one.… we pretend it’s not happening. It’s happening. It’s bad for the sport,” said Medina.

The Australian world champ Barton Lynch seemed to confirm the bias telling a Brazilian interviewer,

“Over the years, I worked as a commentator and I was watching the heats and this (strange things) happened to Gabriel Medina a few times where I said. ‘What?’ said the universally respected BL. “I saw things differently and I always felt like the Brazilians had been robbed and I verbalized what I felt, I said what I thought”.

In his victory speech Cole Houshmand said,

“I’ve been visualising this every day for the last two weeks and ringing that Bell…my biggest goal was to make it to Fiji on year one, I’m glad I’m going there. The cut’s out of the vision but there’s bigger things for me to achieve now.”

As to surfing a final with his pal Griff,

“I told him, this is what we dreamed of since we were kids. I just wanted to enjoy it and at the same time there’s no one I want to beat more or rather lose to, so it was a weird mind set.”

A full day’s analysis from BeachGrit’s Scotland-based correspondent JP Currie a little later tonight.

Erik Logan in happier days.
Erik Logan, back when he ruled the WSL like benevolent king!

Sacked WSL chief Erik Logan gives clue to mystery disappearance in latest confessional!

Derek Rielly

By

“My trauma manifested into a default mindset for me to be a runner - specifically, run away, escape, and protect myself.”

The former WSL chief Erik Logan, whose almost five-year tenure as pro surfing’s north star was cut short on a moody June day in 2023 with no reason given, has continued his run of confessionals on his wildly addictive Substack.

One week ago, Erik Logan posted a lengthy screed detailing his cataclysmic descent from 42-year-old beginner surfer, loving everything surf, to architect of the entire sport with all its ensuring baggage. Stroke, heart surgery, divorce, losing his WSL job and surprise pivot from surfing and into tennis!

“We’ve all been told, ‘Do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.’ Or maybe, ‘Follow your passion; the money will follow you.’  There are countless variations on this theme,” wrote Erik Logan.

“Throughout my career, I let this idea guide my professional choices, and tried to make my job my passion. The reality was that I was passionate about my work, but it was never my burning passion. Four years ago, I took a passion that I had discovered and made it my job and I can now say I’m not 100% sure this cliche is the best advice, at least for me.”

In today’s confessional Erik Logan, who may look like a doll but who ain’t stupid, mines his childhood trauma.

Erik Logan as a child.
Baby Erik Logan, mid-seventies, with Oprah and WSL still in the future!

“My childhood was complicated.  All of us have different issues from childhood, so I’m not assuming mine was any more or less special than anyone else’s.  Any abuse you experience as a child shapes you for decades to come.  Whether it is verbal, emotional, or physical, it all takes a toll on you, primarily if you never deal with the trauma properly.  My trauma manifested into a default mindset for me to be a runner – specifically, run away, escape, and protect myself.  Run from everything: problems, unhappiness, whatever I didn’t like – shut down and run.”

And,

“My coping mechanism for trauma at a young age was using my feet to get running.  The physical running also spilled over into emotional running, leading to avoidance, shutting down, and countless other not-so-great personality traits.  My therapist, whom I will call Jennifer (in honor of Dr. Melfi from The Sopranos), now has lifetime employment and works with me weekly on this trauma.  A lifetime of conditioned reactions to stress or trauma means that I react by running (physically) or emotionally (shutting down) at times still to this day.”

Clues to the disappearance of Erik Logan? Forced to run, escape and protect from WSL trauma?

Read here for more clues!  

Open Thread: Comment Live on the historic Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach final day!

Chas Smith

By

Loose the dogs.

Kelly Slater (pictured) thinking about what not to name his son.
Kelly Slater (pictured) thinking about what not to name his son.

Breaking: Spite spirals out of control in surf star Kelly Slater!

Chas Smith

By

"You never realize how many people you just don't like until you try to name a baby."

It is, officially, April every single where in the world. New life springing in its northern hemisphere. Trees sprouting green buds. Birds and bees doing their thang. A glorious time with maybe the most glorious growing in the Kelly Slater home. Yes, the greatest surfer to ever do it announced, after his miraculous Bells Beach heat win, that he and longtime Chinese girlfriend Kalani Miller were expecting a baby boy.

Both, as it turns out, gifts from surf journalist Chas Smith.

I had seen, like everyone else, Slater’s decline in recent months. An inability to muster the 6.37 + 5.89 totals required to win heats on the World Surf League’s Championship Tour and I didn’t want it to end this way. Decades upon decades of dominance merely fizzling. And, so, I planted a spite seed in the GOAT’s heart, openly declaring and repeating that he would never win again thereby guaranteeing a spite victory. I knew this would be hard on the 54-year-old and so I also declared his unborn child would be a girl thereby certificating a spite son.

But as happens with heavy magic, things seem to have careened out of control. In an overnight social media post, the 11-time champ declared, “You never realize how many people you just don’t like until you try to name a baby.”

Slater, up late, making a sort of enemies list. Furiously crossing out Chas Slater, Rob Slater, Clifton James Slater, Hakeem Slater, Elon Slater, et. al.

Spite gone wild.

And as mother of this invention, I now understand how Dr. Oppenheimer felt after creating the first atomic bomb. That wow moment quickly replaced by uh oh.

Will Kelly Slater’s spite spew have unintended naughty consequences? Many innocents maligned? Or will he be able to reign it in?

Also, should we make a betting pool as to name of the li’l fella? It’s for absolutely sure going to be island-infused.

Kai Slater.

Keanu Slater.

Jamie O’Slater.

What you got?

Chas Smith takes to the streets to unspool the narrative behind Gabriel Medina's Easter crucifixion.

Chas Smith reacts to Easter crucifixion of Gabriel Medina at Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach

Derek Rielly

By

"Has the World Surf League set up the judges as sacrificial lambs in order for them to be taken to Brazil and murdered in the streets?"

In the latest episode of Chas Hates Surfing, the best-selling author Chas Smith weighs in on the Easter crucifixion of three-time Brazilian world champ Gabriel Medina at the Rip Curl Bells Beach Pro.

After a shock loss in his round of 32 heat to San Clemente rookie Cole Housemand over Easter, thirty-year-old Gabriel Medina unleashed in his post-heat interview with Laura Enever describing it as “the worst judging I’ve ever seen.”

His BFF, soccer ace Neymar, agreed, describing the result as “routine.” Neymar also used emojis to describe the judges as clowns. 

Gabriel  Medina claimed he’d long been underscored by the judges (although it’s difficult to explain his three world titles) saying, “It’s bad for the sport, I’ve been through a lot of judging things but I feel like this is the worst one.… we pretend it’s not happening. It’s happening. It’s bad for the sport.”

Gabriel Medina’s outburst follows a long proud line of Brazilians complaining about losing, notably in El Salvador and at Surf Ranch.

Despite the apparent bias, Filipe Toledo’s two world titles were gifted in two-foot waves and Brazilians have won every world title since 2018.

Chas Smith asks, “Do the judges deserve it? On one hand, yes, the judges are…human. And they made a mistake.”

But…

“Has the World Surf League set up the judges as sacrificial lambs in order for them to be taken to Brazil and murdered in the streets? That would be very good views. That would be must-see TV.”

Essential.

Photo: Steve Sherman/@tsherms
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